


Vengeance is Mine

by ErBearG32



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, Blind Character, Confined/Caged, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Ghosts, Hurt, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Permanent Injury, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Revenge, Seeing Eye Dogs, Starved, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Surgery, Torture, Trauma, beaten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-24
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 11:00:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 74,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/697542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErBearG32/pseuds/ErBearG32
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years have passed since the Winchester brothers murdered her family and yet, Missy Bender was more determined then ever to get revenge. She was older and wiser now, and she had her sites set on Sam Winchester when he was at his most vulnerable. AU to Season 8. Blind/Hurt/Limp Sam, Pissed-Off/Hurt/Over-Protective Big Brother Dean and Motherly/Protective Sheriff Mills.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Vengeance is Mine

Written by: Erin

“C’mon, Sammy, answer your damn phone,” Dean growled in frustration as his brother’s voice mail sounded in his ear once again. With a groan, he snapped his phone shut only to re-open it again and press speed dial 1.

“It’s Sam. Leave me a message.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/wmplayer202007-04-272018-05-23-26_zpsf43db8a9.jpg.html)

“Sam, I swear to God, if you don’t pick up…” Dean felt his voice crack and with a shake of his head, moved the phone away from his ear again and snapped it shut. Frustration and concern ate at him as he tossed the phone over to the opposite bed, the bed which usually belonged to Sam.

Except Sam was missing. Again. His brother wasn’t answering his phone, it kept going straight to voicemail. Any time this happened, it could mean one thing and one thing only: Sammy was in trouble and Dean wasn’t there to help him. Hell, he hadn’t been there to help him all year thanks to a year long trip to Purgatory…

But he was out now and after having made the long trek from where he had managed to make his escape, he knew he had to find his little brother. He thought it would be so easy, call his brother up, find out where he was…but not this time. Once the older Winchester had managed to finally make his way to Rufus’ cabin and had seen his beloved Chevy Impala parked out front, Dean’s big brother instincts kicked into overdrive. It was as if he had never been gone at all.

The car was there, but the cabin was empty, save for all of Sam’s belongings…except for his phones. It was as if his brother had just decided to go for a nice long walk, but didn’t come back. And it had been over 24 hours.

Something was wrong. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt something was wrong. 

With a low growl, Dean reached for his phone once more and pressed speed dial 1 once more. If Sam didn’t answer this time, if his phone was still turned off, so help him…His little brother was going to be in for a shit load of anger from Dean, that was for sure-

Just as the older Winchester started making his own mental list of what to do when he finally got a hold of his pain-in-the-ass, always-making-him-worry brother, Dean’s breath suddenly caught in his throat as the phone finally starting ringing on the other end of the line. His heart racing rapidly as he waited impatiently, Dean rose to his feet and started pacing from one end of the room to the other.

“C’mon, damnit,” He cursed over and over again, lifting his green eyes to the ceiling and groaning. Just as he was beyond certain he was going to be stuck with his brother’s voicemail once more, the sound of someone picking up on the other end of the line sounded in his ear. Stopping in mid-pace in the middle of the cabin, Dean waited until he could find his voice before uttering softly,  
“Sammy?”

Nothing.

Nothing except for the all-too obvious sound of someone breathing…and breathing loudly at that.

Dean’s brow furrowed as the knot in his stomach grew and he growled into the mouthpiece,  
“Who the hell is this?”

More silence greeted him for another few moments before an unfamiliar female voice sounded on the other end,  
“You’ll find out.”

Dean’s heart thudded loudly in his chest as he raced to the other side of the room and grabbed his jacket before heading out the door of the cabin,  
“Where’s my brother?” He demanded, not really expecting an answer but knew it was worth a shot. As long as he had this person on the line, he’d be able to track the call to the GPS in the Impala and thus locate his little brother…

“Wouldn’t you like to know, Dean?” The stranger chuckled in his ear, causing a shiver to run down the older Winchester’s spine,  
“I mean, after all, you adore this little piece of shit, don’t you?”

Dean climbed into the driver’s seat of the Impala and brought the car to life, pressing the speaker button on the phone as he turned on the GPS,  
“If you hurt him, if you so much as touch a hair on his head, so help me God…”

“It’s a little too late for that now, isn’t it, sweetie?” The person continued, her voice changing into mock sympathy,  
“Poor little brother. I mean, where were you all those months? Where were you when your sweet little Sammy has been suffering? Where were you when he cried out for you night after night, knowing you wouldn’t come-“

“Shut the hell up!” Dean snapped, pulling the Impala out of the driveway, tired squealing. He glanced down at the GPS and tried to ignore the fact that the destination was hours away and focused on the caller. This bitch would pay; if she had his brother the entire time he was in Purgatory, what did that mean? What kind of condition was Sam in?

“Let me talk to him,” Dean demanded, his voice leaving no room for argument, but instead the person on Sam’s cell laughed loudly.

“Oh that’s too funny,” She chuckled,  
“Just too funny.”

And before Dean could interrupt, the line went dead in his ear and the older brother shouted loudly in the empty car,  
“Son of a bitch!” 

0000

The darkness and pain was nothing new when he opened his eyes a crack, wishing once again that this was all a horrible nightmare. He would wake up in a nice, comfortable motel bed, his brother sound asleep in the bed next to his closest to the door. The two would make wise cracks at each other as they prepared for their next hunt and he would just shake this off as just a vivid dream that only felt too real.

Except that wasn’t the case.

He had been in here too long, he didn’t know how much time had passed, but it was most certainly long enough. He stopped counting the days and weeks a long time ago…But he knew that this wasn’t a dream; it wasn’t a sick joke. He was still trapped, he still couldn’t see and it was still cold. He didn’t know how long he had been forced to wear the same clothes, he couldn’t remember, but he did know that the thin t-shirt he was wearing did nothing to shield him from the cold he felt day in and day out.

Most of all though, he wished more then anything that his brother was there; he missed him more then he ever thought possible. But he was dead. He had to be dead. He wouldn’t still be in this position if he was still alive, would he? He wouldn’t leave him, he knew that much if nothing else. So that left only one option.

Dean was dead.

Everything he had done before he found himself here, all the research he had attempted after Dean had ganked Dick Roman, all lead to him believing the same thing. Dean wasn’t alive. The most logical option had been that he had been zapped to Purgatory, but that option had left his mind the minute he had looked around the lab and seen nothing but black goo. 

“It looks like you are well and truly on your own.”

Those words Crowley had spoken to him had to have a double meaning and the more he had thought of it, the more he started to believe it. But yet at the same time, the nagging feeling wouldn’t leave his brain: What if he was alive?

But then he could also have exploded along with Dick and that left him feeling sicker then he had ever felt in his life. Lucifer and the hallucination were nothing to how he felt right then.

With a painful huff, Sam placed his hands on the hard floor and tried to push himself up as far as he would go until his head his something solid. Groaning, Sam lowered himself back down to the ground and leaned back, blindly reaching a shaky hand out and grasping metal bars of the cage he was locked in. Once again wishing that his sight was at least restored, Sam let his head rest against the bars and opened his mouth,  
“Jody… you still there…?”

Feeling a cold hand grasp onto his and squeeze from the other side of the bars, Sam breathed a small sigh of relief as he heard his friend’s voice,  
“I’m still here, Sam.”

Sheriff Jody Mills kept her hand on Sam’s as she leaned against the bars of her own cage, knowing Sam needed to have the physical contact from her to at least know he wasn’t alone. She squeezed the younger man’s hand as she spoke softly,  
“Feeling any better, honey?”

Sam shook his head miserably as he sank deeper to the floor,  
“No.” He took a deep breath and continued,  
“Is she coming…?”

Jody looked around and was grateful the two had some privacy this morning, unlike some when their captor would be outside the cages when they awoke. When that happened, Jody knew they were in for a hell of a day,  
“No, honey, she’s not.” Jody squeezed Sam’s hand once more before releasing it and moved to grab her plate of food-or rather slop-and tried to push it through the bars,  
“Sam, you have to eat; she hasn’t fed you in days-“

“No, you need it, Sheriff,” Sam kept his eyes closed, knowing it was useless anyway to try and blink his sight back. He felt the plate of food press against his hand and he waved it away weakly,  
“I can’t take it-“

“Yes, you can, and you will,” Jody firmly interrupted, shoving the plate all the way through into Sam’s cage,  
“Don’t make me use my mom voice now, Sam; she’s making you suffer more then me because of what happened to her cannibalistic family, I just happened to be there with you, so that’s why I’m stronger right now. Eat, Sam, I won’t tell you twice.”

Sam sighed softly, his stomach growling uncontrollably at just the very thought of food. He knew Jody was right, but…

“SAM.” 

He heard Jody’s voice toughen and felt her hand grasp his shoulder, shaking him gently,  
“You’re gonna get even more ill if you don’t eat, you know that.”

Sam shook his head at the feel of his friend’s hand and his thoughts immediately shifted to Dean; memories swarmed over him at Jody’s orders, these were the types of things his big brother always did, when he took care of him when he was younger and even as he got older. No matter what, Dean was always there for him, never taking no for an answer especially when it came to his health.

“Dean…” He mumbled incoherently as he felt his eyes prickle with unshed tears.

Jody’s heart clenched as her friend said the name of his older brother again, just like he did nightly when he slept. Sam had a tendency lately to talk in his sleep since they’d been here and each time, Dean’s name was always on the younger Winchester’s lips. She wished more then anything she could wave a magic wand and transport herself and Sam out of here and bring Dean back wherever he was. She didn’t know if his brother was dead or alive; she knew the odds were stacked against them and nothing looked good. If Dean was alive, Sam wouldn’t be here, that was all there was to it.

“I know, sweetie,” She dropped the food subject for the time being, but kept her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it, all the while wishing once again the metal bars weren’t between them so she could comfort him properly. The older woman felt her own eyes sting with tears as she saw Sam’s finally start to fall that morning,  
“I know.”

0000

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It had been the perfect plan, she had known that for certain, and now it was going off without a hitch. As a matter of fact, it was going much better then she had intended. Sure, she had never intended to go as far as to damage the younger Winchester’s sight with a hot iron poker, but now that it was done, she didn’t regret it.

After all, Sam and Dean had murdered her entire family; and although that cop had nothing to do with it, the cop that her family had caught along with Sam many years ago had helped murder her father. And that was inexcusable. Nobody hurt her family and got away with it.

Of course, that was 8 years ago and she was only 13 at the time, but she still remembered it. And now because of what her family had taught her about the hunting business, she was fully intent on taking over for them. She was smarter, she was older and she had learned a lot in those years. She was Missy Bender after all.

She remembered how she had stalked the younger Winchester boy for weeks before she had finally made her move. She had to admit, for somebody who had appeared to be smart and strong, Sam was nothing but a big marshmallow inside and it took her no time at all to put her plan in motion.

Of course, since the cop was at that cabin with Sam, she had to be extra careful to not get caught; but now that she thought back on it months later, she had to smile to herself. Some hunters they were, they never saw her coming, she knew it. Missy had taken them both by complete surprise and she had to contain herself from laughing too much or too hard in their presence. That would have to be saved for a later date.

And now, as she closed Sam’s cell phone with a cruel grin, Missy rolled her eyes to herself and tucked the phone back into her pocket. What a complete moron Sam’s brother was. For someone who had disappeared on his brother so suddenly, she had thought that would only make him smarter; she thought that make him realize there was nothing he could do to protect his precious baby brother, especially from her.

And of course, Dean was too late this time around. When the older brother had shown up unexpectedly at her parent’s home all those years ago to rescue Sam, Missy knew right then that she couldn’t afford to lose, even if her family ended up dead. And that meant that she had to learn to be smarter then this nut job.

And lo and behold, it worked. It worked like a charm.

Dean had no clue in his brain what she had in store for him when he would come barging in, guns blazing. She wasn’t stupid, it was so obvious just from the tone of his voice that he was coming. Coming to her. That’s what she had intended all along; there was no way anyone was getting out of here alive. Once she had escaped the foster care home she had been put into after the murder of her family…or better yet, after she had killed them…there was only one goal on her plate and that was little Sammy, as Dean liked to call him.

Missy closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair in her family’s living room, her mind wandering again towards her two hostages back in the barn. It had been way too easy last time when Dean had come to rescue Sam from the cage they had him in, this time however, she couldn’t be prouder of herself. Things were different this time around. No offense to her beloved, departed family, of course, but she was better then they had ever been and she was going to prove it to those three monsters.

The young woman tucked a strand of wavy, red hair behind her ear and opened her eyes, grabbing the poker off the floor she had used a few weeks on Sam Winchester. She grinned mischievously as she turned it over in her hands, remembering the older man’s screams of agony as she seared the surface of his eyes one by one; she had therefore completed what her family had attempted to do to Dean all those years ago. And Sam’s cries were worth it, the cop’s screams for her to stop were worth it, too, and of course, Dean’s pain when he got here would be worth it.

0000

On any normal day, the last thing Dean Winchester would ever consider doing was doing this. If there was any other option, if there was anyone else he could count on to watch his back on getting Sammy back, he would not be doing this. But he had no choice in the matter, all of his and Sam’s friends were dead or stuck in Purgatory; in other words, Bobby was dead…

Dean sucked in a shaky breath as he remembered Bobby’s flask burning right before they had ganked Dick Roman; he remembered the man he and Sam thought of as a father, his spirit disappearing in flames at his request. Dean briefly closed his eyes and shook his head, Bobby would’ve been able to help, no question about it. He had all the knowledge of any skilled hunter, but now that he, Ellen, Jo, Rufus-all of them-were gone, that left him with one other hunter he did NOT want to call.

No way in hell.

But he had helped a couple of times before, he was man enough to admit that; just because the kid happened to be a bigger nerd then his brother…

Dean shoved the possible imaged of Sammy tied up, trapped somewhere, crying out to him, out of his head; whoever that woman on Sam’s phone was, she couldn’t hurt his baby brother so badly that Dean couldn’t fix it. Sam was worth this, his brother had sacrificed his life and his sanity to safe the entire God-forsaken world, the least he could do was shove his own pride aside and call this nerd. With a small sigh, he reached into his pocket of his jacket for his phone. With one eye on the never ending stretch of road, the older Winchester rapidly dialed the number in and waited as the annoying ring tone sounded in his ear before the other person picked up and spoke.

“Dean? That you?”

Dean sighed loudly and put aside all of his pride for the time being and replied,  
“Yes, Garth, it’s me; I need your help.”

0000

Sam swallowed the last mouthful of food from Jody’s plate and pushed it away; no doubt about it, it really did taste like slop. But after not having eaten in days, his sensitive stomach welcomed it,  
“Thanks, Sheriff,” He weakly spoke, grabbing the plate and waiting until Jody maneuvered it through the bars and back into her cage.

“For the last time, Sam, it’s Jody. If I had just met you, then you can use ‘sheriff’, but call me Jody, Sam, alright?” She firmly acknowledged,  
“How are your eyes feeling?”

Sam shook his head with a quiet sigh, leaning forward and resting his head against the side of the cage facing Jody, wrapping his fingers around the bars. All the while he never opened his eyes, as every time he did it, it was too painful and he already knew he would not be able to see anything.

Jody knew the answer to her question just by her friend’s silence,  
“We have to figure out some way to get out of here-“

“We’ve tried all options, remember?” Sam interrupted, his body suddenly lurching forward as he coughed loudly, the food he had just digested suddenly wanting to come back up. Forcing it to remain where it was, the younger man continued in a shaky voice,  
“Every single time we attempted an escape, she found us…and the last time was when she used the poker on me…”

Jody’s heart broke all over again and she lowered her eyes to the floor, unsure what to say to that logic. She knew he was right, but how in the world could they have both been beaten up and caged all this time by some kid who was no older then 21? Sam was an experienced hunter and she was a cop, they both had long-time experience taking down monsters of all kinds, whether it be humans or demons, and Sam himself had been kidnapped by this very family years ago and had made it out intact. What had changed?

Before the sheriff had time to process it any further, she heard the door to the barn scrape open and in walked a familiar figure. Jody’s heart leapt into her throat as she reached for Sam’s hand and squeezed it tightly, leaning forward as she far as she could go,  
“She’s here, Sam.”

0000

“Is there anybody you could think of from your past that would want to retaliate and try and hurt Sam to get revenge?” Garth was saying as he road in the passenger seat of the Impala, his hands clenching the seat as Dean drove way over the speed limit down the road.

“You have any idea just how long that list would be?” Dean snapped in annoyance, rolling his eyes to the ceiling of the car,  
“Demons and angels alike all want to kill us, as well as some hunters of our own kind! The list goes on forever, Garth…”

“Just sayin’,” Garth shrugged his shoulders,  
“You said it was a woman who called?”

“Right.”

Before Garth had time to ask his next question, Dean’s phone started ringing in his pocket. With a frown, he pulled the cell phone out and glanced quickly at the caller ID,  
“Shit.” He growled, ignoring Garth’s confused look as he flipped the phone open,  
“Who the hell is this?”

“That’s not important now, is it, Dean?”

With a growl, Dean moved the phone away from his earl real quick and hit the speaker button, setting the phone in between the seats of the Impala. The older Winchester nodded his head briefly at his passenger and raised his voice,  
“You gonna tell me where the hell my brother is or am I gonna have to force it out of you, you bitch?” He demanded, his fury rising as the caller just laughed on the other line.

“Now, that’s not so nice, is it?” She replied sarcastically,  
“Is that the way to speak to someone who literally has his brother’s life in her hands, honey?”

“Who the hell are you!” Dean snapped heatedly, causing Garth to jump slightly next to him.

“I’m sure Sammy could tell you, for sure-“

“Who ARE you?”

Ignoring the fury and rage in the older brother’s voice, the caller’s voice grew quieter over the phone and Dean hit the heel of his hand against the car’s steering wheel, muttering a silent apology to Baby as he did it. He’d make it up to her later, he knew she would understand his reaction,  
“Goddamn it…”

Just then, as Dean was about ready to shout out to this woman again, her voice rose a notch in his ear and he glared angrily at the road as he listened.

“How would you like to speak to your big brother, Sammy?”

“Stop calling me that…”

Dean’s eyebrows rose a notch as he recognized the voice and, ignoring the fact his brother couldn’t hear him, his big brother instinct kicked in again and he muttered quietly,  
“Sammy?”

The woman had obviously ignored Sam’s demand as she continued talking,  
“You would like your big brother to come and save you, don’t you, Sammy?”

“Go to hell.”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk,” She muttered, her voice not getting any louder,  
“That’s not really nice now, is it?”

“Leave him alone, you sick bitch!” Another voice piped up and Dean’s eyebrows rose even further above his hairline as he recognized that second voice as well.

“Sheriff Mills?” He questioned to himself. Even though he was still terrified, it at least made him feel somewhat better knowing his little brother was not alone in this. He had someone he could trust with him, someone who he knew wouldn’t betray him.

Dean and Garth continued to listen intently as they listened to footsteps and the woman’s voice suddenly rising again,  
“And I’m going to tell you one more time to shut that hole you people like to call a mouth.” She growled and Jody snapped her mouth shut. Dean’s heart thumped loudly in his chest as she directed her attention once again to his brother,  
“Now, Sam, you say your brother is dead, right?”

“None of your business.”

Dean bit his lip hard until he tasted blood at the sound of Sam’s voice; just from where he was, he could tell his little brother was in pain, she had hurt him somehow and what was this talk about him thinking he was dead? 

“Aww, Sam, I’m shocked,” The caller mocked as she seemed to be moving closer to Sam,  
“Because I’ve got your dear ol’ big brother on the phone and I thought you’d like to say ‘hi’. You know, tell him how much fun we’re having, tell him how my revenge is almost complete, that sort of thing.”

Silence drifted between them and the next words out of Sam’s mouth were choked by tears,  
“You’re lying…”

“Am I?” 

Dean couldn’t help himself and with a raise of his voice, shouted into the earpiece,  
“Sammy!”

A choked sob could be heard some way away and Sam’s voice sounded again, only this time directed towards him,  
“D-Dean…?”

“Sammy! I’m coming, little bro, I’m coming,” He talked quickly, trying to keep his emotions under control. He didn’t know the shape Sam was in at the moment, so he had to be strong for him,  
“Who has you?”

“Now, I’d say that’s enough, don’t you?” The caller came back on the line, a smile showing plainly in her voice,  
“You don’t need to hear anymore-“

“What are you doing to my brother?” He demanded with a roar,  
“If you don’t tell me-“

“Patience, Dean, patience,” She interrupted, the smile never leaving her voice,  
“You want little Sammy here to live, don’t you?” Footsteps sounded as she seemed to be walking away from wherever she held Sam and before she got too far, Dean heard his brother’s voice in the background as he shouted after her.

“It’s Missy Bender, Dean! Missy Bender!”

“Missy?” Dean frowned, his mind flashing back to years ago when his brother was abducted from a parking lot at a local bar. He remembered that little 13 year old girl who threatened to poke his eye out with a knife, the wild haired girl who the only way to control her was to finally lock her in a closet while he, Sam and Kathleen went after the crazy hillbilly family who had dared attack his brother. He did the math in his head, remembered where the call was being placed as he looked it up on his GPS and remembered hearing the talk of revenge. As it all clicked into place, Dean shook his head as he growled angrily,  
“Shit!”

Before he could question his brother any further, Dean’s heart leapt into his throat as he listened to Missy’s footsteps approaching Sam again and he held his breath as words were he couldn’t make out where exchanged between the two. What he wasn’t prepared for, though, was the sudden screams drifting into his ear on the other end of the phone.

0000

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sam couldn’t breathe as he heard the familiar voice coming from the earpiece on his cell phone, hardly daring to believe that it was indeed his brother. When did he ever get lucky? Bad luck followed him around everywhere he went. This couldn’t be his brother…but what if it was? 

“D-Dean?” He choked out, scooting over to where he remembered the cage door was and to where Missy was standing. He blindly grabbed the bars with one hand and reached through with the other, pressing his face against the cage door as he attempted to find out how close Missy was standing. She appeared the be standing closer then he had expected and just as his fingers brushed against his phone, he felt her slap his hand away and push him back.

“Sammy! I’m coming, little bro, I’m coming,” Dean’s voice once again sounded through the earpiece and Sam forced himself not to sob at just hearing his brother call him that again,  
“Who has you?”

Before the younger brother had a moment to reply, Missy interrupted in a mock sympathetic tone,  
“Now, I’d say that’s enough, don’t you? You don’t need to hear anymore-“ She was interrupted suddenly as Sam could hear Dean yelling through the phone. Missy continued in the same tone she used before,  
“Patience, Dean, patience. You want little Sammy here to live, don’t you?” 

The next thing Sam heard was the sound of footsteps walking away and towards the barn door, and Jody’s whisper of “She’s leaving” caused him to raise his voice so his brother could hear him, not thinking of the consequences of that one choice,  
“It’s Missy Bender, Dean! It’s Missy Bender!”

Although Sam knew that he couldn’t see squat, he did however hear Jody suck in a sharp breath from behind him and the footsteps stopped before they started up again. Before Sam had time to think of what was about to happen, he heard the sound of the lock on the door to his cage being turned and the door creaking open. Scooting back further until his back pressed up against the metal bars, the feel of Jody’s hand on his trying to be a silent comfort, Sam’s breath caught in his throat as a voice whispered dangerously into his ear.

“I knew you and your brother were dumb, Sam, but I didn’t realize you were that dumb.” She paused briefly before continuing,  
“And that, my friend, was the dumbest mistake you’ve ever made.” Before either Jody or Sam could reply, the next thing Sam felt was a sharp, agonizing pain in his side. He was unable to stop the sharp gasp from leaving his lips as he pressed his hands against the side, recognizing the warm blood flowing from him; he knew instantly that he had just been stabbed. He felt himself going lightheaded and the last thing he heard before he passed out was Jody screaming his name and Dean’s voice just before Missy snapped the phone shut.

0000

“You little bitch!” Jody screamed as she saw the young woman walking towards her. Her hand remained on Sam’s even after it went limp and her breath caught in her throat as she watched Missy unlock the door to her cage and step inside,  
“Get away from me-“

“I thought you wanted out, Sheriff,” Missy mocked as she grabbed Jody by the elbow and gave a hard pull. 

The older woman glared angrily as she attempted to pull her arm out of her grasp and briefly succeeded in doing so. As she looked around her surroundings, attempting to look for something to defend herself with, her eye suddenly caught her gun which had been kicked a few feet away from the cages. Jody remembered plainly when she and Sam had made their last attempted escape before her friend had lost his sight, she had her pistol out and ready, but unfortunately, Missy had seemed to know she what she was going to do. Trying to keep her eyes away from the gun on the floor, Jody glanced worriedly over at Sam’s still form and then back over to their approaching captor. This time, she allowed her arm to be grabbed and dragged out; but as she got closer to the door, Jody’s eyes darkened in anger as she lifted her foot and brought it forward in a hard kick, her ankle curling around Missy’s and bringing them both tumbling to the ground. Taking advantage of this perfect opportunity, Jody moved until she was standing right over the younger girl and fumbled around for the handcuffs she knew were in Missy’s pockets.

“Yahtzee!” She cried out with joy, quickly moving Missy’s arms behind her back and snapping the cuffs onto her wrists,  
“You thought you were so smart, didn’t you, honey? Sorry to tell you this, but…don’t fuck with a cop!” She hooked her arm under Missy’s elbow and brought her to her feet, while with her other hand she dug around for the keys to Sam’s cage,  
“You know, you thought you thought over everything, but you really should stash the keys somewhere safer.” She grabbed both sets of keys, and Sam’s cell phone, and with a hard push, shoved the younger girl into her own cage, slamming the door shut and locking it.

Satisfied for the time being, but all the while knowing they weren’t out of danger yet, Jody hurried over to where her gun lay and tucked it into her waistband. As she was moving over to where Sam was still unconscious, she began shrugging out of the overshirt she was wearing until she was clad only in a white tee. Fumbling with the right keys, she clumsily unlocked the door to Sam’s cage and hurried over to where he was laying perfectly still. It scared her to know that he hadn’t moved a muscle since he had fallen into unconsciousness and his hands were drenched in blood from where they were pressing against the wound.

“Oh God, hold on, sweetie. Just hold on for me,” She whispered, ignoring Missy’s growls of rage from the cage next to them as she attempted to ram her feet against the door with no luck. She moved the younger man’s hands gently away from the wound and grimaced at the sight; the knife wound was real ugly, it had sliced right into his side, but it didn’t appear to be too deep from her vantage point. She grabbed the shirt she had tossed to the ground and pressed it against his side, holding it there. Her gaze travelled up to Sam’s face and she gently pressed two fingers against his throat, checking for a pulse.

Thankfully, after some waiting that felt like forever, she was able to make out the heartbeat and she released her breath she didn’t know she was holding in,  
“Okay. Okay…” With a careful hand, she moved her hand to Sam’s shoulder and shook him gently,  
“Sam? Sam, can you hear me?”

Silence greeted her for the next few minutes, and Jody shook him again, only this time a soft groan greeted her as Sam painfully opened his eyes. She watched as he cringed at the eye movement and shut them again, turning his head until he pressed it against the bars.

“Sam, say something,” Jody demanded, her eyes never leaving Sam’s face.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_m15sxrfI3m1qjo7v5o1_400_zps22270978.jpg.html)

Sam cringed in pain as he uttered a painful, “Ow…”

“Yeah, I thought so, honey,” She nodded her head as she pressed down harder on his side,  
“Can you bring your hand back up to press against this? We need to get you out of here before…” She stopped suddenly as she looked at the other cage and what greeted her was her own worst nightmare,  
“Oh shit.”

It was empty.

0000

Dean was nearly going 100 miles an hour as he pressed his foot harder against the gas pedal, ignoring Garth’s objections for him to slow down. He was not slowing down, the last thing he had heard were screams on the other end of the phone and the line going dead. He didn’t know what the hell was happening, but he knew it involved Sam and for that reason alone, he was going to get to Minnesota before he even thought of stopping for rest. 

After knowing that Dean wasn’t messing around and that he was dead serious, Garth appeared to have given up and had decided to catch whatever shut eye he could, telling Dean to “Wake him when we get there.”

Dean’s eyes narrowed at the road ahead, turning on the windshield wipers as the rain started to pick up outside. It was getting pretty dark outside as well, and normally, this would have been his and Sam’s cue to pull over in a motel for the night, but that wasn’t happening tonight.

He wasn’t sleeping until Sammy was sitting in the passenger seat next to him, that was all there was to it.

0000

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

“Stay with me, Sam!” Jody urged desperately as she moved the younger boy’s hand to where she had wrapped the makeshift bandage around him,  
“Hold that there, honey, okay?” Seeing him nod his head painfully, Jody rose to her feet, frowning, and pulled her gun out. Her heart racing, she maneuvered out of the cage and moved closer to where she had just moments ago put Missy Bender. How in the world had she managed to escape without her seeing?

Keeping one eye on Sam and the other aimed at the empty cage, Jody moved closer and looked inside, sucking in a sharp breath. There, right in front of her, where the set of handcuffs laying on the floor and a small trap door she had never once noticed in all the time she had been there was opened wide,  
“The little monster…” She grumbled to herself, feeling herself shaking with fury as she mentally kicked herself for not paying more attention to what Missy was doing.

“Jody? What…what is it?” Sam uttered painfully from where he still sat.

“She’s gone, Sam,” Jody replied, tucking her gun back to where to was as she rushed back to Sam’s side,  
“The little bitch got away without me noticing…”

Sam groaned and shook his head,  
“She must be smarter…then we gave her…credit for…” He moaned as a wave of pain washed over him and he doubled over, his bloody hands still clutching the shirt wrapped around his midsection,  
“Oh God…”

“Okay, we have to get out of here now,” Jody pushed aside her worries about Missy’s whereabouts for the time being and kneeled down to hook an arm carefully around Sam’s waist,  
“You ready for this, Sam?”

Keeping his eyes closed tightly, Sam draped his right arm over Jody’s shoulders and allowed her to pull on him,  
“I have…I have to be…”

“You’ll be okay, sweetie, alright?” His friend whispered soothingly into his ear as she led their way out of the small cage,  
“Just let me do the guiding.” Making sure her grip around Sam’s waist was secure, Jody reached up and gripped the hand that was wrapped around her shoulders. She waited until Sam weakly nodded his head in reply before she guided him all of the way out of the cage,  
“Watch your head, alright? That’s it…”

“I-I think I’m gonna be sick…” Sam mumbled from beside her as they stumbled across the floor slowly and towards the barn door.

“No, you’re not,” Jody admonished firmly, determination etched plainly in her voice,  
“You’re not getting sick, you’re gonna be okay and you’re gonna make it home to Dean. Think of your brother, Sam, think of Dean right now, alright? He’s on his way.”

“I know,” Sam choked out, just the very thought of his beloved older brother making him want to sob with relief. But at the same time…at the same time, he wouldn’t be able to see him, he would never be able to literally see Dean again unless there was some miracle for his eyes. Shoving back the tears that stubbornly wanted to fall, Sam plastered his brave face back on as he continued to lean on Jody’s arm for support,  
“I know,” He repeated, his voice steadier this time.

“Thata boy,” Jody smiled gently as if she was praising one of her own sons. 

As they finally reached the door to the barn, Jody released her hold on Sam’s hand and, with a final look around them, shoved the barn yard door open as quietly as possible. Just as she was about to step out, nothing could have prepared either of them for the figure that jumped out at them at the doorway and the gun aiming right at them. Before Jody could even think about reaching for her own pistol however, she watched as if in slow motion the gun colliding with her skull and sending her crashing to the ground. 

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/mqdefault_zps9c548b07.jpg.html)

0000

“Why are we parking here?”

Garth’s question couldn’t have come at the worst time as Dean slammed the door to the Impala and narrowed his eyes at his passenger,  
“Unless you want to be eaten alive by these sons of bitches, you’ll be smart and park a few blocks away from their house.” He impatiently threw his hands up in the air as he saw Garth open about to ask another question,  
“Just trust me on this, okay? I’m not risking Sam’s safety on this!”

Garth snapped his mouth shut and mutely nodded in agreement, pulling his gun out from his waistband and following Dean down the deserted road. As they walked in silence, Dean’s heart began to race even faster as they got closer and closer to their destination. He hadn’t seen his little brother in over a year and to think that while he was gone, and unable to protect him, some hillbilly bitch from years ago decided to do the one thing on the Dean’s “Do or die” list: She touched his brother. And not just that, but she HURT his brother. That was going to require a killing for sure; if only he had done it when he had the chance 8 years ago…

Dean shook his head in silence as he remembered that little girl who had nearly carved his eye out with a knife. He had given her the benefit of the doubt that time, considering her age, and figured it was in her best interest at the time to just lock her in a closet. Not anymore, she was no longer a kid; she knew what she was doing this time and this time, Missy would pay.

Seeing the house up ahead, rage flowed through the older Winchester’s being as memories washed over him. Turning back behind him to Garth, Dean brought a finger to his lips and waved him farther over to a bunch of bushes and the two hunters cowered down below, but kept a critical eye on the house just a few feet away.

“So what’s the plan, Stan?” Garth whispered, squinting up ahead at the large, run-down house and the large barn next door. The entire yard was overgrown with weeds and the house was so run-down looking, it seemed absolutely impossible that any living human would live in it. But if Dean said this was where his brother was…

Before Dean had a chance to reply, their attention was suddenly drawn to a figure up ahead who appeared to be dragging a limp body from the barn. From their vantage point, it looked to be a female, an older female; the one doing the dragging was smaller, but she appeared to have no trouble doing the task. Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he recognized the limp body as none other then Sheriff Jody Mills.

“God damn her…” He hissed as he watched Missy drag his unconscious friend towards the door to her house and shut the door.

“You know her?” 

“Yes,” Dean growled in anger, but refused to let this stop his mission of getting to Sammy. He would save Jody later, but right now, he needed to get to his brother,  
“Forget the plan-“

“There never was one, Dean-“

“Shut up, for one second, would you?” Dean snapped, glaring over his shoulder at the other hunter. He then turned back around towards the house, making sure Missy wasn’t coming back out, and stepped out of the brush, gesturing for Garth to follow him,  
“Go and keep an eye on Jody in there,” He demanded, pointing to the house,  
“I’m getting my brother.”

“What about backup?” Garth whispered, really starting to feel anxious now that they were here,  
“Dean-“

“Garth, I’ll be right back, just don’t shoot her yet; she’s mine,” Dean replied quietly, already heading towards the barn where he was certain his little brother was,  
“And stay out of her watch, just keep an eye on her.”

Garth let out a nervous breath and nodded, waiting until Dean’s back disappeared into the barn before quietly making his way up the porch steps of the run-down house.

0000

Sam groaned in agony as he shifted, wondering what in the world had just happened. He vaguely remembered himself and Jody making their way out of the barn, making their way to safety-to Dean-when suddenly…suddenly, that’s where his memories were a bit foggy. The younger Winchester pushed himself up to a sitting position and tried opening his eyes again, but was only rewarded with a sharp, stinging pain in them as well as total blackness.

Figured.

Sam rubbed his forehead and felt a large bump forming on the side of his head and soon, all memories came flooding back. He remembered it clearly now…Missy. It was always Missy. After she had pulled her disappearing act on them after he was stabbed, she had surprised Jody and himself when she had jumped out at them at the entrance to the barn door and hitting them both over the head with had felt like a gun. He groaned and continued rubbing his sensitive head, already feeling a headache coming on full force.

But where was he now? And where in the world was Jody?

This was one of the worst things about being blind, besides the never ending darkness: The not knowing if anyone was with you or if you were completely alone. He knew Jody’s routine over the time since he lost his sight, she would always make some sort of physical contact with him, whether it be hand or shoulder, just to let him know she was there and wasn’t leaving him behind. If Dean wasn’t there with him, Jody’s comfort was a warm relief despite their situation. 

But she wasn’t here now…wherever here was.

Sam felt a pull to his side and blindly moved his hand down to his side where he had been stabbed and now felt a large bandage covering his side, Jody’s shirt no longer there. He recognized that familiar pull as stitches. But why in the world would Missy had stitched him up? Why even bother stabbing him in the first place if she was only going to bandage him up later?

“Typical,” He muttered to himself as realization set in. She didn’t stab him to kill him, she stabbed him so that he could feel all the pain; she did it knowing that he wouldn’t die and she wouldn’t allow it yet. 

Sam brought his hands up and felt his way around and soon found the all-too familiar feel of the bars caging him again,  
“No, no, not again…” He growled to himself, reaching forward grabbing the bars of the cage firmly and rattling them,  
“Jody!”

Nothing.

“Jody!” He cried out again, desperation starting to take a hold of him. What had Missy done with Jody?

Still gripping the bars with shaking hands, Sam descended all the way to his knees and lowered his head; now that he was alone, now that there was nobody there to see, he allowed the tears threatening his eyes to escape and cascade down his face.

A few minutes later, Sam jerked his head up as he heard the familiar squeak of the barn door opening and he thought for sure he was going to throw up. Before Sam had time to open his mouth to say anything, however, a voice he hadn’t heard in over a year sounded from in front of him,  
“Sammy?”

0000

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I normally don’t do only one scene for an entire chapter, but I couldn’t resist this time. I was really looking forward to writing this scene and didn’t want anything else to take away from the brother’s reunion. Don’t worry though, the action will pick up in the next chapters, but for now…

Chapter 5

As Dean entered the barn, the familiarity of it sent shivers up his spine as he recalled the last time he was here to find his brother. That time seemed like so long ago, but Dean remembered it like it was yesterday; he remembered taking in the sight of it all and the quietness, and then seeing his brother, locked up like some animal. No matter how many times he remembered that day, and the fear he felt, it didn’t even compare to the fear he felt now.

No matter how much he knew he had changed since he had escaped from Purgatory, the older Winchester knew that there was one thing that hadn’t changed, and that was how he felt for his little brother. Sam was still his week spot, always had been and always would be and he would gladly kill for him.

And if Missy Bender had so much had hurt him, and he knew that she did, Dean couldn’t wait to put her head on a platter. Human or not, she was an animal, she was a monster; no human would do this type of thing to another human. 

As he closed the door behind him quietly, Dean looked around him just like he had all those years ago when he heard a sound off to his left. Turning, yet keeping an eye an anything that moved besides him, Dean suddenly felt himself stop breathing for a few seconds as his gaze came upon him. Sammy. His Sammy. Forcing back tears that threatened his eyes at the sight of his brother locked up in a metal cage, different then the one from before, he noticed that Sam was kneeling down on the side of the cage facing him, his hands shaking as they clutched the bars as he looked around wildly as if he heard something but couldn’t see it. What stood out though, was the fact that his brother’s hazel eyes were closed and he looked to be in intense pain; it was as if he couldn’t see him enter at all, he could only hear him and he was searching for him. 

“Sammy?” He uttered softly, not wanting to startle Sam in case his suspicions were indeed true. Rushing forward, Dean dropped to his knees in front of the cage and reached through the bars, cupping his little brother’s face in his hands, trying to get his attention,  
“Sammy, I’m here, tiger; I’m here.”

Dean watched as his brother’s face seemed to take on all sorts of different emotions: Fear, confusion, anger, sadness, before it finally settled on relief. The older brother kept his hands on Sam’s cheeks, feeling the wetness of his tears, and waited until Sam had moved one of his hands to feel around for him. His hand finally landed on Dean’s where it was cupping his cheek and for the first time since he saw him, he watched as Sam slowly attempted to open his eyes.

“D-Dean…” Sam uttered weakly, painfully, as his hazel eyes opened. But they soon snapped shut at just the effort, but Dean had seen enough. He sucked in a sharp breath as he saw that his brother’s eyes were no longer the usual hazel color they’d always been; no, his eyes were all red and it looked like they had been burned and charred. They looked like somebody had purposely set fire to them…

Dean’s thoughts went once again to Missy and how much he would enjoy making her suffer before he killed her. But before he could think more on that subject, the most important topic at hand was his brother’s condition,  
“It’s really me, kiddo,” He quietly replied, feeling his voice choke up as he spoke, keeping his hands on his brother to let him know he was there and he wasn’t going anywhere,  
“You’re safe now, Sammy, okay?”

“I-I thought…”

“I know,” Dean finished, knowing exactly what Sam was about to say,  
“But I’m alive, tiger, okay? Your big brother’s here and she can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Dean…Are you…okay?” Sam’s grip on Dean’s hand tightened, as if he didn’t want to let go.

Knowing that his brother couldn’t see the tears that were falling from his eyes, Dean bit his lip and shook his head,  
“I’m alright, Sam, you don’t worry about me, okay? That’s out of your hands.”

“I can’t see, Dean…” Sam cringed at the pain in his eyes and in his side, and everywhere else she had hurt him over the months he had been held prisoner here. Pushing most of it all to the back of his mind yet again, Sam continued,  
“She blinded me…with the poker…”

Dean was already making plans of how to make Missy Bender suffer, but as his little brother spoke those few words, what she had done to his sight, the older Winchester had to push down the roar that wanted to come up and out of his throat. Sam didn’t need that, he was scared and hurting enough as it was, he didn’t need Dean yelling right in his face, especially when he couldn’t see it. With the hand that Sam wasn’t holding, Dean reached further and ran his fingers through his brother’s long hair, tangling it in his fingers as he did so,  
“She’ll die for this, Sammy, I promise you that.” He promised,  
“She won’t get away with it.” Rage leaked into his voice and he silently cursed himself as he watched Sam flinch slightly away from him,  
“Sam, Sam, it’s alright. It’s alright.”

Sam slowly felt his hammering heart slowly quiet down as he allowed himself once again to lean into Dean’s hand, savoring the feel and the familiar smell that was all Dean. No matter what his brother did, he always had that familiar smell that said that he was home, it was something that Sam didn’t have to even see to know was there. One hand still gripping the bars and the other clutching his brother’s hand tightly, Sam allowed himself to lean once again into his brother’s hands. As Dean threaded his fingers through his too-long hair, Sam leaned forward against the cage door and rested his head against the bars again,  
“Help me…?”

“You know I will,” Dean whispered gently in the tone he reserved only for Sammy. With a gentleness he rarely ever used, and an action he hadn’t done since Sam was a baby, Dean leaned forward through the bars and pressed a gentle kiss on his brother’s forehead before their heads touched again,  
“We’re going to get you out of his hell hole, Sammy; I promise you. Even if I have to kick the door down, I’m gonna get you out.” With a final stroke of Sam’s hair, Dean finally released him and backed away temporarily so he could examine the front of the cage, much like he had done 8 years ago,  
“How long ago did she do this to your eyes, Sammy?”

“About a month of two ago,” Sam replied weakly, following his brother’s voice with his head.

“Do you remember if this thing has the same kind of lock system as the last one?”

“It’s different, more complicated,” Sam replied, exhaustion leaking into his voice,  
“She has a combination she uses for mine…Jody’s was different…” He nodded over to the empty cage beside his as he spoke,  
“I don’t know how…”

“I’ll figure it out, kiddo, don’t worry,” Dean grumbled, squatting down once again as he took in the tricky lock combination,  
“Man, this sucks…”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/wmplayer202006-02-152021-10-20-28_zps2c08bde0.jpg.html)

Sam didn’t reply, no words were necessary to know what was the understatement of the century. Everything that had happened in the last year sucked, some worse then others; but his brother didn’t need to know that yet…Sam was already so numb from everything Missy had done to him, he knew if he let himself release every emotion, he’d never stop crying.

Casting a worried glance his brother’s way, watching as he swiped at the tears leaking from his closed, damaged eyes, Dean’s stomach churned with rage again. There was so much his brother wasn’t telling him, he knew that; he could read Sam like a book, and right now, all he saw was agony and a pain hidden so deep within him. Dean bit his lip hard as he focused once again on the combination, punching in random keys one by one, cursing every time it declined. Forcing himself not to scream and throw a fit, Dean continued with a determined patience; who knew how long his brother had been locked in here, he had to get him out and he had to get him out now!

Suddenly, a click was heard and Dean’s eyes widened with joy and relief as the cage door opened. Not wasting anymore time, the older Winchester hurried forward, ducking underneath the door, and knelt down in front of his brother. With a careful hand, he rested his right hand on the back of Sam’s neck and urged,  
“C’mere, Sam.”

Sam felt a tiny portion of the dam inside of him burst open at those simple words and with a quiet sob, leaned forward until he felt his brother’s shoulder against his cheek. His entire body shook as he felt the strong arms of Dean wrap around his shoulders and pull him tightly to him and Sam didn’t waste anymore time wrapping his arms around his brother’s waist, clutching him like he did when he was a child after having woken up from a nightmare.

“Dean…” He quietly cried, not releasing his hold on his brother and relieved when Dean didn’t seem too eager to release him. As he felt the gentle hand in his hair once again, Sam buried his face in his brother’s shoulder, slowly starting to remember what his brother’s comfort felt like.

0000

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Dean didn’t say a word as he continued to rock his brother in his arms, Sam’s face pressed up against his shoulder as his entire body trembled with grief and fear. With a soft sigh, the older brother lifted a hand and carded his fingers through Sam’s dirty, wavy hair and leaned his head down to press a kiss on top of his head. His heart broke into pieces as Sam’s sobs seemed to grow stronger at just that simple action,  
“I gotcha, kiddo,” Dean murmured into Sam’s ear, tightening his arms around his little brother’s shoulders. Sucking in a deep breath, Dean, being careful how he worded his question, whispered,  
“What else did she do to you, Sammy?”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/54395107969626635_4xFSSzZe_c_zps0de8e0db.jpg.html)

In reply, Sam only shook his head against Dean’s shoulder and tightened his arms around his waist. Dean let out a deep breath and asked instead,  
“How long did she keep you in here…?”

Silence one again filled the cage where they were still seated and Dean almost thought for a moment that Sam wasn’t going to answer that either; but just as he was about to let his brother be for the time being, Sam uttered quietly, his voice barely audible,  
“10 months…She had both Jody and I for…10 months…”

“Okay,” Dean wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that, what he was supposed to make of that. But he did know that he wasn’t going to push Sam even further at the moment, right now, he needed to get Sam out of here and rescue Sheriff Mills. And then get his brother to a hospital,  
“I won’t push, Sammy,” He continued softly, feeling Sam slowly start to release his hold on him, his head still down and his long hair partially covering his eyes,  
“But you do know I’m taking you to a hospital, right?” At Sam’s nod, Dean gently cupped his brother’s face in his hands and lifted his head, getting a much closer look now at Sam’s damaged eyes,  
“Think you can open your eyes a little bit for me, bro? I need to take a look-“

“It hurts too much, Dean,” Sam interrupted with a shake of his head,  
“Every time I do, it’s like…it’s like she’s doing it all over again…”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/SPN_0992_zps1714143d.jpg.html)

With a soft sigh of acceptance, not wanting his brother to be in anymore pain, Dean nodded and gently brushed strands of long hair out of Sam’s face,  
“Okay, alright, we’ll let the pros deal with that part, alright?” He carefully brushed a stray tear away from his brother’s cheek with his thumb,  
“You’re gonna be alright, no matter what happens, okay, Sam? I promise you that. Have I ever broken a promise?”

Choking on a sob that tried to escape his throat, Sam shook his head,  
“No.”

“Alright then,” With that, Dean released his hold on his brother to shrug out of the jacket he was wearing and draped it over Sam’s shoulders, really noticing now how much weight Sam appeared to have last in the last year. Was this all because of Missy or did that start after he was zapped to Purgatory? Instead of his jacket being a bit smaller on him, this time, it almost fit him and was in fact a bit big. Dean chose not to comment on the fact as he slipped his brother’s trembling arms through the sleeves and zipped it up,  
“That good?”

Feeling warm for the first time in the last 10 months, Sam slowly felt the shivering subside and he wrapped his arms around himself,  
“Thanks, Dean…”

“Don’t you do that,” Dean admonished gently, smoothing out the wrinkles in the jacket and straitening the collar,  
“You don’t thank me for this, okay?” Not getting a reply from his brother, Dean’s eyes skimmed his brother’s body once again and his eyes finally landed on the blood stain on Sam’s shirt. Without a word, Dean’s eyes narrowed dangerously at the rip in his brother’s tee shirt and slowly reached out,  
“Sammy, what’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“THIS,” Dean repeated, grabbing Sam’s shirt and carefully lifting it just enough to see the bandage wrapped around Sam’s midsection, blood seeping through both the bandage and the shirt,  
“That bitch will die tonight,” He growled to himself, almost forgetting at the moment that Sam couldn’t see either what he was looking at or the expression on his face. So when his brother suddenly jerked from his reach quickly and banged back up against the bars of the cage, his face changing from one of relief and contentment to one of outright fear and terror…terror that was now directed his way.

“Sammy! Sammy!” Dean rushed back to where his brother had scooted and reached towards his face again, noticing the trembling in his body all over again,  
“My God, what did she do to you…?”

“Dean...I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry for what, tiger?” Dean was so confused at the apology, if anyone needed to apologize, it was Dean, not Sam,  
“There’s nothing to be sorry for-“

“For everything,” Sam replied tearfully with a shake of his head, bring his hands up and running them through his long hair,  
“This. You dying. Coming to save me again. My sight…for everything, for ever being born…”

“What the hell?” Dean mumbled, the confusion now pouring over him. What the hell did Sam mean by that? And apologizing for being born? What brought all of this one? The older Winchester was struck almost speechless as he saw the seriousness in Sam’s face as he spoke, the fear and dread, and he found himself growing terrified of finding out just what Missy had put upon Sam in this last year,  
“Sammy…”

“I’m just so sorry…and that’s why I can’t…I can’t tell you everything that happened…Not yet, Dean, I’m sorry…” Sam brought his hands down to his lap and blindly attempted to turn to where he thought his brother was seated,  
“If I had only saved you…”

“No more of that, Sammy,” Dean jumped in finally, his voice firm and urgent,  
“It’s not your responsibility to look out for me, remember? I’m the big brother, I look out for you and that’s what I was supposed to do, but instead I got zapped to Purgatory. Sam, there was no way you could have predicted anything that’s happened, so none of it is your fault.”

Dean’s words didn’t appear to have any affect on Sam, besides the mention of Purgatory, and he watched as his brother allowed more tears to fall from his clenched, reddened eyes,  
“I’ll never see again, though…” He whispered,  
“Missy told me…I-I guess she did her research; I might even have to have my eyes removed…”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, kiddo,” Dean let more emotion seep into his voice as he moved to his brother’s non-injured side,  
“Right now, though, you need a doctor, we need to get Jody and Garth and then kill that bitch.” Wrapping an arm around Sam’s waist carefully, Dean brought his brother’s arm up over his shoulders and carefully pulled him to a standing position, making sure not to hit their heads on the top of the cage,  
“That’s it, that’s it.” With Dean leading the way, Sam allowed himself to be lead out of that cage and out the barn door.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/normal_014_zps9e788d96.jpg.html)

0000

Sheriff Mills glared in front of her and tested her hands once more, but the handcuffs cutting into her wrists were on tight and digging into her skin. Giving up once again, she shook her head and looked up at Missy Bender standing over her with a gun in her hand. Her gun. Ever since she had regained consciousness to find herself handcuffed to a chair in the living room with this madwoman waving a gun in front of her face, Jody knew she was done for and silently whispered an apology to Sam. Missy had most likely locked him back up in that God-forsaken cage, only this time, he was all alone.

Blind and alone. What could be crueler then that? Jody honestly couldn’t think of anything. But she was almost certain that was part of Missy’s point, much to Jody’s disgust.

“How did you get out?” Jody demanded, her eyes narrowed into daggers at the young woman.

“I know a few tricks,” Missy winked her way, turning towards the window and looking outside, as if she was expecting someone or something,  
“You don’t know this, but I had this all planned from the start, SHERIFF.” She sneered at the use of the last word,  
“I knew you were going to attempt it, I knew you wouldn’t find the trap door as it blended right in, and I knew you were going to help Sam escape. I knew it all! I needed all of you to be apart when Sammy’s big brother arrived to play search and rescue; he’s going to think he’ll be able to save both of you, but I know the truth. Nobody will be getting out of this house alive.”

“You sick-“

“They KILLED my FAMILY!” Missy roared, bringing her sneering face up close until she was nose to nose with Jody. Jody held her breath at the very smell of Missy’s, straightening her back and backing up as far as she would go in the chair,  
“Well, I’ll tell you what, Jody Mills. My family, especially my daddy, taught me everything I know and because of them, I’m the best hunter in the family, I’m the only living hunter in the family, and what I’m doing is in THEIR name!”

“You honestly think I’m so stupid that I’m going to let you think you’re going to win?” Jody chuckled, rolling her eyes even as her heart raced frantically with fear,  
“If you think I’m going to go down without so much as a cat fight…” She whistled,  
“I’ll do it, not to only save myself, but to save the Winchesters.” Jody huffed and glared into Missy’s eyes, her own eyes growing harder,  
“What you did to Sam is unforgiveable and unacceptable. Dean will find him, he will find me, and he will kill you.”

“A cop with an attitude, daddy dealt with one of those before he was killed, you know that?” Missy growled, standing up straight,  
“That’s why this is for him.” She squinted and pointed the gun directly in Jody’s face.

0000

Garth knew what was about to happen, he was in a good hiding spot and it didn’t look like Missy saw him; he did have his eyes directly on Sheriff Mills and for the briefest of moments, the young hunter thought for certain the cop saw him, but thankfully none of it was noticed by the wild haired girl waving the gun around.

“Where are you, Dean?” He mumbled to himself, glancing over his shoulder to see if the two brothers were making their way out of the barn yet. But nothing. With a nervous sigh, Garth turned his head back around just in time to see Missy get up close and personal with Jody, both of them nearly nose to nose.

“Cat fight,” He mumbled to himself with a shake of his head, turning back around. But this time, his widened as he saw two figures clumsily making their way towards him. Sam’s arm was draped over Dean’s shoulder while his brother clutched him to him tightly to keep him upright and walking. Garth squinted as they moved closer, taking in Sam and how different he looked the last time he saw his friend. What in the world had this Missy person put him through?

“Sam, are you alright?” He asked seriously, concern written all over his face as he saw that Sam never once opened his eyes or looked directly at him or Dean. Not getting an answer, Garth leaned forward and took some of the younger brother’s weight onto himself as he snaked his own arm around Sam’s waist to support him,  
“Dean, I don’t like the looks of what’s going on in there…”

Dean looked inside the window just as he saw Missy and Jody going at it with words that he couldn’t hear, but he knew were heated and he had to chuckle this time. Jody may be a cop, but when it came to monsters like Missy, even if they were born human, the woman had a toughness about her; you did not want to get on her bad side, but you were always considered lucky if you had her for a motherly companion. She was almost like a female version of Bobby…

The older brother looked up at his little brother, swaying in between him and Garth, and then turned his attention quickly to the nerdy hunter on Sam’s other side,  
“Garth, I’m going to chose to trust you right now, and if you mess it up, don’t be surprised if I kill you right along with Missy Bender.” He glared seriously into Garth’s eyes, pleased when he saw fear in them,  
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” With that, Dean reluctantly lowered out from under Sam’s arm but kept a hand on his back,  
“You stay with Sam, don’t come in here with him, don’t let him get hurt. And protect him like I protect him.” Still maintaining physical contact with his little brother, Dean laid his other hand on Sam’s arm and squeezed carefully,  
“I’ll be right back, Sammy, I promise.”

“Dean…” Sam pleaded, his voice cracking,  
“Don’t…”

“I’ll be okay, Garth won’t let anything happen to you, I swear,” Shooting one more look inside the house and seeing Missy point the gun directly at Jody’s head, Dean dug into his the jacket he had draped around Sam and pulled out the Colt. Without hesitation, he handed it to Garth,  
“Take this. If ANYTHING comes near you that isn’t me, shoot it.” With one last look at his baby brother, whose life he was putting in Garth’s hands, Dean turned back around and kicked in the door just as the gun went off with a loud bang.

0000

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Just a fare warning: The first part of this chapter contains torture on a human, so if you don’t like, feel free to skip over. I just wanted for Missy to feel exactly what she put Sam through; I feel like she deserved it and then some. That’s all!

Chapter 7

The gun was pointed directly at her head and Jody bit her lip, refusing to let any weakness show if this was actually it for her. There really wasn’t much else to do as she watched Missy cock the gun and smirk, the same look she had given her and Sam every morning for the last 10 months. Jody’s eyes narrowed dangerously at the young girl as she watched her finger go to the trigger on the gun,  
“Do it.” She hissed.

Just as Missy was about to pull the trigger, suddenly the door to the house burst wide open and, taking this as the only opportunity, Jody lifted her leg and swung, kicking Missy right in between the legs as the gun fired. With a loud gasp, Jody ducked out of the way just as the gun went off, missing her by mere inches. Her mouth hanging open with shock, the older woman lifted her head up just as a highly pissed off Dean stormed into the room, his own gun drawn out and ready.

Dean looked in between Jody, who was still handcuffed to the chair in the middle of the living room, to Missy who had fallen to the floor. Jody’s kick appeared to have been hard enough to take the young girl down temporarily and the gun had flown from her hand, landing at Jody’s feet. Tucking his gun into his jeans, Dean hurried over to Sheriff Mills’ side and squatted down, all the while digging out a paper clip from his pocket,  
“You okay?” He asked, fiddling with the paper clip and quickly undoing the cuffs from her wrists.

As soon as her hands were free, Jody rubbed the tender skin and glanced up at Dean and then to Missy,   
“Sam?” She whispered urgently. If Dean was here, Sam had to be close by; he had to be safe,  
“Where is he?”

“Safe,” Dean replied, watching as Jody picked up the fallen gun at her feet. As he was about to turn back to the monster that had dared hurt his brother so badly, Jody’s cry sounded in his ear,  
“Dean, look out!”

Before Dean had time to turn around, the feeling of something hard and heavy hit his head and he went sprawling down to the floor. His head was throbbing and dizziness started washing over him, but stubbornness won itself out as the older Winchester looked back up and saw Missy standing over him with a broken lamp in her hands. Her eyes were on fire with rage and she was breathing heavily  
“Oh hell no, you little bitch…” Dean mumbled, refusing to pass out now even as his head was throbbing. Pushing himself up to his feet, he forced himself to remain steady as he glared directly into her eyes,  
“So you want to go about this the hard way, do you?”

“You were not supposed to be here yet,” Missy growled, still holding the broken lamp in her hands.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly, rolling his eyes as he stepped closer, all the while placing his hand into his back pocket for the knife he carried just in case,  
“You took my brother, blinded him, caged him and did God knows what else to him-“

“He enjoyed it,” Missy smirked with a wink.

“You did things to him that should NEVER be done to him!” Dean growled, taking another step forward,  
“You and your so-called family obviously didn’t get the memo last time, did you? Hurt Sammy, you die.”

Missy threw her head back and laughed loudly for a few seconds before shaking her head, her steely gaze never leaving Dean’s murderous one,  
“Give it your best shot, big guy,” She sarcastically urged,  
“But I’m warning you, I’ll get my revenge, Sam ain’t going anywhere and you’re only going to wind up dead on my floor. I’ll let the rats make you their dinner and I’ll enjoy every minute of it!”

Fuming through his nostrils, Dean grabbed the knife and the gun and leaped forward, pressing the knife to the girl’s throat and the gun to her temple,  
“Wanta make a bet on it?”

Missy growled angrily and wrenched her arm forward, twisting the gun out of Dean’s grasp and watching proudly as it clattered to the floor. Before she could grasp it however, another hand had reached down and picked it up. For the first time, surprise appeared on the younger girl’s face as she faced a royally pissed off Jody Mills, who easily tossed the gun back into Dean’s hand as she raised a red hot poker,  
“A little bird told me that you wanted to know exactly how Sam felt when you blinded him.”

With Missy’s back to him, Dean reached out and hooked his arm around her neck, jerking her head back until he had her in a hard head lock. A small smile formed on his lips as he felt her squirming,  
“Oh come on, Missy, I’m just getting my revenge,” He nodded briefly over at Jody, who stepped closer, poker raised directly to the girl’s wild eyes,  
“Besides, I heard that little birdy as well, it whispered into my ear that you were dying for a taste of your own medicine. That you wanted to experience the same agony you put Sam through.”

As shrill screams filled the house for the next couple of minutes, Dean never once loosening the hold around Missy’s neck, Jody leaned closer to the girl who was finally starting to show some emotion,  
“What’s that, Missy? You want us to stop? Funny…I could have sworn that’s what Sam was begging you to do for 10 MONTHS!” She lowered the poker once more to the second eye, glancing up at Dean and shaking her head,  
“I’m so getting fired for this…”

“They probably think you’re dead anyways,” Dean grumbled, tightening his grip with one arm as he reached for the knife again with the other. Fury consumed the older Winchester once more at the girl’s whimpers of pain,  
“Oh shut up,” He snapped, glaring down at her,  
“You know what, Jody…fuck this…” Tucking the knife back into his pocket, he reached instead for the gun and pressed it to Missy’s temple,  
“I’ll see you in Hell.” He growled, pulling the trigger.

0000

An hour later, silence once again filled the Chevy Impala as Dean speed well over the speed limit down the road in search of the closest hospital in town. His little brother’s head rested on his lap, Dean’s jacket still draped over him as he attempted to sleep. Dean’s right hand continued to either stroke his hair or rub his shoulder, every now and then checking Sam’s pulse to make sure he was still breathing. With a glance in the rear view mirror where Garth and Jody were still sitting, both not speaking a word, Dean met Jody’s eyes briefly before turning back to his brother as he felt him shift underneath his hand.

Taking this as a cue to pull the car over, Dean did just that and pulled the car to a halt on the side of the deserted road,  
“It’s okay, Sammy…”

“He okay?” Jody uttered for the first time that hour from the backseat.

Dean met Jody’s eyes again and sighed, not sure how to answer that question. Sam was far from okay, he didn’t know if he would ever be “okay” again after this visit to the hospital. Lowering his eyes back down to his brother, Dean watched as Sam seemed to be clawing at his neck; it was as if he was trying to touch something just out of his reach. It was such a frantic gesture that Dean laid his hand carefully over his brother’s,  
“You’re okay, tiger, you’re okay.”

Sam never once woke up; but then again, even if he did awake, Dean never knew as Sam hadn’t spoken since they escaped the house. With a stroke on his brother’s head, the older Winchester lowered Sam’s hand back down until it rested once again against his leg,  
“What were you looking for, Sammy?”

Even with Sam’s head still resting on his lap, Dean carefully unzipped the jacket still wrapped around his little brother and fiddled with the neck of Sam’s shirt, lifting it slightly. What he saw nearly caused tears to flood Dean’s eyes; this was impossible, how in the world…?

The black cord was visible as soon as Dean had lifted the shirt and with a careful hand, pulled further until the little gold amulet was showing. With the necklace still around his brother’s neck, Dean gently held the tiny gold symbol in the palm of his hand, remembering the last time he saw this, when he had shattered Sam’s heart by throwing it away right in front of him. He had regretted it, he really did, but how in the world was he supposed to have brought this sensitive topic up with his brother? Instead, they had just let it go, never once bringing it up and talking about it.

But now, here it lay around Sam’s neck, just like it had when Dean had returned from Hell. He had carried it with him for the entire 10 months he was caged at the Bender’s; he was wearing it through everything…never knowing if he would ever be reunited with his brother again, never knowing for sure if he was dead or alive. Not bothering to wipe away the tears that were streaming from his eyes, Dean shook his head as he stared at the amulet,  
“My God, Sammy…”

 

0000

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I’m gonna prepare myself now for the objects that are gonna be thrown my way… *ducks out of reach and hides* Okay, now I’m ready…Just fyi, I’m not a doctor, so I don’t have any doctor experience, so any mistakes doctor wise are all my own mistakes, I just happen to work at an ophthalmology office, but I don’t work directly with the doctors. Soooo, yeah...I’m gonna be in my hideaway over there. *points and runs for her life*

Chapter 8

“Family for Samuel Smith?”

Dean glanced up from the amulet he was twirling around in his hands and rose to his feet unsteadily, watching as the doctor made his way over to him. His heart continued pounding rapidly in his chest as he watched the doc swipe a hand over his face in what appeared to be a nervous manner,  
“I’m his brother. Dean.” He gestured to Garth, who rose to his feet as well and was standing quietly behind him,  
“This is Garth.”

The doctor held out his hand in greeting,   
“I’m Doctor Brennan, I’m overseeing Sam’s care,” He sighed and gestured for the older Winchester to follow him down the hall,  
“Why don’t you follow me? There’s some things I need to discuss with you regarding your brother’s condition.”

Dean felt himself going weak in the knees, but shook his head and demanded,  
“Just tell me here, I have to know, doc. Is my brother alright?”

Doctor Brennan sighed softly and took a seat in one of the waiting room chairs, watching as Dean and Garth did the same. The intensity in the doctor’s gaze was starting to unnerve Dean and he was starting to fear for the worst. When the two older hunters and Jody had arrived in the ER almost an hour ago, Jody had been rushed to get checked over while Sam had been pushed on a stretcher and disappeared behind closed doors. There, Dean had found himself handed numerous amounts of paperwork by a nurse and numerous questions asked by the staff over what had happened to Sam. 

Dean knew he couldn’t lie this time, besides their last names of course, and had explained how he and his brother had been separated for over a year, only to find out about Sam’s abduction through an unknown phone call. He knew it wasn’t necessary to mention the fact that Missy Bender had kidnapped and caged Sam to get revenge for killing her hillbilly cannibalistic family, or the fact that he had tortured and killed Missy herself. The cops would be on his tale in a heartbeat and he couldn’t afford any of that, not with Sam in the state he was in.

The older brother watched nervously as Doctor Brennan looked down at a clipboard he had in his hands and handed it to Dean,  
“What’s this?”

“I think you know,” The doctor softly started,  
“Do you and your brother have any other family? Parents or grandparents?”

“It’s just Sammy and I, doc, I look out for him,” Dean narrowed his eyes at the doctor as if challenging him to question his place in Sam’s life. He left it at that as he stared intently into the doctor’s eyes, not backing down.

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Smith,” Doctor Brennan apologized, looking down at the clipboard again,  
“You’ve seen your brother’s condition for yourself, I wish I had better news to offer you, but your brother’s eyes have been charred and burned beyond repair. There is unfortunately nothing we can do, no surgery, that can repair his sight.” He let out a breath, preparing himself for this next bit of news which he knew was going to shake this protective older brother to the core,  
“I need you to sign these forms to give us permission to operate and remove your brother’s eyes.”

“Excuse me?” Dean blinked twice, not sure if he heard correctly,  
“Did you just say…?”

“I’m afraid if this isn’t done, Mr. Smith, your brother will be experiencing a large amount of pain, a pain that will be ten times worse if the operation is done,” Doctor Brennan tried to explain patiently. This was not something he took lightly; this was not something he ever wanted to explain to his patients. In all the years he had practiced at the hospital, he had only come across one other case where a patient’s eyes had had to be removed, but it was due to a tumor. What he had seen here today, with Sam’s case, he had never seen anything like it where they had been scarred and burned so badly on purpose. He could not imagine how another human being would do that to another, how they would purposely hurt someone to a point where the damage couldn’t be repaired,  
“I am terribly sorry I have to be the one to deliver it to you, but I highly recommend it.”

“What’s my other option?” Dean choked out, his voice thick with unshed tears. 

“I’m afraid there is no other option, Dean,” The doctor replied sympathetically,  
“Your brother will be blind for the rest of his life either way; but whether or not he’s in any pain is depending on whether or not we do the procedure. It’s a very simple procedure and he won’t feel any pain during it, I can assure you of that. Once he has heeled, we can try and fit him for a pair of glass eyes. They come in all sorts of different colors, ones that match your brother’s former eye color. It will be up to Sam or course.” He watched as the look on Dean’s face changed from anger and denial to sadness and guilt. Doctor Brennan glanced over at Garth, who had yet to say a word, and saw the same look of sadness on the younger man’s face.

“Will he be in pain if the operation is done?” The younger hunter asked quietly, receiving a deadly glare from Dean.

“It will be uncomfortable for the first couple of weeks, I’m not going to lie; and of course he’s going to have to get used to the idea. From what you told the nurse, Dean, Sam went through a great deal the last year and he was also stabbed recently, I’m sure you saw,” He raised an eyebrow in Dean’s direction to confirm it, seeing Dean’s sad nod as he refused to look at him,  
“It appears whoever bandaged and stitched him up only did it so that he wouldn’t bleed out and die; we’re going to have to fix that knife wound as well, it didn’t go so deep to cause any nerve damage, but it’s something that needs to be taken care of immediately.” He held his breath for a moment, mentally trying to prepare himself for the last bit of news, unsure if Dean was going to be able to handle anything else,  
“There’s one more thing you must know, and then you’re going to have to make your decision.”

“What?” Dean quietly asked, refusing to meet Doctor Brennan’s eyes.

“We ran a bunch of tests, Mr. Smith, and I am terribly sorry I have to deliver this bit of news to you, but it also appears your brother was sexually assaulted numerous times over the months.”

Dean’s head shot up, as did Garth’s, and he tightened his grip on the amulet he still held in his fingers. The tears that he was trying to hold back suddenly made their way to the surface and he wiped them away as best he could with the back of his hand. Suddenly, it all started to make sense: Sam tensing up when he tried to lift his shirt to look at the knife wound, Sam backing away from him every time he had raised his voice, the words and apologies that were spoken. Of course, not all of it made sense still, his talk about never being born and apologizing for getting kidnapped and losing his sight…Dean couldn’t imagine what was said to Sam that would make him say this type of stuff, and more importantly…Was it Missy that had assaulted his brother sexually? The girl had been a monster, no doubt about that; sure, she had been able to overpower Sam and Jody and keep them caged for almost a year, but was she capable of sexually assaulting his brother with or without his sight? Was there another person involved that did some of Missy’s dirty work?

The very thought made Dean want to keel over and just as he thought he was going to lose the little food he had over the last couple of days, a bucket was shoved underneath him. The tears continued falling down his face as he heaved, grateful that the doctor didn’t say anything. He listened as Garth cleared his throat nervously and spoke,  
“What do we do now? I mean, he’s been hurt real bad…”

“I’m sorry, but who were you again?” Doctor Brennan interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

“His name’s Garth,” Dean finally spoke up, lifting his head from the bucket,  
“He’s a friend of Sam and I, you can tell him whatever you tell me.”

Satisfied with that answer, the doc nodded his head and continued,  
“As far as your other friend, Jody, is concerned, we would like to keep her overnight for observation. You said she almost got shot and was held along with Sam; there doesn’t seem to be any damage done, but if all goes well by morning, she can be released.” He waited until Dean had nodded his head before he held out the clipboard again,  
“Now back to Sam.”

Dean felt himself unable to speak for a few moments as the reality of Sam’s situation started to sink in,  
“Can-Can I talk with him about it first?”

“I think that can be arranged,” Doctor Brennan replied gently, rising to his feet with Dean,  
“I can have you stay for a few minutes, but then I’m going to need a decision from you. Your brother is in a lot of pain right now, so the sooner the better.”

0000

Dean walked through the swinging doors of the sterile white room, his heart sinking into his chest as he saw his brother still laid out on the stretcher, two white bandages covering his eyes. He watched as the nurse standing at his side finished what she was doing and smiled gently over at him,  
“I’ll let you have some time alone with him.” She looked down at his brother and spoke just as gently,  
“Your brother’s here, honey; I’ll leave you two to talk and then we’ll get to work and getting you better.” She smiled sadly as the younger brother nodded his head weakly and turned to walk out the swinging doors.

Dean wasted not another moment to step towards his brother and grasp his hand tightly in both of his,  
“Hey, sport, you doin’ alright?”

Sam looked like he was about to nod his head, but settled on shaking it instead, his lower lip starting to quiver even as he tried to stop it. Dean settled down in the chair next to the stretcher and squeezed Sam’s hand,  
“The doc came and told me…they need to operate on you, Sammy…”

Sam mutely nodded his head in agreement, squeezing his brother’s hand back tightly. What was he supposed to say to this? “Go ahead, remove my eyes, it’ll all be okay in the end, you’re strong, you’ve been to Hell and back, you’ve been soulless and literally had Lucifer as an everyday companion. This is nothing”? Was that what he was supposed to say, that it was no big deal?

“I know, Sammy,” Dean whispered, knowing exactly what his brother was thinking without him saying it,  
“But you CAN do this. I’m certain of it-“

“I can’t,” Sam interrupted finally, his voice breaking.

“Yes, you can,” Dean firmly replied,  
“With me beside you, you can.”

“Dean…”

“Yeah, Sam?”

Sam bit his lower lip and shook his head again, the pain slowly starting to get unbearable now,  
“I’m so scared…” He whispered, tears leaking through the bandages over his damaged eyes,  
“I’m just so scared…”

“I’m here, though, I’ll always be right here. I’m not going anywhere,” Dean promised, laying a hand on his brother’s head and stroking back the strands of long hair,  
“And I’ll be right there when you wake up, I promise.”

Sam let out another sob as he turned to his right, wanting to see his big brother one last time; wanting to at least have that last image before he allowed his world to go black forever. But of course, the last image he ever had of his brother was when he had been zapped to Purgatory with Dick Roman, and that was forever in his mind. Clutching his brother’s hand tighter, Sam finally allowed himself to nod his head,  
“All right.” He uttered, terror etched into his voice,  
“Sign the form.”

0000

As Dean walked back out into the waiting room, his face now streaked with unashamed tears, Garth rose to his feet with the doctor and his eyes widened,  
“Dean?”

Dean shook his head, unable to speak for the moment as he stepped forward and grabbed the clipboard from Doctor Brennan’s hand, scrawling his name on the line.

0000

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Sam had never felt so light in his whole life, it was like he was floating in the air; nobody could touch him, nobody could hurt him. He didn’t know if this was a dream, or if it was just his imagination playing tricks on him, but whatever it was, he didn’t want to leave this place. This place where he didn’t have to think about anything or any troubles.

In the very back of his mind, he felt a light touch on his arm and then a squeeze to his hand, but Sam couldn’t bring himself to respond to it. The peace surrounding him was a blessing; he didn’t want anything to come in between him and that certain peace. 

But what about Dean? Maybe that was him trying to reach out to him? He knew right then as he floated further away, that there was never any real peace if Dean wasn’t a part of it. That was a fact. He heard a few soft voices in the dark corners of his mind, but he couldn’t make out who they were or what they were saying. If he tried to force himself to heard what they were talking about, that would mean returning to the pain and leaving this peace behind.

But he would be back with Dean, wouldn’t he? That was who he so desperately needed; Dean was peace. He was the one who always comforted him and took care of him. And he needed to be there for Dean as well, and if being there for his brother meant him giving up that peace, then so be it.

He tried to shove the peaceful feeling aside and return to his brother’s side by opening his eyes, but there was something wrong. Terribly wrong. They wouldn’t open, it was like no matter how much effort he put into that one task, his eyes would not open. It was right then that the voices in his subconscious could louder and he was able to slowly start to make out what was being said.

But if he was waking up, why couldn’t he open his eyes?

The peaceful feeling was slowly leaving him as the gentle grasp on his hand tightened and he felt someone squeeze it. Sam’s heart started to pound rapidly in his chest as he started to recall that the person who was holding his hand had to be Dean; more noises were heard around him, loud, annoying beeping noises and once again, another voice talking.

Suddenly, it all started to come back in a rush like an avalanche; everything that had happened the last year started to fill his mind and before he could stop it, the memory of being rushed into a hospital and into surgery filled his mind and he was unable to stop the tears from falling down his face.

0000

“I think he’s starting to wake up,” Dean whispered to himself, ignoring the fact that Garth was in the room as well, standing right beside him.

Garth drew in a deep breath and stepped closer to the older Winchester, clearing his throat,  
“Have you thought anything more about where you’ll relocate once Sam’s out of here?” He asked tentatively, feeling like he was walking on eggshells around Dean, but finding it important nonetheless.

“I’ll figure it out, Garth. I’m not going to move my brother from one shady motel room after another, if that’s what you’re thinking,” He grumbled, not moving his eyes from Sam’s hand, which he held tightly in his,  
“I’ll get a job so I can afford to rent us an apartment, I’ll figure it out.”

Garth cleared his throat again and continued,  
“You might not have to worry about that-“

“If you’re thinking I’m going to shack up with you, think again,” Dean interrupted harshly, shooting a glare the younger hunter’s way before turning back to his baby brother.

“What I mean is…I know a friend who can help you get an apartment for free the first year,” Garth continued as if Dean hadn’t spoken,  
“I’ve been thinking and I made some calls while Sam was in surgery…My friend is a hunter himself and he’s willing to offer you a place to stay while Sam recovers from this. He won’t charge you for the first full year; all you have to do is tell him your name and that I recommended you to him and he’ll take it from there.”

Dean’s eyes widened in shock as he looked up at Garth again, his face softening slowly as emotions filled his green eyes,  
“You did that for us?”

“Yes,” Garth replied, reaching into the pocket of his jacket and pulling out a slip of paper, handing it to his friend,  
“Just ask for Michael Harper. His number is on the back.” He waited until Dean had grasped the piece of paper and looked it over, tears brimming in his eyes,  
“It’s close to a hospital and Michael will take care of all the responsibilities of rent.”

“What’d you tell him?” Dean whispered, turning back to his brother, hiding the tears that were now falling down his face at the sight of the heavy white bandages that were covering where Sam’s eyes used to be.

“I just told them some friends, some fellow hunters, had a bad accident recently and they needed to relocate in order to heal,” Garth replied, hoping that that wasn’t too much information given. He watched as Dean nodded his head with a sigh of relief before continuing,  
“I don’t want to intrude when he wakes up…” He whispered, looking down at his Sam and his own heart hurting at his friend’s condition,  
“I assume you’re going to want some alone time with him.”

“You bet your ass I do,” Dean whispered back wearily.

“Just give Michael a call; I promise you that you can trust him,” Garth sadly looked in between his friends before backing out towards the door,  
“I’ll check in with you both in a few days.”

Dean nodded in reply as Garth left the room, never paying any attention as the younger hunter nodded towards Jody who had been standing in the doorway watching. He ignored everything that was going on around him as the two left the hospital room to return downstairs and to the waiting taxi. Dean didn’t pay any attention to anything other then the little brother beside him.

“It’s just you and me now, Sammy,” Dean replied, gently prying Sam’s hand open and placing the amulet into it. He gently closed Sam’s hand around it and squeezed,  
“I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.”

0000

Sam felt the something being put into his hand and he instantly recognized the feel of the amulet in his palm. The pointy horns dug into his hand as Dean closed it and gave his hand a squeeze in return,  
“It’s just you and me now, Sammy,” His brother was saying and Sam wanted to sob; his brother had found the amulet he had been wearing. He still had it. And it was just him and Dean. But letting Dean know he was now awake and letting him see the extent of what he was feeling was something else altogether; how was he supposed to tell Dean just how shitty he felt, how helpless he felt and…and how much he needed him?

It’s Dean, Sam’s mind was telling him as he felt Dean’s hand on his forehead and the gentle rub of his thumb running through his long hair,  
You can tell Dean anything and everything. 

At just that thought, Sam was unable to stop himself from opening his mouth now and whispering in the still room,  
“Dean…?”

“I’m here, tiger,” Dean replied gently, his voice soothing as he leaned down and Sam felt a gentle kiss on his forehead before the rubbing continued,  
“You’re alright.”

“I’m not…” Sam whispered painfully, right then wanting more then anything to return to that peaceful place he was at just moments ago,  
“I’m not…alright…”

Debating whether to leave and get Doctor Brennan or a fellow nurse, Dean thought better of it at the moment and continued stroking his brother’s head,  
“Then I’ll make it alright.” Dean replied, squeezing the hand again that held the amulet,  
“Are you thirsty?” As Sam nodded his head, Dean got up and quickly moved to the foot of the bed to retrieve the pitcher of water, pouring it into a plastic cup. Placing a straw in, the older brother moved back to Sam’s side and placed a gentle hand on the back of Sam’s neck,  
“Here we go.”

As Sam drank from the straw until the cup was empty, he felt Dean grasp his hand again in his,  
“It hurts…”

“It’s going to for a while, kiddo,” Dean’s voice cracked against his better judgment, all the while reaching forward to the head of Sam’s bed and pressing the call button.

“How bad…What does it look like…?”

“You don’t need to know that right now, Sammy, alright?” Dean quieted him, going back to stroking his brother’s shaggy hair, trying not to stair at the stark white bandages,  
“What we need to worry about is you healing.” He wanted more then anything to tell his brother what he already knew bits and pieces of what Doc Brennan had told him about the abuse inflicted on him, but Dean was not going to be that stupid. His brother had just had his eyes removed for heaven’s sake; being sexually assaulted not once or twice, but multiple times, was something else altogether and he knew that even though he didn’t want to wait, it was up to Sam and Sam only for him to talk with his brother about it. He knew if Sam didn’t confide in him sooner rather than later, he was going to have to do a little pushing, but now…Now, he had to push that rage towards Missy and whatever companions she had aside; Missy was dead, he had tortured and killed the bitch, getting revenge on someone else he didn’t even know existed was out of the question.

As Doctor Brennan entered the room a few minutes later and took a seat between Sam and Dean, the older brother’s mind started to think back to what Garth had told him earlier and the small slip of paper he had inserted into his hand. He had better take advantage of this opportunity as soon as possible, his brother was going to need him more then ever and if that meant free housing and not having to work to pay for the rent, Dean was going to jump at that chance. He unfolded the slip of paper again and looked at it, his eyes starting to water again as he silently thanked whoever cared enough to do this for Sam and himself. 

0000

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

“I’m telling you, Jody, I saw it with my own two eyes,” Sam was saying, his voice trembling as he spoke, all the while pacing back in forth in Rufus’ cabin and running his fingers endlessly through his long hair,  
“He ganked Roman and next thing I knew…”

Sheriff Jody Mills looked up from where she sitting at Sam’s laptop, her own eyes filled with concern as she watched the younger Winchester start to have a nervous breakdown. The two of them had only been going at it with research on where Dean could have gone for 2 days, but Jody was already feeling helpless the more she learned what had happened. From what Sam had told her when they first met up, he had been doing his own research for 2 months straight, nonstop, before he finally got up the nerve to give her a call for help.

When she had arrived at the cabin, the sight of Sam Winchester standing there, shaking like a leaf and tears streaming from his eyes, nearly brought her to her knees. It was a sight she did not want to see again; so all she could do was wrap him up in her arms and try and encourage him that there was some other explanation for all of this, that Dean was alive. 

But as she learned more of what Sam had witnessed, the more she was staring to fear that his big brother was dead, that he had died along with Dick Roman. The last thing she was going to do, though, was confirm those suspicions with Sam, he was torn up enough as it was and he didn’t need her doubt. He needed her faith, her support, and that was what she had been doing for the last 48 hours.

“Calm down, Sam,” Jody rose to her feet and crossed over to where the youngest Winchester was still pacing, and stood in front of him, blocking his path. She reached out and placed her hands gently on his upper arms, forcing him to look at her,  
“Just calm down, honey, we’re going to figure this out.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/5-SheriffJodie_zps3a11e1c4.jpg.html)

Before Sam had time to respond to that, however, a loud knock on the front door sounded through the room and both turned, their eyebrows raised in suspicion. This area was deserted, who in the world would be knocking on the door at this time? Shoving aside his fear and terror for his brother for the moment, Sam nodded at Jody and grabbed his gun from his waistband. He moved to the door, checking the salt line to make sure it was in place, and waited until Jody was behind him before reaching and unlocking the door. Not sure what to expect, he moved his gun until it was pointing directly in front of him and darted out into the open doorway.

Nothing.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/imagesCALE10LC_zpsd55f133b.jpg.html)

Not at all surprised by this-hell, he and Dean had seen this kind of situation on more then one occasion in their lives-Sam kept the gun in front of him as he cocked the trigger, getting ready for anything,  
“Who’s there?” He demanded, taking a deep breath before stepping over the salt line and looking to his right, then to his left, looking for anyone who could be hiding in the shadows. It was nearly dark outside, no lights visible to the human eye, so Sam made sure he was extra cautious. Looking back over his shoulder, he called to Jody,  
“Could you grab me my flashlight from the table over there?” 

After the sheriff had tossed it to him, Sam caught it expertly and turned it on, letting the light shine once again to his right and left, then back again. His brow furrowed in confusion as he still didn’t see anyone or, more importantly, anything. With his gun still held out to him as well as the flashlight, he heard Jody call from inside the cabin,  
“Anything?”

“No, nothing,” Sam was saying, but just as the words escaped his mouth, the beam of light suddenly shone on a figure who had moved right in front of him. Just as he was about to act and aim his gun at whoever this was, he felt something hit him over the head. Hard. Stars danced in his vision and before he could stop it, he had collapsed to the ground.

0000

Sam awoke to darkness once again, a darkness that was never ending. He tried to open his eyes once more, testing them to see if everything was a horrible nightmare, but like before there was nothing. Instead, he just felt a tugging on his eyelids and a shooting pain at his attempt. It really had happened; he was still blind; and more importantly, his eyes were gone.

Gone.

Surprised that he was still able to shed tears as he felt a few trail down his cheeks, Sam lifted his right hand and was just in the process of touching the bandages when he felt a firm hand stop him; the hand closed over his right one and brought it back down to his lap, all the while keeping a grip on his left hand,  
“Leave it alone, Sammy,” Dean’s voice whispered gently,  
“You don’t want to mess with it right now.”

Sam forced himself to comply with his brother’s orders as he reluctantly let his hand drop back down to his lap, his fingers fiddling with the blanket wrapped over him,  
“Please tell me this isn’t real,” He begged desperately,  
“Did it…did really happen…?”

He listened carefully as Dean drew in a shaky breath and let it out; it was as if he was trying to find the right words to say to him. The younger Winchester felt his brother’s tighten on his again, the amulet still clenched in his palm,  
“It really happened, Sam. I’m…I wish I’m sorry was enough, but it isn’t…”

“Not your fault,” Sam uttered tiredly,  
“It was never your fault, Dean.”

“It wasn’t yours, either,” Dean replied, his gaze traveling over his brother’s face. This killed him to see his baby brother like this; it was bad enough he was blind, but to know that the surgery really had happened and there was no hope…that tore his heart to shreds. But the last thing he was going to let happen was let Sam think that this was his own fault,  
“Human or not, you couldn’t have stopped her.”

He waited to see if his brother would reply, but when he didn’t, Dean kept on, wanting to be as careful as possible with the topic he was about to bring up,  
“Sammy. You don’t have to tell me right now if you don’t want to, but…”

“You want me to talk about it.”

“Not just that, kiddo,” Dean shook his head,  
“You can talk when you’re damn good and ready. When you were first brought in here, Doctor Brennan did an examination on you and…” His voice shook, unsure how in the world he was supposed to approach this. What was he supposed to say to Sam? How was he supposed to even word it?  
“Sammy, did Missy…did someone else hurt you?”

Dean watched as Sam’s face paled at those word as he shook his head in terror,  
“No. I wasn’t assaulted. She didn’t assault me-“

“Someone did, tiger,” Dean interrupted, moving his hand to cup his brother’s cheek in his,  
“The tests don’t lie.”

“No,” Sam continued desperately, shaking his head back and forth,  
“I wasn’t raped…” As soon as he said the words, his voice cracked with emotion and he moved his face out of Dean’s grasp, pushing him away,  
“I wasn’t…”

“What happened, Sammy?” Dean pressed gently, lowering the bed rails and taking a seat in front of his brother. Even though he knew that Sam wouldn’t be able to see him, he wanted to make his brother feel as safe as possible,  
“No secrets, little bro, alright?”

Sam fell into silence once again and Dean’s heart continued breaking as his little brother started to reach his hand up again and claw at the bandages over where his eyes used to be. Dean reached his own hand out and wrapped his fingers around Sam’s wrist again, attempting to stop him from messing with the wounds,  
“Stop, Sam.” His voice was firm as he spoke this time,  
“Stop doing that-“

Sam continued wrestling under Dean’s grasp as he attempted to pull his wrist out of his brother’s hand. Despite all the weight he had lost and how much weaker he was, Sam won out that battle as he yanked his hand away,  
“You want the truth, Dean?” He uttered wearily, his face turned away from where he knew his brother was seated,  
“Well here it is. She raped me every day for the first month, when I still could see; and once I lost my vision…” The tears started up again, but Sam ignored them, his lower lip trembling with every word he spoke,  
“Once she took my sight away, she brought in some friends of hers…”

Seeing that his brother was about to break at any given moment, Dean kicked himself for even attempting to bring this up and reached out and wrapped his arms firmly around his brother’s shoulders. He held his breath, waiting to see if Sam was going to pull away from him again, but closed his eyes in relief as he soon felt Sam’s arms snake around him and clutching him for dear life,  
“They told me…that you chose not to come and find me because you wished I had never been born…that you wished me dead…Each time they…did that, Missy told me over and over that your disappearance was all my fault…that you were probably dead because of me…”

Dean’s heart clenched in fury as he fisted the back of his brother’s hospital gown in his hand before reaching his other hand out and running it through Sam’s hair,  
“All lies, Sammy,” He whispered into his ear, rocking him back and forth,  
“Every single one. All lies.”

“Even when I didn’t any meals…I always felt like I could overpower her, but each time, I couldn’t…and then Missy used that poker on me,” Sam quietly spoke, his voice cracking at every emotion he was trying to hold inside,  
“I remembered when they tried to do that to you once, and I thought I’d be able to be as strong as you were, but that wasn’t the case,” Sam buried his face into his brother’s shoulder blade as he continued,  
“From that day on, I was wearing the amulet; I had kept it with me the whole time, but I chose to wear it after that…That way, it felt like you were nearby even if you were dead…”

Dean nodded his head mutely and rested his chin on the top of Sam’s head, trying to gain control of the anger churning inside his gut. He wished more then anything that Missy was still alive right now so that he could torture and kill her all over again; he wanted to hear her screams of mercy, hear her beg for her life…Dean closed his eyes as he remembered how much he had enjoyed torturing all those souls in Hell; if it meant it wasn’t him being tortured, he would gladly do it. Now that he had done it again to Missy Bender, he couldn’t deny the fact that he had enjoyed watching her suffer.

After all, she had done the exact same thing to Sam. She had ignored the Dean Winchester Rule Number One: “Touch Sammy and die.” He didn’t regret his choices and he didn’t feel bad about it either. Now if only he knew who these friends of Missy’s were…Dean shook the thought out of his head, there was no way he could get revenge for this; neither he nor Sam knew who they were. And Sammy needed him like he had never needed him before.

And he was going to be there.

Even after everything that had went down in Purgatory, the older Winchester pushed every single memory aside; he didn’t deserve to grieve over his own experiences. He had disappeared off the face of the Earth, and Sam had suffered a loss so great because of it. 

All because of him.

0000

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

“…You’re blaming yourself,” Sam quietly whispered against Dean’s shoulder, finally breaking the silence in the hospital room. More silence followed and Sam could feel Dean’s shoulders tremble slightly, despite his best effort to hold it back,  
“You are, aren’t you?”

“No, of course not, Sammy,” Dean lied, closing his eyes tightly as he only held onto his brother tighter. He felt Sam nod his head reluctantly against his shoulder and he ran his fingers through Sam’s hair carefully before continuing,  
“What else do you remember, kiddo?”

Knowing that his older brother was purposely changing the subject, Sam’s heart pounded rapidly as he heard Dean return the topic back to himself. The last thing he wanted to do was remember was the past year; everything from being caged, starved, sexually assaulted and then finally blinded. How did one go about really talking about it without having a complete mental breakdown?

“Nothing,” He finally replied, hoping Dean would just drop it. With a gentle pull, he pulled out of his brother’s grasp and turned his head away again,  
“Just drop it…”

Sighing, the older Winchester nodded reluctantly and looked down at his lap,  
“Alright, Sammy…”

Awkward silence once more filled the room before Dean reached for his little brother’s left hand and opened it to retrieve the amulet still sitting in it limply,  
“But just so you’re aware, little bro…” He unraveled the amulet and reached forward and slipped it back around his brother’s neck, letting it lay against his chest,  
“I’m not gonna give up.” He watched as Sam’s hand trembled slightly as it reached up and grasped the necklace lying there and held onto it tightly,  
“I’m not gonna give up on you; whenever you feel that around your neck, just know that I’m nearby, alright?”

Sam’s lower lip trembled against his will, wishing with all his might that he could force the tears back but he cursed himself silently as he felt them roll underneath the bandages and down his face. Not saying a word, he allowed his brother to reach out for him once more and pull him back to his chest. All the while, Sam held tightly to the amulet with one hand while the other held onto his brother’s shirt in a death grip,  
“I’m sorry.” He whispered, his voice barely audible.

“None of that,” Dean interrupted, stopping his brother from apologizing more,  
“I don’t want to hear any of that anymore from you.”

Pain sliced through Sam like knives as he nodded again, not saying a word. He knew that was what Dean believed with all his heart; he believed that none of it was Sam’s fault, and instead it was all on his own shoulders. But the younger Winchester couldn’t bring himself to believe any of that. He was permanently damaged for the rest of his life and nothing could change that; it was because of this that Dean’s life was now never the same. He had just returned from Purgatory for Pete’s sake and now the weight of Sam was on his shoulders once again.

As Dean gently rocked him back and forth like he had when he had found him the other day in the cage, Sam uttered weakly,  
“Now what?”

“Now,” Dean replied, suddenly remembering the apartment Garth and his friend had promised for he and Sam,  
“I take care of you.”

0000

Dean glanced back into Sam’s room as he slept restlessly, holding his cell phone up to hear as he waited for an answer. He glanced back up and down the hallways quickly and breathed a sigh of relief at not seeing any hospital staff nearby; if they caught him, he’d be a dead man. After about five rings, a gruff voice answered on the other end of the line,  
“Harper.”

Dean’s eyebrows raised an arch at the answer, suddenly reminded of how Bobby used to answer the phone when he was alive,  
“Yes, this is Dean Winchester, I got your number from a mutual friend, Garth-“

“Dean Winchester, Johnny’s boy?”

The older brother felt his eyebrows raise even farther up his hairline at that question, taken aback,  
“Yeah. You knew my dad then-“

“He was a great friend of mine before he became an asshole, so yeah, I knew him,” Michael Harper huffed with a chuckle,  
“I take it Garth told you about my offer?” His voice became serious, once again just like Bobby’s,   
“Garth didn’t say much about what happened, but that you desperately needed to relocate because of an accident.”

“It was no accident,” Dean growled, somehow feeling quite at ease around this fellow; it was just like talking to Bobby Singer all over again,  
“It’s Sam…”

“John’s youngest?” Michael’s voice sounded surprised, as if he wasn’t expecting this,  
“Tell me what happened, boy.”

Dean frowned slightly, wanting right then to make sure this was all for real, that this guy was for real. It didn’t seem possible that a friend of his father’s appeared right when they needed him the most, and he and Sam had never even heard his name mentioned,  
“Tell you what, Harper,” Dean glanced back down the hallway and just as he saw some nurses making their way his way, he ducked back into Sam’s room and headed straight for the bathroom but keeping the door slightly ajar,  
“You tell me what my father did for a living and how my mom died, then I’ll answer that question.”

Michael Harper snorted sarcastically and replied,  
“The supernatural, you moron,” He snapped,  
“And your mother was killed by the Yellow-Eyed Demon because she got in the way. Happy now?”

“Thrilled,” Dean grinned sadly, leaning back up against the wall, his eyes never leaving Sam’s sleeping form,  
“As I said before…It’s Sammy.”

“And?”

“I’ll give you the cliff-notes version, Harper, alright?” Dean tiredly started, closing his eyes,  
“My little brother was kidnapped by some hillbilly freak while I was in Purgatory for a year; he went blind and had to have his eyes removed. Are you happy now?” His voice cracked with emotion as he spoke.

Silence filled the other end of the line as Michael appeared to take it all in. Just as Dean was starting to wonder if he had made the worst mistake of his life, the older man sighed in what appeared to be a sad manner and spoke,  
“I’m so sorry, boy.”

“Yeah,” Dean choked out, lifting a hand and wiping away the tears that started to form in his green eyes, refusing to let them fall,  
“Me, too…”

With another sigh, Michael seriously continued,  
“It looks like you could use more then just a year’s worth of free rent, don’t you think, Dean?” As he was greeted with silence on the other end of the line, the older hunter continued,  
“I’ll tell you what. As a favor to Johnny for saving my sorry ass back in the day, you and Sam can stay as long as you need to. You just need to take care of your own selves, like food and whatnot, alright? Everything else is all on me. You can’t be out working a full-time job when your brother’s in this condition.”

Dean chuckled slightly through the tears that refused to stop,  
“You sound like my dad…”

Michael snorted again and relied,  
“He may have been an asshole, but he was a smart asshole. He talked enough about his sons back in the day long before he croaked and he knew how protective you are of that brother of yours.”

“Damn straight,” Dean growled, moving slightly forward back into Sam’s room as he saw his baby brother slowly starting to move around in the bed, soft moans coming from his mouth,  
“Listen, Michael, I’m gonna have to call you back-“

“Of course,” He replied,   
“Call again when you know when Sam will be released and I’ll go over more of the details. Until then, take care of your brother.”

Feeling like it was his father speaking those words whenever he left on a hunting trip when they were young, and even as they got older, Dean moved a hand until it was resting on Sam’s shoulder and answered,  
“It’s my job, Harper, what else would I do?”

0000

Michael Harper hung up the phone with a sigh and shoved the phone aside with a grunt, narrowing his eyes and glaring across the desk at the man standing in front of him,  
“There. Done. I hope you’re happy now…”

“Oh you have no idea,” The dark-haired figure replied with a chuckle, stepping closer and laying his hands on the desk facing the older man,  
“Now on to the other part of our deal-“

“What other part of our deal?” Harper snapped,  
“You agreed that if I got the Winchester brothers, specifically Sam, then you’d let my granddaughter go. THAT was our deal, remember?”

Tilting his head to the side, the figure smiled dangerously,  
“Maybe so,” The smile never left his face,  
“But you have to remember something. Not everyone tells the truth, you know?:” He held up his hand as Harper started to object,  
“Missy Bender was my friend and she gave me strict orders on what to do if anything should ever happen to her at the hands of Sam and Dean Winchester.”

Michael Harper glared in outrage, his gut churning with anger at those words,  
“So what are you gonna do? You’re gonna kill me? Is that it? You’re gonna kill my granddaughter-“

“Oh no, that would be way too easy,” The figure smirked, folding his arms across his chest,  
“I know everything that happened to Sammy Winchester back in the barn during those 10 months; I helped Missy with some of it. Your job, if you chose to accept it, is to get Dean’s trust. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?”

Michael’s nostrils flared with anger as he rose to his feet and stared the other man in the eye,  
“And if I chose not to?”

With a shrug, he answered nonchalantly,  
“Your granddaughter dies. But then again, she’ll die either way, you know-“

“You son of a bitch!” Michael growled, moving around to the other side of the desk and stood in the man’s face. Just as he was about to speak more, however, he let out a strangled gasp as he felt a pain pierce his chest. Looking down, he gasped as he saw the knife, still in his gut; he gasped again as he knife dug in deeper into him and he moved his hands to his chest, his hands coming away with nothing but blood on them,  
“Son of a bitch…” He mumbled weakly, pain slicing through every fiber of his being before he was unable to stand anymore. His last thoughts only on his granddaughter and what he had just done to betray the Winchester brothers, Michael Harper collapsed to the ground in a pool of his own blood.

With a grin, the figure knelt down and pulled the knife harshly out of the older man’s chest and held it up to inspect it,  
“Perfect,” He smiled widely as his Leviathan form suddenly changed into the very man he had just killed.

0000

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Sam remembered the first time it happened; how could he not remember it? It was etched inside his memory and even though his vision was gone forever, the memories of it all played out in his head like a movie on repeat. It was in every dream, every thought; and now that he was blind, it was even more so then before. He never knew when someone would enter the barn until it was too late; each time it would start, Jody would be asleep only to be awakened in the midst of it all but unable to do anything.

The younger Winchester had woken up early that night, feeling the weight of Dean’s hand still holding his to make his presence known and heard the soft snores coming from the chair beside him. He knew right then that his older brother was sound asleep; he had no idea what time it was, it had to be late. There were no noises coming from the halls and everything was peace and quiet. 

With a gentle pull, Sam carefully unhooked his hand from Dean’s and maneuvered his fingers around until they came to the IV still hooked in his arm. With a wince, he pulled it out and bit his lip, hoping Dean hadn’t woken up to the slight movement. When he didn’t wake up to his relief, Sam moved down the line and felt for any other machinery attached to his body. Feeling nothing else except for the never-ending bandages covering his face, Sam quietly lowered the bed bar on his right sight and swung his feet over the edge.

He held his breath as he felt along the unfamiliar walls of the hospital room, searching…searching…Every now and then, his bare feet would bump into a chair and it took everything in Sam to keep it from falling over and waking up his brother. Each time though, Sam only heard his brother move around slightly in his chair, mutter “Sammy” to himself quietly, before falling back to sleep. Sam held his breath as he moved his hands along the walls and soon felt the doorknob to the bathroom. 

As there was no point in turning on the lights, Sam shut the door behind him and fiddled with the lock until he was sure it was secure. There was no way he wanted his brother to wake up to him doing this; he would kill him himself…Shaking like a leaf, Sam brought his hands out in front of him again and felt his way to the sink and just stood there for a moment, trying to get his heart rate to settle down some. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to see it, but he didn’t care. His hands still worked and they’d be able to tell him what he needed to know.

As his hands trembled violently, Sam brought them back up to the thick bandages over his face and fumbled with the edges. He shook even harder as he started to pull apart the bandages and dump them into the sink, one by one. As it slowly unraveled around his head, Sam fully expected his brother to barge in on him at any minute but surprisingly, it was still quiet except for the pounding of Sam’s heart. Finally came the eye pads taped to his face with gauze. The younger Winchester winced slightly as he pealed them off one by one and pushed back any tears that were threatening to fall.

There. Done.

Not lowering his hands, he felt along his cheekbones and up to where his eyes had been and yes, he did feel his eyelids. Those were still intact. With hands shaking, he felt along his right eyelid and then his left, feeling nothing but the loose skin. He cringed slightly, his stomach tightening up in knots. Before he could stop it, Sam lowered himself down to the hard floor of the bathroom and fumbled for the toilet seat, lifting it up just in time to let lose the food in his system from that day.

As he heaved over and over again, the past 10 months flashed before him once again like a movie being fast forwarded, one by one. He barely heard the voice in the doorway calling his name as flashbacks took a hold of him and wouldn’t let go.

0000

Sam opened his hazel eyes with a start when he felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake, and he let out a startled cry as he attempted to sit all the way up straight but hit his head hard. With a moan of pain, he rubbed his head and cursed,  
“Shit…”

“You okay?”

Sam looked around him and felt his heart stopping at the sight of metal bars greeting him, surrounding him on all sides. He lifted his head and looked around, slowly remembering that this place looked vaguely familiar…He had been here before…With a shout of rage, he lunged forward and grabbed at the bars, pulling on them with all his strength. He lifted his foot and pushed against the door, continuing to tug. Nothing. Looking down at himself as he felt a rush of cold air, Sam looked down at himself and cursed again as he realized he had been stripped down to just his tee shirt and jeans. His boots and socks were also gone, which meant every means of escape were gone too.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/spn_thebenders_00961_zpsdfd594a9.jpg.html)

Gone to where though, heaven only knew.

“Are you okay, Sam?” The voice from behind him sounded again and Sam finally turned around, just now remembering that he wasn’t alone. Squinting behind him, he moved to the other side of the cage and saw Jody, locked up as well,  
“You’ve been out for a few hours…”

“I’m alright,” Sam groaned, rubbing his head again before reaching out to clutch at the bars of his prison,  
“I’ve been here before, Sheriff…”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/Untitled_zps435c2e2b.png.html)

“What do you mean?” Jody frowned worriedly,  
“When?”

“Years ago, back when Dean and I were still looking for our father,” Sam glared around him angrily,  
“They were a family of cannibals, I’m telling you. They all were killed, but…”

“But what?”

“One survived,” Sam suddenly remembered, his eyes widening just as the door to the barn creaked open,  
“Missy. The daughter. I’ll bet my life on it-“

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/wmplayer202006-02-152021-16-53-46_zps88a9ad2f.jpg.html)

“Looks like somebody got a little bit smarter with age,” A female voice sounded from behind him and Sam whirled to see the petite woman with wild red hair standing in front of his cage, her arms crossed over her chest, a smirk on her face. She would have been a pretty girl if it weren’t for her eyes. The danger, anger and hatred that lurked there was unmistakable,  
“Bravo, Sam.” She nodded over her shoulder and motioned for someone else to come forward. Sam leaned forward as far as he could go in time to see two figures, a man and a woman, come out from behind where Missy stood and moved to either side of her,  
“You two know what to do until I say so.” She smirked again and punched in a key code that opened the cage door. But before Sam could even get ready to push his way out, he felt a fist connect with his jaw and before he knew it, he was sprawled on the floor. As he was rubbing his sore jaw, his heart skipped a beat as he heard the door lock behind him again and Missy’s voice talking to her two companions,  
“You know what to do if anything should happen to me.” 

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/Supernatural_411_0458_zps4273ddcf.jpg.html)

Sam’s heart thudded in his chest as he silently ignored Jody’s calls for him from the cage beside his. What in the world could Missy have meant by that? If anything should happen to her? Something WAS going to happen to her, she was going to die, because Dean was going to find him. He always did and he always would; just like he would always try and save Dean even when it was nearly impossible. Wherever his brother had went to, wherever he had been these last 2 months, he would make it in time, he was sure of it…

“Are you so sure big brother will be there to save you this time around?” The female voice whispered into his ear and Sam soon felt a hand grasp his shoulder and with a strength he couldn’t believe she possessed, whipped him around until he faced her.

“Go to Hell,” Sam snapped, suddenly remembering the knife that should still be hidden in his jeans pocket. Knowing there was nothing to lose, he dug his hand into his pocket, pulled out the knife and jabbed it into the woman’s gut. But much to his shock and horror, he watched with his mouth hanging open as the woman sighed, rolling her eyes, and pulled the knife out, tossing it to the floor.

“Haven’t you learned by now that after hunting us for a whole year that you can’t kill us that way?” She smirked, stepping closer and throwing a look at her partner.

“Sam, be careful,” Jody whispered from behind him, feeling her own heart clench as the horror of just what these two creatures were struck her.

“Oh, we’re not gonna kill this one,” The man finally piped up, tossing a look back at Missy who was watching casually from the other side of the barn,  
“Missy here knows exactly what we are and she knows full well that we like to play with our food for a while before we actually eat it.”

Sam looked around for the knife and cursed to himself as he noticed that it had been tossed through the bars and out of the cage, far out of his reach. He backed up a bit until his back hit the bars and he shot a look of horror Jody’s way before turning around and glaring in hatred at the two Leviathans,  
“Give it your best shot then.” He steeled himself, refusing to show weakness even without any weapons on him. They could cage him, torture him and hurt him, but the one thing they couldn’t do was take away the part of him that made him Dean’s little brother. And Dean was coming-

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/wmplayer202006-02-152021-20-00-82_zps74f05348.jpg.html)

Before Sam could even think any further, the male had his arms pinned to his sides as the female descended onto him madly, all the while both of them whispering into his ear.

“Dean’s never coming back.”

“He’s in Purgatory because of you.”

“He didn’t survive.”

“He hates you.”

“He wishes he didn’t save you from that fire at Stanford.”

Dean…Dean…Dean…

0000

“Sammy!” Dean had finally given in and was now shaking his brother’s shoulders urgently. He had woken up frantically to find his blind little brother missing from his bed and just as he was about to have a panic attack, he had heard reaching coming from the bathroom.

Nothing could have prepared the older Winchester for the sight he saw: Sammy on the floor, the bandages off of his face, tears flowing down his cheeks as he threw up into the toilet. But what nearly had him almost calling for the doctor was when Sam went limp and had passed out right into Dean’s waiting arms.

“SAMMY!” Dean growled, feeling himself start to panic even more as his brother started to mumble to himself. With a careful hand, Dean laid the palm of his hand on his little brother’s head and ran it down until it laid against the back of his neck,  
“C’mon man, don’t do this…You’re okay, you’re okay…”

“Stop it…”

“Dude, it’s me.”

“Stop…”

“Sam!” Dean felt tears leaking from his eyes as his brother refused to snap out of it and with as much gentleness he could muster, he pulled Sam into his arms and cradled his head against his shoulder,  
“It’s only me, Sam, it’s Dean.”

“D’n…” Sam mumbled, his tone a question as if he wasn’t sure it was really his brother holding him. 

Feeling like he was seeing Sam suffering from his Lucifer hallucinations all over again, Dean bit his lip until it bled and closed his eyes tightly,  
“It’s me, bro.”

“Dean…”

“It’s okay,” He continued, never loosening his grip but starting to relax as soon as he felt Sam’s arms come up and around and hook onto him. That was a start. The rest they would deal with in just a few moments.

0000

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- God, I really need to write a lighter story after this one…the things I’m putting poor Sammy…it’s killing the author! *sigh* What the heck is wrong with me?? This chapter was hard to write, as you’ll see why in just a minute; it also deals heavily with sexual assault, so no like, please don’t read. Other then that, thanks for all the reviews and followers for this piece! See you in the next chapter!!

Chapter 13

“What the hell were you thinking, Sam?” Dean whispered urgently into his brother’s ear as Sam slowly started to come back to the land of the living,  
“Huh? You easily could have gotten yourself hurt.”

Sam shook his head silently, not moving his head from Dean’s shoulder; he really had no answer to that question. He wasn’t thinking, really. He knew that he had just wanted to get those damn bandages off and see…or in his case, feel, for himself that this wasn’t all just a sick, twisted version of a nightmare. And he was right. This was all real. It was as real as Lucifer’s cage had been, as real as Missy Bender caging and torturing him like a wild animal, it was as real as Dean himself who was sitting there holding him and just letting him do what needed to be done.

“I wanted to see for myself,” Sam finally answered quietly and then flinched,  
“Not see…you know what I mean…”

“That’s not funny, Sammy,” Dean gently admonished.

“I wasn’t aiming for it to be.”

“So what was the rush then, huh? And what was with the locked door? You’re lucky I had a lock pick on me and heard you getting sick in here just in time,” Dean shook his head, remembering waking up to that familiar sound of Sam getting sick in the middle of the night. His “Sammy radar” never failed him and tonight, it was on full blast, but when the older brother had rushed to the bathroom after seeing the empty bed and found the door locked, there was only one thing on his mind and that was getting into that bathroom,  
“Sammy? You scared the living snot out of me…”

Sam nodded his head slowly, never once lifting it from Dean’s shoulder, instead only tightening his arms around his waist,  
“Flashbacks…”

Dean was silent for a few moments, but kept his arms tight around his little brother so that he would know by the physical contact he was still there,  
“Tell me, Sam.” Before Sam got a chance to interrupt, Dean continued,  
“It’s tearing you up, I just saw that firsthand right here in this bathroom. And it’s tearing me up seeing it, bro. Now tell me.”

“You should go back to bed-“

“SAM.” Dean hardened his voice slightly when he said his brother’s name and Sam knew in that moment that his brother wasn’t going to let it be, not this time at least. His heart raced rapidly as he moved a hand to his cheek and wiped away a few stray tears before bringing it back around to hold onto Dean again.

“I think I may get sick again…”

“No, you won’t.”

Tears started up again at his brother’s words and he was reminded when Sheriff Mills had said words very similar to that shortly before Dean had found him in the cage. The words she had spoken were so very “Dean” and here he was, listening to his brother say those same words again. He drew in a shaky breath and let it out slowly, trying to bring up the courage to even start putting into words what he was feeling.

“You’ll hate me-“

Dean released his brother at those words and before Sam could continue, he had placed his hands on either side of his little brother’s face,  
“Does this feel like HATE to you, Sam?” His voice cracked, wanting to kill whoever it was that had inserted such thought’s into Sam’s brain. Not only was his brother so damaged physically, but emotionally and mentally as well and there was no forgiving that animal who had done that to Sammy,  
“Have you ever told me anything that wasn’t your fault and it ended with me telling you I ‘hate you’?” He waited until he saw Sam shake his head before finishing,  
“I didn’t think so. I would never ‘hate you’, Sammy…NEVER. You hearing me?”

Sam knew his brother would never lie about something like this to him; his brother had died and went to HELL of all places for him! That was not hate! But the words that were whispered into his ear day in and day out for months wouldn’t leave is head; it was like somebody had permanently imprinted them into his brain so that he would remember them and the pain for the rest of his pathetic existence.

“Just start with the flashbacks, kiddo,” Dean lowered his voice, letting it soften up so that his brother would feel completely at ease with telling him the truth,  
“Take your time. And don’t say nothing, because what I saw was not “nothing”, was it?”

“No,” Sam whispered, his voice barely audible to the human ear.

Dean continued to wait, his hands moving down to cup his baby brother’s cheeks in his gently.

“Dean…The Leviathans are still here, and Missy had befriended a few…” Sam began, lifting a hand and grasping one of Dean’s hands, needing something to hold onto for comfort,  
“She…seemed to had known one in particular really well, because she warned him that should anything ever happen to her…” The younger brother shook his head, remembering,  
“Missy didn’t say anything other then the fact that he knew what to do if anything happened to her…”

Dean tried to not let the fear show in his voice as he gently urged Sam on,  
“Keep going, Sammy.”

“I don’t know Missy had any contact them; all I knew was that these two liked to ‘play with their food’ before they bothered to eat it,” Sam lowered his head, trying to hide his face behind his hair, but Dean’s hands brought his chin back up even though he couldn’t see him and felt his hands move back to his cheeks,  
“Missy locked them in that cage with me every day for an hour that first month. The man…He always would hold me down, while the woman…” Sam shook his head, unable to even say the words. Just the very thought was making him feel ill all over again,  
“Jody couldn’t stop them from doing it, Dean…Missy had her locked up, too…The night Missy first took me…that was the first time…” His voice cracked, wanting more then anything to not reveal to Dean the next part,  
“Each time…Each time, they both would…”

Sam stopped suddenly, shaking his head as the words that were whispered into his head every day took hold once again.

“Dean hates you.”

“Dean’s never coming for you.”

“It’s because of you that your parents are dead, that Ellen and Jo are dead, that Bobby is dead.”

“If you were stronger, you’d be able to resist.”

“Even if Dean knew you were missing, he wouldn’t come and get you.”

“You do know that when he called you his pain-in-the-ass little brother that it wasn’t a term of affection, right? Neither was calling you a bitch.”

“Dean wishes you were never born.”

“After he found out about the demon blood, he wished he was still in Hell because he stopped loving you at that time.”

“He never loved you.”

“God damn it, not again!” Dean hissed, feeling his brother start to go limp all over again,  
“Sammy, wake up, damn it!” He shook his brother somewhat harshly for a few minutes until he heard his breathing return to normal,  
“My God, kid…” With a shake of his head, Dean pulled his brother back into the safe haven of his arms. They had to be going for some sort of record here; he couldn’t remember the last time he had done this, holding Sam as often as he did the last few days. It seemed like ages ago, but then again, that was back when the “No chick flick” really applied to every type of physical affection. There was no way in Hell he was going to do that now. Those rules could just go out the window as far as Dean was concerned. His brother needed physical contact now, especially to get him through the tragedy of what had happened to him, so if holding him and comforting him was what worked on Sam, then so be it.

“What in the world did they say to you, Sammy?” He started up again once the shaking in Sam’s shoulders started to lessen again.

“That you hated me…”

“Yeah, I got that much, Sam. What else?”

“That it’s my fault Bobby’s dead. Ellen, Jo, mom and dad…” Sam continued in a whisper, his voice holding so much heartbreak it was hurting Dean right along with him,  
“That-That you wished you were still in Hell after the demon blood and Ruby…”

Dean forced himself to not shout any curses at those last words, he was not going to startle his brother like that and force him to pull away from him again,  
“Go on.”

“That you wished you never sold your soul for me…that you…”

“That I what, Sam?” Dean feared whatever it was his brother was holding back. It had to be a doozy if Sam was scared of saying it; everything that he had said so far the older brother knew could be fixed, even if it took time, but this? Dean could only imagine what it was they had said to him…

“That you…didn’t love me.” Sam finally choked out, finally pulling away and hiding his face again, not wanting his brother to see the look on his face or his lack of eyes that were staring back at him. That was not what he wanted.

“Sammy-“

“No, don’t say it,” He interrupted, moving to unsteadily rise to his feet, holding onto the wall for support. He bit on his lip and didn’t object when he felt his brother’s arm wrap around his waist to guide him out of the bathroom,  
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Dean, please?” He begged, hating how weak and fragile he had become over the last year. He never got a chance to say a real goodbye to the former Sam Winchester from 10 months ago; he was dead and buried, he had died in that cage at the Benders barn…He had tried for so long to stay strong, to stay hopeful and to not let his weakness show. Sure, he had no weapons at the time, but he still had his strength even when Missy didn’t let him eat on specific days. He was still Sam Winchester and he was still a hunter and he had believed it.

0000

By the end of the first month, Sam slowly felt some of his strength starting to fade, only partially due to the fact that Missy refused to let him eat on a daily basis. On the few days she did, it was just scraps of leftovers that looked like it had just been picked from the dumpster. But Sam took whatever he could get at the time; if it meant he could keep some of his strength to fight off his attackers every day, then he would eat it.

What Missy didn’t know was that on the very few days she gave Jody a few extra portions of food, she would let Sam take it. Some days, it took some urging and prodding on Jody’s part to get him to accept it, but she always ended up winning and had always pushed the plate through the bars of Sam’s cage so that he could take it. On a few days, Missy unfortunately would find out what had been done, and that always would require another assault from the Leviathans. Once that had started, Jody was always more careful and always requested the plate be returned to her afterwards.

On this particular say, Sam woke up feeling worse then he had felt all month. Every morning when he awoke, he was always greeted with Missy’s smirk staring back at him. She would hardly ever say anything, but usually on those days he saw her, that meant no food and a much more brutal assault coming up that evening.

Forcing himself to not throw up as he sat up, being extra careful to not hit his head this time, he leaned his back against the corner of the cage and ran a hand through his long hair. It had been a full month and still there was no sign of Dean. If his brother had tried to call him, he wouldn’t have known it. He had seen that Missy had snatched his phone and it appeared to still be working whenever he caught her scrolling through his contact list. Now if only he was able to get to the damn thing.

He glanced over into Jody’s cage and saw that this morning, she was sleeping longer then she had previous days. His heart filled with relief; the Sheriff needed it after having stayed by his side throughout the assault and attempted to offer him whatever comfort she could afterwards. Sighing, he rubbed a hand down his face and slumped further to the floor, feeling his head pounding with a splitting headache. He was going to throw up, he just knew it…

Just as he thought he was going to get his stomach under control, the familiar creak of the barn door was opened and this time, only two figures walked in: Missy and the male Leviathan. Where was the female? Sam frowned as they walked closer to his cage and stared at him for a few minutes.

“Got a problem?” He snapped, not allowing himself to show any pain from the past month. They had hurt him in a way he never thought he would be hurt before, but he would be damned if he allowed them to see him vulnerable,  
“Because I’d really not like to see your ugly faces right about now-“

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/wmplayer202006-02-152021-10-57-51_zpsb4a00658.jpg.html)

“Oh come on, Sammy, don’t say that,” Missy purred sarcastically, placing her hands on her hips,  
“I thought you’d like his company more this time around.”

“What are talking about?” Sam snapped back, although he felt his stomach tie up in knots again.

“You know what I’m talking about,” Missy smiled back, punching in the code to the cage and opened the door far enough to let the Leviathan through before locking it back up. Turning her attention to her friend, she spoke directly to him while Sam watched, his back pressing up further against the bars,  
“Take your time. No need to hurry for me.” She smirked at him, blowing a kiss his way through the bars and stalked towards the door to the barn.

“No,” Sam mumbled to himself, not liking what this was coming to, not liking it at all. They couldn’t have been talking about what he thought they were,  
“Don’t you dare come near me-“

“You’ve got nowhere to go, Sam,” The Leviathan shrugged his shoulders,  
“You’re trapped. You have been for the past month. Do you see yourself going anywhere anytime soon?” He motioned to the cage’s bars around them and smiled at the trembling hunter,  
“A whole month, Sammy-“ 

“Shut up.”

“-And still no Dean. See, I told you he wasn’t coming. You do realize what this means, right?” The dark-haired Leviathan raised an eyebrow in question, smiling to himself as he watched Sam shoot him a death glare,  
“It means your brother doesn’t love you. He never has, he never did, and if he’s still alive…he never will.”

Sam turned his face towards the bars, he had been hearing this type of stuff for the entire month he had been prison here in this hell hole, and each time he heard it, it hurt like a bitch but he always knew the truth. Dean was his big brother, his only family, and he knew his brother didn’t hate him. He knew it deep down in his gut. But hearing it whispered to him day after day endlessly, it was slowly starting to take a little piece of his heart from him. He closed his hazel eyes tightly, mentally preparing himself for what he knew was to come as the Leviathan stared at him like a juicy stake. Gripping the bars tightly, he cringed and tried not to scream this time around as he felt it come.

0000

“....He was a friend of dad’s?” Sam was saying, listening as Dean explained two days later about Garth’s offer and his brother’s phone call to Michael Harper,  
“How come he never mentioned him?”

“Harper says they had a falling out after dad was an ass to him,” Dean replied, grinning slightly at the thought of finally having a permanent place to stay so that he could take care of his brother. And rent free. What could be better then that?  
“No surprise there. I’m not sure how long ago it was, but it had to have been long enough. Anyways, he’s offering us free rent and it’s close to a hospital, Sammy; that way you can still heal and even get prosthetics when you’re ready.”

Sam tried to smile at the thought, of having eyes again even if they were fake, but his mouth curved down into a frown again, the smile not staying put,  
“And you talked with him…what’s he like?”

“Like Bobby,” Dean replied instantly, remembering that first conversation he had with the older man,  
“He talks so much like Bobby, I almost wondered if they were related by any chance. But Bobby had no siblings or remaining family alive, so that’s not possible.”

Sam allowed a sad smile to cross his face at the mention of the man who was so much like a father to him and Dean. God, he missed him horribly; but then again, he did not want Bobby to see him like this, the man deserved to be happy and at peace. He would not put Bobby in the position to take him and Dean in because of what had happened to him.

“Sammy?”

“Yeah, I’m listening.”

Dean ran a hand through his short hair and then put it back in his lap,  
“Anyways, the only things we’d have to pay for are the usual. Food, gas, utilities, that type of thing.”

“Sounds almost like too good to be true,” Sam whispered, going over everything his brother said in his head.

“That’s what I thought at first, but this guy’s for real, believe it or not,” Dean chuckled lightly,  
“I talked with him a few times while you’ve been asleep and he said he would meet us here and we could follow him over; that way, neither of us would feel awkward just showing up.”

Sam nodded in understanding, leaning back against the pillow. As silence grew between the two brothers, he felt a hand grasp onto his and squeeze,  
“You gonna be okay with this, Sammy?”

The younger brother sighed softly and squeezed Dean’s hand back slightly,  
“Yeah.”

“Good, because I’m not gonna take you into something you don’t feel comfortable with.”

“It’s something that’s needed, though-“

“Not if it makes my little brother feel anything but okay,” Dean interrupted, keeping his hand in Sam’s as he laid his other hand on top,  
“This is being done so you can heel. Remember what my job is, Sammy?” Not getting a reply, Dean continued, his voice serious as he spoke,  
“Taking care of you. That’s still my job. And if we find out this isn’t the right place to be, we’ll find something else as long as you’re okay with it.”

“You too, Dean…”

“But you first,” Dean continued urging,  
“You come first, before me, before anything.”

0000

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

“You’re healing quite nicely there, Sam,” Doctor Brennan smiled softly between the two brothers, although he knew the youngest wouldn’t be able to see it. He placed a gentle hand on Sam’s shoulder as he spoke,  
“I don’t see any reason why you can’t be released later on this afternoon or tomorrow.” He shot a knowing look Dean’s way before turning his attention back to Sam,  
“And when you’re ready, son-and don’t feel the need to rush-we can see about getting you fitted for some prosthetics. As I’ve already discussed with your brother here, we have some pretty realistic looking ones that come in all colors to match the original.”

If Dean was expecting his brother to brighten up at the news, he was sadly mistaken as the dead look never left his brother’s face. The only way that he could tell that Sam had heard the doctor was by the nod of his head. He wasn’t surprised however; ever since Dean had first told his brother about Michael Harper’s offer and since his breakdown in the bathroom the other day, Sam seemed to had shut himself down emotionally. The tears and crying had stopped and every time Dean thought for sure another part of that dam inside his brother was going to burst open, Sam had pushed it all back and his face once more took on that of a stone statue.

Although Doctor Brennan wasn’t too happy about the fact that Sam had removed the bandages from his face earlier then he had wanted, and that he had done it himself without his brother’s knowledge, Dean knew just by the way the doctor acted that all was okay; he wasn’t hiding anything regarding Sam’s condition and really was healing physically. But now that the subject matter had moved to prosthetics, the older brother wasn’t even sure anymore if Sam even wanted to attempt it. Honestly, he couldn’t blame him for it; it would most likely make the situation seem all the more real. 

He glanced over at his little brother and took in the dark shades he had given him the previous day. Heck, Dean wouldn’t be surprise if Sam would just settle with the shades and say “Screw it” to everything else. He glanced back over at the doctor, all the while giving his brother’s hand a gentle squeeze of reassurance,  
“Is there anything we need to know before he’s released?”

Doc Brennan tucked Sam’s chart under his arm after making a few minor notes,  
“I’ll be giving you boys some ointment and antibiotics to fight off infection and other then keeping up with your regular post-op appointments, Sam, I’d say you’re nearly good to go.”

“Thank you, doc,” Dean smiled slightly, squeezing Sam’s hand again as he watched the doctor leave the room. As soon as he disappeared down the hall to continue his rounds, Dean rose to his feet and shut the door behind him,  
“That’s great news, isn’t it, kiddo?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Sam whispered softly, nudging the sunglasses back up onto his nose with his finger,  
“I just don’t know about the prosthetics though, Dean…”

Dean frowned slightly, his suspicions realized right there,  
“Can you tell me why, Sammy?”

Sam shook his head hard, not having the heart anymore to get into it. He knew he was shutting down and that his brother was concerned with his lack of emotion lately. But ever since he had that breakdown that night…it was like all he wanted to do now was shut it all off and not think about it. Because if he did relive it, if he did really and truly TALK about it…then that would make it real, and that was something Sam was not ready for. If there was one thing he wished was a hallucination, it was this.

“Why not?” Dean prodded gently, moving his other hand to put on top of Sam’s,  
“You’ve stopped confiding in me, Sam-“

“-Because then it would be real,” Sam blurted out, lowering his head as he allowed his hair to fall into his face, shielding any emotions he feared were there,  
“And I don’t want it to be real-“

“But you can’t hide from it, Sam, and pretend it isn’t real,” Dean continued pushing, hating himself for doing this, but there was no other choice in the matter,  
“Because it is. As much as we both want to deny it, Sammy…”

Sam slowly lifted his head, but didn’t turn towards Dean’s voice,  
“I just don’t want to try to prosthetics just yet; maybe later.”

Deciding it would be best to drop the issue for the time being, Dean nodded with a sad sigh,  
“It’s up to you, Sam, but this conversation isn’t over by a long shot.”

Not wanting to discuss it anymore, as he could feel the dam inside of him rising to the surface and about to boil over, Sam felt his lower lip starting to tremble just slightly but stopped it just as he could sense Dean’s gaze on him again. Before his brother could speak however, he changed the subject,  
“Has Mr. Harper arrived yet?”

Dean knew what his little brother was doing by changing the subject that quickly; he could see the slight tremble of his lower lip before he set his jaw and pushed it all back down. But he chose not to comment or make it noticeable that he saw it by replying to his brother’s question,  
“No, he was actually supposed to arrive last night I believe-“

Before Sam could reply however, a knock on the hospital door sounded and an unfamiliar voice spoke up,  
“Did I just hear my name?”

Jumping slightly, his heart rate quickening, Sam gripped his brother’s hand tighter, silently urging him to not leave his side even as he heard him reply,  
“Michael Harper?”

“That would be me,” The older man replied with a warm smile as he walked into the room, holding his hand out for Dean to shake,  
“Dean, I presume?”

Frowning slightly as he continued to grip his brother’s hand in his, suddenly feeling him start to tremble, Dean kept a hold on Sam with one hand while with the other held out to willingly shake with Harper,  
“That’s right,” He replied slowly, suddenly feeling a strange unease come over him. Trying to not let his anxiety show in front of both his little brother or this man who had known their father, Dean smiled tentatively and continued,  
“Look, I’m sorry, we were just expecting you last night is all-“

“Sorry about that, but something came up that had to be taken care of immediately,” The man interrupted, all the while adjusting the cap on his head. Dean’s frown deepened as Sam’s grip on him only tightened, and he found himself staring at the man in front of him, suddenly feeling his stomach twist into knots just being in his presence. The last thing he wanted to do was be rude, but he couldn’t ignore this; plus, this man reminded him too much of Bobby all the way down to the bald head and baseball cap.

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude here, but…” He gestured towards his brother who trembling only started to intensify and Dean’s big brother protectiveness suddenly took over.

“Oh, of course,” The smile never left the strange man’s face, but instead of turning and walking out the door to give the brothers privacy, Harper moved closer to Sam’s bed and leaned closer,  
“I just wanted to introduce myself first to your brother here; you two boys sure got big since the last time I saw ya.” Without asking, he reached down and grasped Sam’s hand in a forced shake,  
“Since I’ll be getting to know you boys-“

Dean’s frown turned into a hard glare as Sam flinched at the violated touch and yanked his hand away, tucking himself closer to where his brother was sitting. Without a second thought, the older Winchester rose to his feet and towered over his brother’s bed, staring Harper down dangerously,  
“If you so much as TOUCH him like that again, I will kill you. And just because you’re a friend of my dead father’s, don’t think I won’t.” His glared hardened even more as Harper’s smile changed into a smirk,  
“Am I going to have to throw you out?”

Not expecting a response, Dean watched as the man’s eyes never left Sam’s face as he slowly walked out the door, closing it behind him. Sitting on the edge of Sam’s bed, he wasted no time in grasping his brother’s cheeks in his and lifting his head up,  
“Jesus, are you alright, Sammy?” He felt a lump in his throat as he felt his brother’s pulse racing,  
“Sammy? Sam, answer me, damnit!”

As his brother started to calm down a bit, Dean kept his hands where they were and gently prodded,  
“What the hell happened there, bro? It was like you couldn’t breathe-“

“That’s not Harper, Dean,” Sam interrupted, feeling the first of the tears he was able to hold back until now. Until Harper had touched him. That touch was something he had never forgotten, even if it was something as simple as a touch on the hand. Call it a sixth sense, call it what you want; but that same feeling he got that time all those years ago when he and Dean had visited their childhood home…when he was having his visions…  
It was a different feeling, sure, but it was that same type of feeling that never left and one that said he was in the presence of the very being who had assaulted him so violently.

“What do you mean, Sammy?” Dean desperately urged, wiping away the tears that started rolling down his brother’s cheeks.

“I mean…that’s the Leviathan that…that…”

“That hurt you,” Dean finished as he saw Sam was not going to be able to continue. Anger surged through his being right then, towards Garth, towards the real Michael Harper, and then was suddenly replaced with a deep fear,  
“That’s the Leviathan that assaulted you, am I right?”

Sam nodded his head in a jerky puppet’s nod, hating himself for giving in this way, but he couldn’t stop himself,  
“It’s him, Dean, I know it. You have to believe me, I know it is-“

“Shh, shh,” Dean soothed as best he could, reaching out and grabbing his brother in a crushing hug,  
“You bet your ass I believe you; that’s not the same man I talked with on the phone the other day…”

“Then what…?” 

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out,” Dean growled, keeping his voice as low as possible to not startle Sam and also so that “Harper” wouldn’t hear from the doorway. But hell, he probably already heard everything they were saying. The two brothers had enough experience battling these sons of bitches back when they were going after Dick Roman,  
“And before you even ask, no, we’re not staying in that apartment.”

“We have no choice-“

“Yes, we do,” Dean interrupted again, tightening his arms around Sam protectively. He didn’t know much else right now, but he did know that if there was one place “Harper” could not hurt his baby brother, it was right here with him,  
“I’ll get a hold of Garth immediately, tell the son of a bitch what’s going on and we’ll crash in a motel.” Feeling a flinch coming from Sam, Dean ran a hand through his brother’s long hair and continued reassuringly,  
“We’ll stay there for now, until we get this sorted out. And we WILL get it sorted out, tiger, I promise. We’ve got enough money to stay in a motel for about a week, and I promise we’ll have it figured out by then.”

0000

By the time Dean had snuck his brother out of the hospital doors and had helped him into the Impala, he was already on the phone with Garth, anger churning through his body as he drove,  
“What the hell, Garth!” He snapped in fury,  
“You swore we could trust him and he turns out to be a fuckin’ Leviathan?!” He lowered his voice as he saw his brother flinch next to him. Silently apologizing with a light squeeze of his hand, Dean continued,  
“I’m telling you, that was not the man I talked to on the phone, buddy. Yes, I’m sure! And get this, he was gone-GONE-by the time I went to go and check on him. So either your friend has been tricking you the whole time or you’re too dense for your own good! Take your pick!” The older brother pressed his foot on the gas petal and continued driving like a bat out of hell down the highway,  
“Then figure it out, Garth, because I’m not risking my little brother!” Without waiting for a reply, he snapped the phone shut and shoved it back into his pocket.

Glancing over to the passenger seat, Dean took in how his brother was folded in on himself as he slept, the shades still settled on his face and his arms wrapped around himself protectively,  
“We’re gonna get far away, Sammy, as far away from this shit as possible.” Dean snuck a one-eyed glance his way and felt his heart break into more pieces as all he heard where the silent sobs coming from Sam even in sleep. The older Winchester went over the last couple of days in the hospital in his mind and remembered how Sam had refused to cry and show emotions after his breakdown; now, he just wished that there was something he could do to make it all stop,  
“What do I do, Sammy?” He whispered to nobody in particular, not expecting any sort of answer. As he kept his eyes on the road, Dean suddenly felt his hand being squeezed lightly. Startled, he glanced over at his brother and saw him turned slightly his way; it was almost as if his brother had heard his question even in sleep.

“Just be there.”

0000

TBC


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sam awoke with a start when he felt the gentle shake on his shoulder; it couldn’t have been at a better time, really. For what felt like years, he was trapped inside a living nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. It seemed to be the same thing over and over again every time he fell asleep. Not even the gentle hum of the Impala and the feel of the soft leather seat that he was so accustomed to did the trick.

Sitting straight up in the seat, he moved his head towards where he was sure Dean was still sitting beside him and mumbled shakily,  
“Are we there?”

Seeing how badly his little brother was trembling from head to toe, Dean reached out and grasped Sam’s wrist gently, keeping it there as he spoke,  
“We’re here. We’ll be staying here until we figure out what’s going on and then we’ll look into getting situated into some place more comfortable, alright?”

Unable to speak as his nightmare was still flashing in his head, Sam just nodded his head and clasped onto Dean’s hand tightly.

“I’m gonna go get us checked in. Want to come with me?” Dean normally didn’t ask his brother this question. Any other time, he normally would just let Sam stay in the car while he booked them a room; but this was not any other time and nothing about their situation was normal anyways. He watched as the look on Sam’s face changed to a look of fear and his grip on his hand tightened. Sensing what his brother was saying without saying anything at all, Dean nodded his head and squeezed Sam’s hand gently in return,  
“Alright then. Just hang tight a sec.”

“Don’t…” Sam uttered, his voice trembling.

“Don’t worry, Sammy, you’re coming in with me,” Dean climbed out of the car quickly, and moved around to the passenger side,  
“If you think for one second I’m going to seriously consider leaving you in here by yourself, think again, little brother.” He moved his hand until Sam had grabbed it again and slipped his other arm under his elbow to help him out of the car,  
“We’re parked right in front of the office, Sammy, so it won’t take long.” As soon as they were standing, Dean slipped his arm around his brother’s waist and gently guided towards the door. Before they entered, he turned back to Sam and asked gently,  
“You gonna be okay, bro?”

Knowing this was his first time out in public-besides the hospital-since he was kidnapped a year a go, Sam’s fear reached a new height at that moment. But at the same time, he knew he didn’t want to be left alone, especially when he couldn’t see squat,  
“I’ll be fine.”

Understanding just by looking at his baby brother that he was anything but “fine”, the older Winchester chose not to comment and instead, led them into the front office. He inwardly groaned under his breath as he saw that the main lobby was more crowded this afternoon. Choosing not to say anything, he kept his arm hooked around Sam to help him along, ignoring the raised eyebrows from the woman behind the counter and from the two giggling teenagers sitting at a table off to the side. He watched out of the corner of his eye as one of them, the blonde, pointed at them and then covered her mouth with her hand, holding back more giggles. 

“Wonder what the sunglasses are for,” He vaguely heard her whisper to her friend, the red-head,  
“It’s not like it’s sunny outside.”

“They’re either gay or the tall one’s blind as a bat,” The red-head relied not so quietly, wrinkling her nose,  
“Too bad. I wouldn’t go with either. The guy’s supposed to take care of me, remember?” Both girls threw their heads back and laughed, ignoring the dirty looks a family of four threw their way as they walked past them and back out the door.

“Carrie! That’s enough!” The woman behind the counter suddenly snapped as soon as the Winchester brothers were the only ones left standing at the front counter. The two girls appeared to quiet down just a hair before the blonde whispered something back to her friend and the red-head snorted with laughter. Rolling her eyes, the woman behind the counter turned back to the brothers and shook her head,  
“You’ll have to excuse them; they’re teenagers, what do you expect?” She attempted a shaky smile, which soon disappeared as she saw the deadly glare thrown her way by the shorter of the two.

Before either spoke, however, Sam shrugged out from his brother’s arm and took a tentative step back,  
“I’ll wait in the car, Dean…”

“Sammy-“

“Just-I just need to wait in the car,” His voice started trembling with fear all over again; he had heard everything crystal clear that had been said and he didn’t want to hear anything else. The last thing he wanted was to be standing here and be the butt of everybody’s jokes when they knew nothing about him. Without waiting for his brother’s response, Sam turned on his heal and instantly ran head-on into a hard body standing behind him. 

“Watch it, pal!” The man snapped heatedly, glaring angrily at the younger Winchester as he stumbled back into Dean’s arms. 

Now shaking from head to toe, Sam shrugged out of his brother’s grasp and moved forward to where he thought the door was, but immediately tripped over a chair, falling to his knees. Hearing the girls giggles once again in his ears, Sam shoved himself up and away from Dean’s reaching hands and stumbled out the door until he rammed into the hood of the Impala. Leaning against it with his hands resting on the engine’s hood, he lowered his head and allowed himself to sob in the motel parking lot.

0000

Dean was livid.

No, that was putting it lightly. He was fuming. Not only had these two little girls made fun of his brother, but the woman behind the counter who he assumed was the blonde’s mother, didn’t seem to give a rat’s ass. And that heavy set guy who had appeared out of nowhere? All Dean knew was that there would be a few dead human bodies on the ground if he didn’t get answers now.

“I’m only going to say this once, so you all had better listen to me,” He threatened, his voice dangerously low as he looked between the big guy who towered over him and the three females,  
“If either of you so much as look, touch or talk to my brother ever again, you will have to deal with me. And believe me, you do NOT want to deal with me when it comes to my brother.”

“That freak?” The fat guy chortled,  
“That was your brother? What, was the guy blind or something, he just ran right into me without apologizing-“

“He just had surgery to have his eyes removed, you son a bitch!” Dean shouted, shooting a glare at the mother and the two girls, who had finally stopped snickering and now actually had the nerve to look guilty,  
“Did you hear what I just said? He IS blind and this was his first time out in public and THIS is what happens? What kind of service do you have here, lady?” He growled at the older woman, pleased to see a few tears brimming in her eyes at his words,  
“Oh and by the way, my brother and I would like a room.”

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” The woman replied, shaking her head sadly,  
“I really am.”

Not wanting to hear any apologies from any of them, Dean glared over at the two teenagers and lowered his voice,  
“You two had better start thinking before you open your mouths next time. You never know what someone has been through in their lives and you won’t know their full stories, just like you don’t know Sam’s.”

“Sorry,” The blonde mumbled, her face turning a bright red as she refused to meet Dean’s flashing green eyes.

With a shake of his head, Dean snatched the motel room keys from the cashier and slammed a wad of money down on the counter,  
“By the way, before we leave at the end of the week, I’d like to have a word with your supervisor.” As soon as she nodded her head silently, Dean turned back around, ignoring everyone now and rushed back to the Impala.

Seeing his baby brother hunched over the hood of the car, his shoulders shaking hard, Dean said nothing as he came up behind him and wrapped an arm around him, guiding back to the passenger seat. Instead of climbing in on the other side, though, the older brother knelt down and laid a hand on Sam’s shoulder,  
“They won’t bother you again, Sammy, I promise.”

Wiping the tears from his face with the back of his hand, Sam shook his head,  
“They were right-“

“Like hell they were, Sam,” Dean growled angrily, the tone of his voice leaving no room for argument,  
“I swear to you, kiddo, they won’t come near you. I’ve taken care of it.”

Still shaking, Sam lowered his head until his hair fell in front of his sunglasses, trying to hide the remaining tears on his cheeks. He didn’t say anything even as he felt Dean reach for him and pull him against his shoulder. Dean may have taken care of it, but Sam’s heart now even heavier then before. 

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_mbe1twy12M1r7l00io2_500_zps631e7334.png.html)

0000

Sam’s screams turned to torturous cries as Missy moved the red-hot poker from his left eye to his right, starting the pain all over again. His back arched and he tried to fight off the Leviathan that was holding him down, but he was weaker now. He hadn’t eaten all week this time around and he was getting thinner and thinner as the weeks went by. Shooting pain sliced through his eyes as Missy laughed; he never got used to that laugh, she really was enjoying everything that she was doing to him.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/01x15thebenders1466uy_zps39386333.jpg.html)

His eyes burning as Missy finally lowered the poker, Sam slumped to the floor of his cage and did nothing this time to stop the cries that were escaping him. Sensing someone lean closer to him, Sam flinched and covered his destroyed eyes with his hands,  
“That’s for the last escape attempt, Sammy,” Missy whispered into his ear,  
“And because of that, I’ll be back this evening for a little more punishment.” She leaned back and gestured to her friend,  
“You can leave now until further notice. Remember what I told you.” 

Unsure how to respond as he was in such excruciating pain at the moment, Sam shook his head as he heard the door to the cage lock up again and the two figures walked out of the barn. His shoulders shook as he kept his hands over his eyes; it hurt to even blink, let alone attempt to open them, and pain shot through his whole body once more that he didn’t pay any attention to the tearful, concerned voice coming from behind him. He knew it was Sheriff Mills and he knew she had seen the whole thing, but he couldn’t be comforted right now. 

All he wanted was Dean.

Fear and terror took a hold of him and didn’t let go as his mind travelled over the last couple of months-heck, even the last couple of days. Missy had said she would be back with more punishment and he knew what that meant. The female Leviathan had disappeared somewhere and that left only the male and Missy. Over the course of the last couple of months, it had been Missy herself who had been torturing and assaulting him over and over again. It didn’t happen every day, but when it did, it was worse each time. To think that he would have to go through all that again…only this time blind?

Sobs shook through him as he curled up in the corner of the cage, pressing himself up against the bars,  
“Dean, where are you?”

0000

The nightmares were so vivid in Sam’s head each time, it was almost like he could see again if he was perfectly honest with himself. But he knew that really wasn’t the case. This nightmare in particular was a little bit different then the last couple of ones, but the horror was still the same, if not worse this time around. It was almost like he could feel himself being assaulted all over again, and it brought tears streaming down his face even in sleep.

He tried to cry out, to tried to fight, but nothing worked. It was like he had gone mute as well as blind! The face hovering over him suddenly changed from the dark-haired Leviathan he was used to, to that of the face of Michael Harper. Sam opened his mouth to scream and this time, was shocked when he actually was able to hear his voice.

But as he slowly awoke to the feel of hands clutching either side of his face, he only awoke to blackness just like before. He was still blind, yes, but Michael Harper’s face wasn’t looking down at him this time. But there was something else he was trying to make out as well; there was an urgent voice crying out his name.

“S’mmy! S’mmy? Sammy!”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_lq6tscfASb1r1t8t7o1_r1_500_zps12c6d368.jpg.html)

Feeling himself start to come out of it and now able to really make out Dean’s words, Sam drew in a harsh breath and reached his hands out, attempting to feel what he knew was already there,  
“Dean.” With shaking hands, he felt along his brother’s own hands and up to his shoulders,  
“Dean…please…”

“You’re okay, Sammy,” Dean repeated the same words he had been telling his brother since he had first found him. He knew that if he kept saying them, his little brother would eventually believe them; that he would eventually believe him again, that he wasn’t going anywhere,  
“I’m here.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/144cnn_zpsfcf2ecaf.jpg.html)

Not sure what to expect from Sam at that moment as his face twisted up in many different emotions, Dean had to bite his lip from crying out loud as he felt his brother’s hands land on his shoulders and then pulled himself back into his brother’s embrace. Dean let out a soft sigh of relief as his arms encircled his baby brother and allowed Sam to fall apart.

0000

TBC


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Another one scene only chapter, but one I feel is needed! Just like the brother reunion chapter, there is no proper place to have another scene included. Til the next chapter!

Chapter 16

“I can’t keep doing this,” Sam whispered some time later, not having moved from his safe position in his brother’s arms the entire time,  
“I can’t…”

“Then talk to me, Sammy,” Dean softly urged back,   
“Get it out of you.”

“How?” 

“However you want to, kiddo,” The older brother replied back patiently, running a hand carefully through his brother’s tangled hair,  
“You just have to.”

Sam shook his head against his brother’s chest, slowly starting to release his hold on his brother until he felt Dean pull him back in without hesitation. No words were spoken between the two for several more minutes before Sam began in a choked up voice,  
“I’m so sorry about earlier-“

“For what? In the motel lobby?” Not waiting for a reply, Dean forced back a growl from his voice as he felt the urge to punch the living daylights out of those people again,  
“That was their own fault, Sam, and you know it. They couldn’t see past their own prejudices and judged before without knowing you.”

“I’m just sorry I embarrassed you like that-“

“Enough,” Dean firmly interrupted again, still not releasing his hold around his little brother,  
“Just…enough of that. Enough of the apologies, Sam. Do you really think I think that way of you?”

“No,” Sam immediately replied, a little too quickly. Backing up a ways, he continued,  
“I mean, I don’t think so…”

“Can you tell me what made those thoughts even enter your mind?” Dean tried again. He already knew from what Sam had told him what the Leviathans and Missy had said to him as they had assaulted him, but how could it had gotten so bad that his brother would start to believe it? It killed him to no end at that very thought, that his brother was so torn up that he doubted Dean’s own feelings towards him, even the ones that remained unsaid,  
“I know some of what those sons of bitches said to you, but I need to know more to help you, Sammy…”

Sam felt himself starting to shake with fear and exhaustion; he knew deep down that his older brother didn’t believe any of those things about him, he really didn’t, but the words were still in the back of his mind, the “what ifs”, the “maybes”. Every single one of them. Plus, Dean himself had went through his own hell filled year in Purgatory and he didn’t know what kind of affects that trip had done to his brother. When would Dean reach that point where he would say “Forget it” when it came to his brother and wanted nothing more to do with Sam and his problems?

“Sammy?”

Sam wanted to sob at just that one single nickname. He remembered a time years back when Dean had first gotten him from Stanford and he gotten so annoyed at that nickname every time his older brother had used it. Sam didn’t know when that had changed, maybe when he almost lost his brother for the first time, he wasn’t sure. Now, whenever Dean used it, it was like this reassuring comfort, something that only Dean could pull off. Something only Sam allowed his brother to use.

“It wasn’t just the Leviathans, Dean,” Sam started, pressing his face back into his brother’s shoulder as he clutched tightly to Dean’s tee shirt,  
“What I told you the other day in the hospital…about how Missy…how she hurt me every day that first month?” He felt Dean nod his head silently,  
“That wasn’t all true…” He sucked in a shaky breath, mentally preparing himself as he felt warm tears cascade down his face,  
“She brought in the Leviathans one day one. Right after I woke up in that cage…She brought in two Leviathans, one male and one female.” He stopped, waiting in fear for his brother’s response and continued nervously when he got none,  
“The female…she r-raped me the first day while the other held me down.” He choked on a sob he was trying to hold in as he spoke,  
“It was the female the first month, and then…then…”

“Then what, Sammy?” Dean carefully pushed, moving his hand to rest on the back of Sam’s head as he continued to cradle him like a child.

“Then…starting the second month, she put the male on me…the one who was impersonating Mr. Harper,” Sam confided, feeling himself start to tremble violently,  
“One that started…Missy herself…She joined in, as she liked to put it. Jody and I-We tried many times to escape, we had different ideas that we put together when we were alone. It took it 8 months…8 months to come up with our last plan, but that…”

Dean couldn’t bring himself to interrupt his brother, knowing this was a fragile and horrific thing Sam was reliving and he needed to get it out. This was a start and he wasn’t about to put a stop to it. This was the only way his baby brother could even start to heal properly.

“That last time was the last straw in her eyes,” Sam felt his tears come faster and his heart rate speed up with each word he spoke,  
“She caught me, Dean; that was when she blinded me…The pain…She was having so much fun with it, the male was holding me down the whole time and Jody couldn’t help…”

Sam slightly pulled back from his brother finally and shakily reached under his shirt where he knew the amulet was still hanging around his neck,  
“I just…I just prayed every day that they never found this,” He fingered it in his hand and gripped it tightly,  
“I-I kept it hidden from view the whole time, I couldn’t bear it if they found it and took that, too.” His voice shook as he slowly placed it back under his shirt and felt Dean reach for his hand and squeeze,  
“That day that Missy…that she took my sight away, that was when she-she raped me longer and harder then the previous months…I don’t know what happened to the female Leviathan, Dean, but-but I heard Missy tell the male that he was free to go until further notice…”

“What else did they say to you, Sammy?” Dean whispered tearfully, not allowing his voice to show the emotions that were raging through him,  
“What other lies did they place in your head?”

Sam lowered his head even though there was nothing his brother couldn’t see on his face right now. He allowed his long hair to cover his face partially as his grip on his brother’s hand tightened,  
“Every day one of them…did that…that day, the other one would always whisper those things to me. Every day. Not a day went by when it wasn’t done. I held on as long as I could, Dean, I promise you I did…”

“I know you did.”

“One of the things that stands out the most to me, right before Missy burned my eyes out…” Sam continued in a strangled whisper,  
“Before she did it…She told me that was the day that the old me was going to die; that if I wasn’t broken and torn apart yet, I would be now…She was right, Dean. She was right about all of that…The old Sam Winchester died in that barn that day; I was able to stay strong, to hold on, to try my damndest to keep my faith. To believe you weren’t dead, but it got harder and harder…I eventually really believed it…”

“And that’s why you were so shocked when you heard my voice over the phone,” Dean finished for him, releasing Sam’s hands so that he could take him back into his arms.

Sam nodded his head slightly under his brother’s chin,  
“Missy took my phone the day she took me. She continuously mocked me, saying she had it and that if you were alive, you’d have called…that you would come and help…”

Dean closed his green eyes tightly and bit his lip to keep from screaming out loud. He swore silently to himself; if there a way he could bring Missy Bender back from the dead just to torture her again and burn her own eyes again, he would gladly do it with a sick pleasure. Guilt continued to tear at his insides as he patiently listened to his little brother pour his heart out to him.

“The day I first awoke in that cage after she had kidnapped me, I held onto that fact that somehow you would still find us…I knew that nothing I had done in the first two months you were missing had helped, but you’d always come before…It was the only thing I could think of when they r…when they hurt me that way…”

“You had such a faith in your big brother,” Dean whispered into his brother’s hair,  
“Know this, Sam. Even if I was dead, I would have found a way to crawl out of wherever I was to find you. Know why?”

“Why?”

“Because nothing,” Dean stressed each word as he spoke them, tightening his arms around Sam’s shoulders,  
“Nothing will keep me from saving you, not even Purgatory or Hell itself. I’ve been saving you since you were 6 months old and I’m sure as hell not going to stop now.” He laid a careful hand on the back of Sam’s head again and left it there for a few moments as he spoke into Sam’s ear,  
“I promise I won’t. Do you trust me?”

Sam was silent for a brief moment before nodding his head,  
“Yeah.”

“Then we’ll figure all of this out,” Dean continued,  
“This whole Michael Harper, Leviathan shit won’t last long and when it’s over, we’ll find ourselves a permanent place. I’m going to help you heal, Sammy, but you have to talk to me instead of burying them deep like this. I won’t allow that anymore.”

“How are you going to help with this?” Sam uttered, his voice still filled with a pain that broke Dean’s heart,  
“I can’t…”

“I have some ideas, tiger, you don’t worry about that,” Dean calmly spoke, not allowing his brother to doubt him on this,  
“Nothing will happen to you from this point on, I swear.” He closed his bright green eyes, wanting more then anything to say what was on the tip of his tongue, the words that he felt his brother so desperately needed to hear, but he shoved it down. Sam wasn’t ready to hear him tell him this; yes, his brother trusted him, believed him, but he had suffered so much abuse at the hands of those monsters and so many lies had been inserted into his head, that Dean didn’t know if Sam would believe THIS just yet. Just the thought of Sam not believing it tore at the older Winchester, but he shoved those feelings aside for the moment and continued running his hand through his brother’s hair,  
“I swear.”

0000

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

As Sam attempted to fall asleep that night, his brother sitting up against the headboard next to him and his arm loosely draped across his shoulders, the younger Winchester fought with everything in him to keep the never-ending tears at bay. It had been several hours already since he had finally spilled his heart out to Dean and yet, he still couldn’t fall asleep. His older brother had insisted on staying up with him that night, to help him sleep without nightmares, and even though his head practically lay in the crook of Dean’s arm right now”, flashes of memories still invaded his thoughts.

“Quit fighting it, Sam,” Dean finally whispered, running his hand up and down his brother’s shoulder, ignoring the slight ache in his back from where he sat,  
“Just let it come. I’ll wake you if you start having any nightmares, you know that.”

“…That’s all I can think about,” Sam whispered tiredly. He was just plain exhausted and he wished with everything in him that for once he could get a good night’s sleep. A good full 8 hours of sleep,  
“Every single time…”

“Then think of what makes you happy,” Dean suggested, moving his hand to run carefully through Sam’s hair,  
“What’s your happiest memory, Sammy?”

A slight flash of a smile appeared on Sam’s face just then, despite the tears that where still drying on his cheeks,  
“That Christmas when I was 8…”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/imagesCANUMCXY_zps778d2834.jpg.html)

Dean closed his eyes tightly for a brief moment, fighting back his own emotions as he remembered that year. It was that year Sam had given him the amulet, it was the year he had first told his little brother about the supernatural and had promised him a Christmas even though their father had broken yet another promise,  
“Then think of that one, kiddo.” Dean urged,  
“What other memory makes you happy?”

A slight laugh, mixed with a soft sob, escaped Sam’s lips as he replied,  
“Our pranks.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/497630_1279770056402_full_zpscbe03994.jpg.html)

“Damn straight,” The older brother nodded his head, allowing a tiny small to appear on his own face at just that memory,  
“Although I don’t know if I can ever forgive you, Sammy, for super-gluing my hand to that bottle…”

Another small, tired laugh escaped Sam as he reached for his brother’s free hand and felt him clasp it tightly in his,  
“…Deserved it, Dean.”

Feeling the tension slowly starting to loosen up in Sam’s shoulders, Dean moved to rub his hand up and down his brother’s back,  
“Sleep, Sammy.”

0000

The Leviathan had known from the start that appearing in the hospital room posing as Michael Harper would not go over well with either Winchester brother. The older brother had this sick knack of always hovering over his sibling, protecting him from anything and everything, and he always was able to tell if something was amiss; you could always tell what he was thinking just by the look in his eyes. He never even had to say it. The younger one however, the same one who he had enjoyed playing with for those past 10 months, had had a full blown panic attack right from the start when he had first entered the room. Hell, the boy was the blind and he still had that sixth sense!

Yes, he admitted to himself, it would have been a lot of fun to have managed to drag them back to the real Michael Harper’s home, make them believe they were safe, and slowly torture them. But this was better, the more he thought about it.

He was not like any of the other Leviathans, he knew that from the moment he was created. Unlike his brothers and sisters-and especially Dick Roman-he had always had a pleasure of torturing and playing with his food before making the leap and devouring. That was what had brought him to Missy Bender in the first place. From the beginning, her smell was as juicy and rich as any other human and he had fully intended on making the most of this one and enjoying it. That was until he found out that she knew all about him and that she was more like him then he had thought.

It was soon revealed to the monster that she had done her research, that she was on the hunt for the most terrifying supernatural creature to help her out with something important. To find out later on that it involved the youngest Winchester, that was icing on the cake for him. How he had wanted so badly to get his claws into one of them, they had destroyed his master after all. And to find out that Dean Winchester had been zapped to Purgatory of all places and Sam was alone…It was perfect, and Missy had known that. She had bestowed upon him the task of taking over should anything ever happen to her at the human’s hands, and now he was more then anxious to do just that.

As he stood in the shadows staring at the familiar Chevy Impala parked in front of motel room number 5, a grin formed on his face and he moved back into his own motel room. Now wasn’t the time, he would wait. He was patient after all, the Winchester brothers would eventually have to leave the room one of these days. They couldn’t stay in that room forever. 

The Leviathan glanced next to him at the female that had walked up to him and smiled slyly,  
“You took care of Harper’s granddaughter?”

Licking her lips, the female smiled back and nodded her head,  
“She was delicious.” Her smile faded then as she narrowed her eyes dangerously,  
“Not as good as Sam Winchester would have been…if you had only allowed me to-“

“I told you, not yet,” He replied ever patiently,  
“That’s not what Missy wanted, remember? Besides, it’s much more fun to hear their cries when they’re alive; I told you all this.”

“I know,” She answered with a roll of her eyes,  
“Just tell me you have a plan because I’m sick of all this waiting around. Sam and Dean Winchester were supposed to go with you to that apartment-“

“This is better,” He interrupted again, his own eyes flashing dangerously at her,  
“If you’re not in on this, it’s better to let me know, because if you screw this up, I’m going to have to bib you.”

Seething angrily, the female moved in front of him and growled,  
“I’ll give you two days to take care of this. After that, you’re on your own.”

0000

It all seemed too real, yet at the same time, Sam highly doubted that it could be. He had to be dreaming, there was no other way around it. After all, he was able to see for the first time in months; and not just that, but his eyes were firmly back in place. He lifted his hands and brought them to his face and felt along his eyelids. 

Yes, this all had to be a dream. 

The last thing he remembered was falling asleep in his brother’s arms in the motel room. He remembered Dean’s voice softly urging him to think of his happiest memories and he felt a few tears forming in his newly restored eyes as he remembered that he was actually able to laugh for the first time in a year. Actually laugh.

Sam looked around him nervously, he was still in the motel room but his brother was nowhere to be found. Yes, this was very odd. The younger Winchester moved to the window and looked outside, frowning as all he saw was just a sheet of blackness. No Impala, no street. Nothing.

“You’re not dreaming, boy.”

Sam stiffened at that familiar voice, that all too familiar voice. No, it couldn’t be…Slowly, he turned around again and the tears started falling as he saw Bobby Singer standing next to his bed. To his left was John and to his right was Mary.

“I have to be,” Sam whispered, not moving from his spot by the window,  
“I mean…this is impossible…”

“This is really happening, son,” John spoke up, moving closer to his youngest,  
“You’re asleep, but we’re inside you’re head. It’s the only way we could talk with you, Sammy.”

“But…how?” Sam whispered, blinking his eyes rapidly and running a hand through his hair,  
“You’re all…”

“Dead,” John finished, stepping even closer and laying a hand on Sam’s shoulder. He watched as his son sucked in a deep breath at the very touch and wiped a hand across his face to get rid of as many tears as possible,  
“But when has anything ever been normal for you boys, Sam?” He smiled slightly.

“Dad…” Sam lifted a shaky hand and placed it over his father’s, savoring the feel of being able to not only see his parents and Bobby-literally-again, but to actually be able to feel them,  
“Dad…” He repeated, suddenly feeling his father’s arms around his shoulders and pulling him in.

Several minutes passed before Sam finally pulled back and turned towards his mother and Bobby, who had moved closer. Wanting more then anything to just hug them all, to just stay there forever, he was just so confused; he knew he was asleep in the real world, yet he was being told this was all real,  
“I’m so confused,” He frowned, looking back and forth between the three people he loved so much,  
“I mean…You know what happened, then?”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_m5uwg9jr8i1r1k6vvo1_500_zpsaa43bdc6.gif.html)

“Yes, we do, sweetie,” Mary spoke up, taking a step towards her youngest child and placing her hands on his cheeks,  
“And we’re so proud of you.”

“P-Proud of me?” Sam uttered, his brow furrowing,  
“How could you be proud of me after that? I mean…You’re all disappointed in me, I mean, you’re all dead because of me-“

“Knock it off, you idjit,” Bobby interrupted,  
“None of us died because of you, and none of us are disappointed in you. Those Leviathans screwed with your head so badly, they even made you believe that your own brother is disappointed in you and hates you.”

“I don’t understand how he couldn’t-“

“He can’t because he loves you more then life itself,” John firmly piped up,  
“It never disappeared and he never faked it. What you went through, son…” He shook his head, his face saddening,  
“No person should have ever had to go through it, but you came out on the other side.”

“Yeah, I came out blind, dad,” Sam was unable to keep the disgust from his voice as he spoke,  
“Blind and I had to have my eyes removed. How is that coming out on the other side?”

“You told Dean about it tonight, remember?” Mary looked into her youngest son’s hazel eyes,  
“You took that first step to heal, Sammy, and Dean is so proud of you. We’re all so proud of you.”

Sam continued shaking his head in disgust as he started backing up again until his back hit the window,  
“Did you even hear what I just said, mom? Dean was in Purgatory for an entire year and once again, I was unable to help him, I was unable to save him. He’s the one who should have been saved by me, not the other way around! Don’t you understand?” He wiped away as many tears as possible from his face in disgust; this was all his fault, he saw it, how come nobody else seemed to see it?  
“It’s my fault, everything is my fault. Bobby…you should still be alive right now. I was driving the car that eventually killed dad, and mom, you died because I was born! How-“ Before he could finish his ramblings, he felt another pair of arms encircle him and he closed his eyes as he allowed his mother to hold him. Bringing his arms up, he tentatively embraced her back and buried his tear-streaked face into her white nightgown,  
“I’m just so sorry…”

“Shh,” Mary soothed in Sam’s ear as she stroked his long hair,  
“Listen to me, baby, and listen well.” Feeling him nod in reply, she continued,  
“I love you, Sam, we all love you so much and you have nothing to be sorry for. You need Dean, and he wants to help you, he’s never not wanted to help you. Everything that has happened in you boys’ lives…it’s unfair and it’s awful; but you two have each other. You’ve never lost your big brother, Sammy.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_mgxz9tWGiL1qcex2lo3_250_zpsf9971eaf.gif.html)

“Remember when you left for Stanford, son?” John jumped in as Sam lifted his head from Mary’s shoulder and turned to him,  
“Dean and I drove by there monthly just to make sure you were alright. Even after everything I said after that blowup between us, I never stopped caring about you, Sam.”

Sam was silent for a few uncomfortable moments as he took in everything his parents were saying,  
“What am I supposed to do?” His voice trembled as he looked between the three ghosts,  
“Please…just tell me what I’m supposed to do?”

“You don’t keep anything from your brother, no matter how much you believe it’s for the best,” Bobby answered, looking the younger boy in the eye,  
“Because Dean will get it out of you, kid, one way or the other. You know that, Sam.”

The youngest Winchester nodded his head, lowering his eyes and allowing his long hair to fall into his face as he replied,  
“I know.”

“You will be able to do this, Sam,” The older, gruff hunter continued, stepping into Sam’s line of vision and placing his own hands on the boy’s shoulders. He waited until he lifted his head to meet his eyes before continuing,  
“It ain’t gonna be easy, but you can do it.” He moved his head to look between John and Mary before turning back to the boy he considered a son,  
“But you must know something else, Sam. You and your brother, you must be extremely cautious. Those Leviathans that assaulted you, they aren’t giving up, kid, and they’re much closer then you think. They won’t be giving up until they break you completely. You understand me, Sam?” 

“I’m scared,” Sam whispered back shakily.

Reaching out and pulling the younger boy to him tightly, Bobby held on for a few moments before releasing him,  
“You’re strong, Sam. You’ve been in Lucifer’s cage, you’ve been soulless and even suffered all of those hallucinations. And now this. You can do it. We believe in you, and more importantly, your big brother believes in you, too.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/original_zps373d4aa5.jpg.html)

0000

Dean looked down as he felt a slight movement under his arm. Frowning, he glanced at his watch and saw that his brother had only fallen asleep a half hour ago,  
“Go back to sleep, Sammy,” He quietly urged, rubbing Sam’s shoulder.

Instead, he felt his little brother turn more towards him and pushed himself slightly up. He watched as Sam moved his head back and forth as if he was expecting something, as if he could see something,  
“You’re okay, Sam.”

His heart hurting as he found himself once again blind, and all three ghosts no longer in the room with him, Sam turned towards where he suspected his brother’s voice was coming from,  
“Dean…”

“Right here.”

“Dean…” Sam uttered shakily, lifting his hand and wiping it down his face to smear away any remaining tears,  
“You’re…Are you disappointed in me…?”

“Never,” Dean replied, not bothering to try and figure out where this was coming from. In the last half hour, his brother didn’t seem to have suffered from nightmares, instead, he seemed to have been calmer then he had since he had first found him,  
“Never, Sammy.”

Sam slowly lowered himself back down into the crook of his brother’s arm and reached a shaky hand out to grab onto his brother’s shirt,  
“You’re sure?”

“Positive.” Dean closed his green eyes briefly before lowering his head and placing a quick kiss on the top of his brother’s head,  
“I love you, kiddo.”

At those few simple words, Sam’s face scrunched up as he buried his face into his older brother’s shirt and cried.

0000

TBC


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

“It was the weirdest thing, it had to have been a dream, right?” Sam was saying a few hours later as he sat next to his brother, replaying everything that had he had dreamt. No matter how tired he still was, he just could not go back to sleep and Dean didn’t force him this time. Instead, after he had calmed down some, the younger Winchester had started explaining everything that had happened, from literally seeing Bobby, John and Mary again to having his vision back. The only logical explanation was that is was a dream, but how could he explain how real it felt? It literally had felt like he was right there, yet he knew he hadn’t been.

Dean furrowed his brow in concentration as he took in everything his little brother had told him,  
“Not necessarily, Sammy…I mean, we deal with weird every day. We’ve dealt with ghosts before. As for whether or not they managed to get inside your head and talk with you, you gotta admit, it couldn’t have come at a better time, kiddo.”

Sam lowered his head and ran a tired hand through his hair,  
“It was like…It was like they knew about everything that had happened, everything that I’ve done-“

“-Which wasn’t your fault.”

Choosing not to comment, Sam continued,  
“It felt so damn real, Dean…I was able to see them, touch them…Mom and dad said they were proud of me…” His voice choked up as he spoke,   
“And Bobby…he said you were proud of me, too.”

“They’re right, Sam,” Dean kept his arm draped around his brother’s shoulders,  
“Whether they were real or not, they spoke the truth.”

“They-They even tried to warn me…” Sam lifted his head slightly, his heart racing once again as he remembered what his family had warned him of,  
“The Leviathans are close…closer then we think, and that they haven’t given up…Dean, what if it was real? I mean, it couldn’t have been real, but what if it was?”

Narrowing his eyes and glaring at the wall in front of him, Dean tightened his arm around his little brother protectively,  
“Then I’ll take those sons of bitches out, Sam.” His green eyes still narrowed, the older brother looked around the motel room, observing every aspect of it as if preparing himself if someone or something jumped out from around the corner,  
“Remember what I told you?”

Shaking his head hard, Sam bit his lower lip,  
“You can’t do it on your own, Dean.”

“Sammy, you should know by now that I will die before I let them come near you or so much as touch you again,” Dean tried to keep his voice as calm as possible, but the growl was noticed by his brother as he saw Sam flinch slightly at his words,  
“It’s the only way to keep you safe-“

“And who will keep you safe and watch YOUR back, huh?” Sam unintentionally snapped back, wishing he could see the look on his brother’s face so he could rightfully glare at him,  
“It’s not like I can do it.” Feeling his face flush slightly with anger that really wasn’t directed at his brother, but anger nonetheless, Sam wiped a hand over his face before he allowed himself to cry anymore,  
“I won’t let you do this-“

“Watch me.” The words were out of Dean’s mouth before he had time to think and he instantly regretted them as he saw the hurt flash across Sam’s face. Feeling his brother shrug out from under his arm and turn his face away to hide the tears that started to appear again, Dean gripped Sam’s arm gently,  
“My God, Sammy, I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t,” Sam interrupted, keeping his face hidden from his older brother. He knew that Dean didn’t mean to hurt him with the words he had just spoken, that the argument had only started because of Dean’s concern for him. But when would he understand that went both ways? That his concern for his older brother was just as strong as Dean’s concern for him?  
“It’s okay, Dean…”

Frowning slightly, Dean tightened his grip on Sam’s arm and turned him back around so that he could wrap his arm around him again. Feeling the tension in his little brother’s shoulders, Dean sighed and shook his head,  
“It was most definitely NOT okay, Sam. I’m so sorry, I hate to say it, but…”

“You sometimes forget,” Sam finished, slowly starting to relax as he felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder,  
“I wish I could, too, you know?”

Deciding to drop the Leviathan topic for the time being, as the last thing he wanted was tension between him and Sam, Dean sucked in a sharp breath and let it out, mentally preparing himself for the next question he was going to ask,  
“Have you considered the prosthetics yet, bro?” He waited as the tension started to rise in Sam’s shoulders again,  
“I really think it would start to make you feel better-“

“That’s really been the last thing on my mind, Dean,” Sam answered quietly, not wanting to think about the possibility of fake eyes. He didn’t know why, but the idea scared him too much,  
“How could they make me feel better?”

“Well for starters,” Dean began, hoping his brother would listen to his reasoning and explanations that this could be for the better,  
“Even though you still won’t be able to see, Sam, at the very least you’ll feel something where your eyes were,” The older Winchester tried to keep the trembling out of his own voice as he spoke about his brother’s loss,  
“The doc said it wouldn’t hurt, that he’s had patients who have benefited from it and are relieved when they have them. It’s almost like they have a part of themselves back, you know?

Lowering his head into the crook of his brother’s shoulder, Sam went over everything Dean was saying to him before replying softly,  
“It really scares me…”

“How come?”

Shrugging one shoulder, Sam ran a trembling hand through his long hair again, pushing it out of his face,  
“This whole experience scares me, Dean…” He waited to see if his brother would interrupt, but when he didn’t, Sam continued in the same quiet tone,  
“Ever since Hell and Lucifer’s cage…and the hallucinations…I tried so hard during all of it to pretend like it didn’t affect me like it did, that I could handle it. I wanted you to worry about you for a change, Dean, and the last thing I wanted was to be a burden to you-“

“Sammy-“

“No, Dean, I need to get this out or I never will,” Sam’s voice choked up again as he forced himself to continue,  
“In my dream…or whatever that was…” Sam let out a sad chuckle mixed with tears as he continued,  
“Bobby told me not to keep things from you, that you would help, and if I’m going to be honest, I might as well go all the way, you know?” Feeling a squeeze on his shoulder, Sam hid his head once again in his brother’s neck,  
“I never wanted to be a burden with all of my problems, and God knows I’ve had enough of those. When Missy took me during that year, though, and caged me…” He sucked in a sharp breath of his own,   
“It was like I was back in Lucifer’s cage all over again and you weren’t there, Dean. I never told Jody that, I never let her in on how much Hell had practically destroyed me…I couldn’t do it…I hid it all, Dean, but inside I felt like I was coming apart at the seams and this was the last straw. Even when I was hallucinating Lucifer…” A lone tear rolled down Sam’s cheek as memories washed over him,  
“Even then, I was able to hold it together as much as I could because I knew you were nearby.”

Dean felt like someone had kicked him in the stomach as he listened to his brother’s words. He wanted more then anything to speak up, to reassure his little brother, but he knew Sam had to get this out…After all, as he had said, he never would otherwise. He nodded his head wordlessly against his brother’s head, silently urging him to continue.

“So when I was locked in that cage at the Benders…all I could see was Lucifer’s cage, Lucifer torturing me, and everything that Castiel did to heal me from the hallucinations…it was like it all came back and I just lost it,” Sam bit his lower lip until it bled,  
“I never wanted anyone to see me this way, Dean, not you, not Bobby…and I never wanted to be a disappointment, to let you down again. And I felt like I had because I was unable to rescue you; instead, you had to rescue me…again…”

Silence filled the dark motel room as Sam stopped talking for a few moments, not once moving from the safe position he was settled in on his bed. His hands trembled as he wrapped his arms around himself, all the while allowing Dean to continue holding him,  
“Once again, you had to be the one to save me…you had to be the one to see me this way…to watch me not only lose my sight, but my eyes as well. And now talking about prosthetics? It just…”

“It scares you,” Dean finally spoke up, finishing his brother’s sentence, feeling him nod against him. The older Winchester sighed softly and snapped his mouth shut again, falling silent as he allowed his brother to finish talking.

“I’ve always been a freak of nature, Dean, ever since I was 6 months old,” Sam cringed as he spoke those words,   
“It’ll be even worse with this…You saw what happened in the office when we checked in, Dean-“

“That’s because those idiots don’t know you and they don’t know what happened to you,” Dean firmly interrupted, unable to hold his tongue at this,  
“That doesn’t mean you’re a ‘freak’, Sammy. Why, just because you’re a human being who had a shit load of crap happen to you since you were a baby and was unable to stop it? Bull shit, Sam.” Wrapping his other arm around his brother’s shoulders, Dean continued his rant,  
“Nobody calls my brother a freak, especially not my brother.”

Feeling a slight smile form on his lips at his brother’s words, Sam lowered his head into his brother’s t-shirt as he tightened his arms around himself,  
“Can you at least understand, Dean…?”

“You know I do,” Dean sighed in reply, closing his green eyes as he spoke. His little brother needed him to understand him, understand where he was coming from at the very least; he didn’t need him to fight him on something like fake eyes, especially when they scared the living crap out of Sam right now,  
“I’m still going to figure something out so that you at least start to feel normal again, alright? And listen to me, Sam,” He pulled back carefully and lifted his brother’s face in his hands, resting his hands on Sam’s cheeks,  
“You’re my brother and the past is the past as far as mistakes go. I’ve had my own fair share of them, Sammy, and so have you; but that doesn’t mean you’re a disappointment, because that would mean I’ve failed as your brother, and that’s not something I take lightly. So listen up, Sam, because nothing will make me stop protecting you and loving you, and I don’t care how long it takes, but you will be alright if I have anything to say about it.”

0000

The ghostly figure stood unseen to the Winchesters just outside the motel room, his no-longer beating heart breaking again as he watched his boys. His idjits. He wished more then anything that he would be able to make himself known to the human eye, instead of appearing in Sam’s sleeping mind. 

But it appeared to had worked, hadn’t it? He continued to watch as his boy continued to confide in his brother, both boys not paying any attention to the time as it just got later in the evening. Sleep was the last thing on both of their minds, what mattered to them was each other. And that was how it should be.

Bobby didn’t know how he was still around after his flask had been burned over a year ago; he didn’t know, but he also didn’t care. He had to still be around for a reason and he was going to figure that reason out if it was the last thing he did. The older man silently cursed himself again for allowing himself to die to begin with.

With a shake of his head, he turned away from his boys and glared to his right at the two shadows standing near the Chevy Impala. Dean’s baby. These were the two that needed to be dealt with in a severe manner, and he wasn’t about to allow Dean be the one to take care of these monsters. Ghost or not, human or not, he loved those boys like his own and he would be damned if they got near Sam or Dean.

0000

TBC


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Dean let out a quiet sigh as he glanced down at his sleeping brother once more, taking in every line on Sam’s forehead and every possibility that he wasn’t sleeping soundly. He reached down and brushed a strand of hair away from Sam’s face before relaxing once again and leaned back up against the headboard, making sure not to jostle his brother’s head from where it still lay in the crook of his arm.

Pleased that his little brother appeared to be sleeping soundly for the time being, Dean nodded his head and closed his green eyes for a moment, leaning his head back. Just as he thought he would try and catch a few winks here and there, a noise from outside startled the older brother and her snapped his head up, his eyes now narrowed at the door.

His arm still around his baby brother, Dean looked back down at Sam’s sleeping face. Seeing that the noise didn’t appear to have woken him up, Dean moved his arm carefully out from under Sam’s head and gently laid him back down on the pillow. With his eyes still on his brother, the older Winchester reached behind him and grabbed the gun he kept on the bedside table.

With one last look over at his sleeping brother, Dean moved cautiously towards the door, cocking the gun in his hand and keeping it in front of him as he reached out and unlocked the door. His eyes narrowing down into a deep, hard glare, the older brother opened the door a crack and then all the way, not bothering to move anywhere over the salt line. Poking his head out the door, the gun in front of him, he looked right and left and back again, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.

Not one to take any chances however, especially now, Dean never lowered the gun as he moved back into the room and closed and locked the door. As he moved the deadbolt back into place, he turned back around, but was unprepared for what he saw standing at the foot of Sam’s bed. Startled more then just a little, the ever protective Winchester raised his gun out of habit, but soon lowered it as he got a good look at who was standing in front of him.

“Bobby?”

The older hunter who had been so much more then a father then John had ever been was now standing right at the foot of his brother’s bed, looking exactly as he did the day he and Sam had burnt the flask to ashes. Nothing had changed a bit regarding his appearance, all the way down to the hat he always wore.

“It’s not possible, we burnt your flask, damnit-“ He started, but stopped as Bobby held his hand up to silence him, glancing back down at Sam who had just started to toss and turn. Dean instantly snapped his mouth shut as Bobby stepped forward, setting his gun onto a nearby table.

“You think I don’t realize that, you damn idjit?” Bobby hissed quietly, stepping closer until he was right in Dean’s face,  
“I do. You did burn the stupid flask, I didn’t even expect to be here…”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Bobby raised an eyebrow at the question and nodded over towards the youngest Winchester,  
“Why do you think, dumbass?” Before Dean could reply, Bobby continued, keeping his voice low,  
“You two boys need me, that’s why.”

“But how, Bobby?” Dean demanded, looking over Bobby’s shoulder at Sam, all the while hoping that he kept on sleeping,  
“Sammy told me a few hours ago…”

“It’s true,” The gruff hunter’s voice softened a bit as he let out a sigh,  
“Despite what your brother thinks, that he was dreaming, he wasn’t, Dean. And before you even think of going for the salt to throw on me, I’m not here as a vengeful spirit, either. I’m still dead, but I’m here to help you.” He looked Dean in the eye as he continued,  
“I was sent back down to earth to help you.”

Feeling slightly weak in the knees, Dean lowered himself down into a chair and placed his head in his hands before looking back up at his friend,  
“You…and mom and dad…You all were here to help Sammy? All of you?” The older Winchester brother looked once again over Bobby’s shoulder as if he was expecting his parents to be standing right there, but just as he expected there was nobody else there besides the three of them.

“Don’t act so surprised there, boy,” Bobby huffed, looking back over at Sam with a sad look on his face,  
“If there was any time you boys needed help, it was now.” He turned back towards his oldest boy, his face turning more serious then Dean ever remembered it being,  
“I take it Sam told you about the Leviathans? That they’re close?”

Dean’s face hardened up again, his “big brother” protectiveness showing plain as day,  
“They’re not getting anywhere near him again, Bobby, not as long as I’m still breathing; hell, they could kill me if they want and I would still protect that kid-“

“Who said anything about them getting near Sam?” Bobby interrupted, sitting down on the bed closest to Dean,  
“You leave those sons of bitches to me, son, you hear? What you’re going to do right now is get that brother of yours out of here and start driving; those monsters have their eye on this very room, on your car, so they’re just waiting for the perfect time to strike…”  
Scoffing, Dean rose to his feet and made his way over to where his brother was starting to get more restless under the covers. Taking a seat beside Sam, he reached over and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and waited until he had calmed down some before looking back up at his friend,  
“You say they’re watching us and yet you want us to leave?” He glared daggers Bobby’s way,  
“What the hell, Bobby? You said you were here to help-“

“He is, Dean.”

Another voice sounded behind them and Dean nearly jumped out of his skin as he saw two more figures standing near them. His parents. Just as he remembered them and not a day younger or older.

“There’s no time to explain, Dean,” John piped up before Dean could get a word in edgewise,  
“They don’t know we’re here; but they are still outside and planning their attack any minute now. We’ll distract them while you get yourself and Sammy out of here.” Before Dean had time to comprehend exactly what was happening, John barked,  
“Now, Dean!”

At his father’s gruff voice, Sam suddenly shot straight up in bed, knocking Dean’s hand off of his shoulder as his arms flailed around,  
“Dean!” He cried out, not expecting to feel strong hands grab his upper arms and steady him. Reaching out with a trembling hand, he fumbled around until he found his brother’s hand and held on,  
“Dean…?”

“I’m right here, buddy,” Dean reassured, gripping his brother’s hand tightly in his as he looked over his shoulder, but the ghosts were nowhere to be seen. Not even bothering to try and decide whether or not he was just imagining their presence, Dean turned back to his little brother,  
“We have to get out of here, Sammy…”

His heart racing rapidly, Sam frowned and pushed himself up onto his elbows,  
“What’s going on?”

Rising to his feet, Dean was about to reply when he felt something fall from his lap. One hand still gripping Sam tightly, he reached down with the other and picked up what had fallen to the floor. Realization flooded through him right then that he had not been imagining things these last couple of minutes; he hadn’t been going crazy. Right there written in plain English was an address of some sorts and a scribbled note:

Take your brother and don’t look back. We’ll take it from here.

Shoving the piece of paper into his pocket, Dean turned back to his brother who was now sitting up straight in bed, a worried look written on his face,  
“You weren’t dreaming earlier about mom and dad, Sam.” He moved around the room quickly and started shoving the few items they had brought in with them into one bag. Grabbing the gun from where he had set it on the table, Dean tucked it back into his waistband and grabbed his jacket.

“What?”

Moving back over to his little brother, Dean helped maneuver Sam’s arms into his own jacket and grabbed his brothers sunglasses off of the nightstand,  
“I’ll explain on the way, kiddo, but right now, we need to get the hell out of dodge.” As Sam placed the shades on, Dean swung the bag over his shoulder and reached down to his brother, wrapping his arm around his brother’s waist,  
“C’mon.”

0000

The two Leviathans were silent as they stood in the shadows, close enough to keep an eye on the motel room but also enough to stay out of the way. Patience was a virtue in this department; they couldn’t risk being seen, especially if they wanted the plan to go off without a hitch.

“How much longer?” The female demanded from beside him, her own patience growing thin the longer she waited,  
“They’re bound to be asleep by now-“

“Are you really that stupid?” The male narrowed his eyes at her before turning back to stare at the motel room. Yes the lights were off, but that didn’t mean anything,  
“Dean Winchester is not likely going to be sleeping while his brother is this vulnerable; and even if he does, it’ll only be for a few winks at a time. Trust me-“

“Trust you?” She sneered angrily,  
“This is such a waste of time-“

“Shut your mouth,” He snapped, not turning away from the Winchester’s room,  
“I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?” She mocked, glaring heatedly at the male,  
“This is not the normal routine when it comes to eating, you idiot! Since when do you even care about being seen or not?”

“Since I promised Missy Bender I’d take care of the Winchesters for them, and you should know by now, I intend to keep that promise,” He lowered his voice as he spoke, his eyes now staring at the sleek black Chevy Impala,  
“Remember what I told you if you’re in or out?” Receiving a look of absolute disgust in return, the male smiled,  
“I thought so.”

Several minutes passed in silence before an unexpected noise sounded from behind them and both Leviathans turned around quickly, preparing themselves for any human intruder that dared interrupt their mission. Not seeing anything, the male huffed in annoyance and turned back around, only to suddenly feel a fist coming in contact with his jaw. Startled, he fell backwards, but before he could regain his footing, the unexpected feel of a sharp stinging sensation took hold of him and he cried out as his flesh bubbled and hissed from the Borax tossed at him.

0000

“They were right outside the door?” Fear was in Sam’s voice as he felt the gentle roar of the Impala beneath him as Dean continued driving down the highway like a bat out of hell,  
“Dean-“

“They were closer then we had even thought, Sammy,” Dean interrupted, trying not to let too much fear leak into his voice as he drove as quickly as possible,  
“You weren’t imagining that conversation you had with Bobby, mom and dad; they were in the motel room with us right before you woke up, warning us to get out of there. I don’t know how, Sam, but they said they would take care of the problem.”

“But Leviathans can’t see ghosts, Dean,” Sam pointed out, running a shaky hand through his tangled up hair,  
“I mean, how-“

“I don’t know, Sammy, but they said they’ll figure it out,” Dean reached across the bench seats and squeezed the back of his brother’s neck to offer him some sort of physical contact. Heck, they both needed it after that night,  
“That’s why we’re getting the hell out of here, dad said they would distract them while we made our getaway.”

“So now what?” Sam whispered, exhaustion flowing through him. This had been one hell of a night, an emotional night for both him and Dean, and all he wanted was to sleep for the next 24 hours,  
“I mean, we can’t just keep driving, Dean…”

“They left me an address of where to go from here, bro, so that’s where we’re headed,” Dean replied, turning briefly towards his brother and taking in the exhaustion on his face as he took off the sunglasses,  
“Until then, get some sleep.” Seeing Sam about to object, Dean continued before he could get a word in,  
“That’s an order, Sam.” He waited, his hand still resting on the back of his brother’s neck, until Sam nodded his head and he gently pulled him towards his shoulder. Keeping one arm draped around his little brother while he steered the wheel with the other, Dean eyed the long stretch of road in front of them,  
“I’ll wake you when we get there.”

0000

If there was one thing John Winchester did not mind about being a ghost, or a spirit, or whatever the hell you wanted to call it right now, it was the little known fact that these monsters couldn’t see him as he threw the Borax in their faces. Luckily, they were far enough way from the motel so that they wouldn’t disturb those trying to catch some shuteye; he didn’t want to think of the possibility of waking anybody up and having more innocent people get in this line of fire. 

The Leviathans were going down tonight, that was all there was to it.

They had harmed his youngest boy, his child. Mary’s baby. Nobody, especially monsters like these kind, lived to see another day if they did anything to hurt his sons. He glanced over at Mary and nodded his head in confirmation.

0000

TBC


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I know, the Leviathan take-down in this chapter is kept relatively short. I did that on purpose, to be honest with y’all. I wanted to get that part of this story over and done with, if you know what I mean, and get on to the boys healing…REALLY healing and not have to worry about anybody or anything coming after them. So yeah, that’s why it’s as short as the way it is, but don’t worry, that doesn’t mean we’ve seen the last of Bobby and mommy and daddy Winchester!

Chapter 20

Bobby knew there was no real way to kill these sons of bitches, but he also knew that there were ways to slow them down. If there was one thing he made sure to remember from his time alive, besides his boys, it was how to take down a Leviathan. Even as a ghost, that came in handy; hell, it made it even easier due to the fact these monsters couldn’t see him.

It all was too easy. 

He watched with satisfaction as John finished beheading the male Leviathan-the same sick bastard who had hurt Sam in ways he couldn’t even express. A feeling of pleasure came over him as he watched the heads of both monsters roll to the ground in front of them. Although he knew nobody could see him or hear him, he glared heatedly down at the two bodies as he stepped forward and picked up the male’s head,  
“That’s for my boy, you son of a bitch.” 

0000

As Dean continued driving in silence, the hours slipping by until it was dark again and the music in the car turned down low so as to not disturb his brother, the older Winchester glanced over towards Sam again and sighed quietly. He had been driving almost nonstop for the past couple of hours, only stopping to fill up the gas tank, and still, his little brother slept on.

Keeping an eye on the road and the other on Sam, Dean looked over his brother’s slouched body in the passenger seat, taking in every crease of his forehead and every flinch. But still he didn’t wake up from his deep sleep; not that Dean had a problem with that, hell, his little brother needed it like he needed air to breathe. Just the thought of sleep caused the older brother to run a hand tiredly down his face and yawn; he himself had been awake for over 24 hours now and he was beat. But still, he drove on. He was not stopping until they reached…wherever the hell his parents and Bobby had told him to go.

With one hand still holding the steering wheel, he fumbled around in his pocket and pulled out the crumbled piece of paper. He smoothed it out on his leg and glanced down at the address again, taking it in; taking in the familiar state they were heading to.

Kansas. Back home.

The ghosts of his and Sam’s family had to have had a reason to direct them there of all places. For all Dean knew, there was nothing there except for a shitload of bad memories that he didn’t care to revisit, most of all their old home. So why would they direct them back to Kansas?

Before Dean had time to think through the possibilities behind it all, he heard a soft mumble coming from the sleeping form of his little brother. He shoved the scrap of paper back into his jacket pocket and reached that same hand out to grasp onto his brother’s hand, offering a silent gesture of comfort even while in sleep. During the hours they had been on the road, Sam had eventually shifted from leaning on Dean to leaning against the window, his head resting on his arm and the sunglasses soon sliding down his nose and onto his lap. Hearing another soft groan coming from the younger brother, Dean squeezed Sam’s hand tightly and spoke softly,  
“You’re good, Sam. It’s all good.”

With those few words, Sam quieted down once again and slipped back into a restless sleep. Drawing in another sigh, Dean kept a hold on Sam’s hand for a few more moments before setting it back in his brother’s lap. 

It had been an incredibly long and drawn out couple of hours, that was for sure, and while he continued driving down the highway, Dean’s jumbled thoughts continued going this way and that. Had Bobby and his parents managed to take down those Leviathans? Where they being followed? What were they going to do when they got to hell-knows-where? And even more importantly, how was Sammy going to function when they reached this secret place?

Another few hours went by before Dean glanced back down at the gas tank and saw that it was near empty again,  
“Shit…” He groaned to himself, glancing back over at Sam, not at all surprised to see that he still had yet to wake up. Pulling off onto the nearest exit, Dean guided the car towards the closest convenience store and pulled it up to a gas pump,  
“Sammy?”

No response.

Dean glanced down at his watch and, seeing that it was just a little after 6 in the morning and the area was relatively deserted, the older brother wanted nothing more then to let his brother continue to sleep. He would only be gone for just a few moments and he was more likely to get struck by lightening then having Sam wake up while he was filling up the car. But then on the other hand, with Sam’s sight gone and the physical and emotional trauma still weighing on him, the last thing Dean wanted to do was leave his brother alone for even a moment, even though he would still be within his line of vision. Finally deciding it was best to let his brother continue to sleep, Dean quietly and quickly got out of the car, locking it behind him. Making a mad dash inside, barely dodging another vehicle as it pulled up to a tank beside the Impala, Dean narrowed his green eyes at the driver as the young woman got out of her car, shooting a flirtatious smile his way. Normally, the older Winchester would have taken advantage of that situation, he would have jumped at the chance to flirt with a cute chick like that; but that was the old Dean, the Dean before Purgatory, the Dean before hellish Leviathans and Missy Bender who enjoyed torturing his baby brother just because they could.

Shooting another quick glance his brother’s way before he made his way into the store, wanting to get this other with and get back to Sam before he woke up, Dean grabbed his wallet as he was walking towards the cash register. Grabbing a few snacks and drinks on his way to the register, his stomach growling from lack of food and knowing his brother was bound to be starving when he woke up, Dean quickly paid for the gas and food and hurried back towards the car.

As he made his way out of the store, his sights set only on his brother, Dean’s heart soon leaped into his throat at what soon greeted him.

The hot chick with the flirtatious eyes was no longer at her own car, she was now kneeling beside the Impala on the passenger side. Not only that, but Sam was now leaning halfway out of the vehicle and even from a distance, Dean could tell he had woken up.

Woken up and found himself alone. Again.

Shoving the snacks into his jacket pockets, Dean broke into a run and as he got closer, he saw that “hottie” had a hand on Sam’s shoulder and the words she was speaking to him drifted over towards the older brother.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, he’ll be right back,” The words coming out of her mouth were spoken in such a gentle manner to his brother that Dean almost stopped in his tracks. Not once had anyone besides him, Jody and Garth and of course the hospital staff, spoken to him like he was a human being and not some freak who was contagious. No, this was different; the words coming from this woman were spoken in the same manner that Jody had always used towards the brothers.

“Just calm down, you’re gonna make yourself sick,” The woman continued, not noticing Dean nearing them, her hand still resting on Sam’s shoulder, rubbing carefully. Hearing footsteps behind her, the woman rose to feet as a worried voice spoke up.

“Sammy?”

“Is this your brother?” She questioned, keeping a gentle hand on the younger Winchester’s shoulder, feeling some of the tension start to leave and the shaking stopped at just the sound of his brother’s voice,  
“Are you Dean?” Seeing the older man nod his head as he took her place beside Sam, she watched as Dean rested his hands on his brother’s shoulders before gently grasping his face in between his hands and brushing the long hair from his face.

It was the weirdest thing, she had been minding her own business when out of nowhere, she had seen the passenger side door to the classy Chevy Impala swing open and the young man had nearly fallen right out onto the pavement. She couldn’t be certain from her vantage point, but it appeared that he was blind, especially from the way he was fumbling with the door and calling out to someone by the name of Dean. Her gut instincts had kicked in right there, she had ignored filling up her car and had made her way over to the young man. She had only been by his side for a few short minutes, doing all she could to comfort this man who was slowly starting to have a panic attack, when the green-eyed stranger had appeared behind her.

“Sammy, I’m right here, bro,” Dean continued to hold his brother’s face in his hands, watching as he slowly appeared to calm down at the sound of his voice. Sparing a glance up at the woman who was still standing over them, the older Winchester narrowed his eyes and spoke roughly,  
“What the hell happened, lady?” He continued brushing a few strands of hair out of Sam’s face and carefully helped him back into the car.

“I’m sorry, I think he was having a panic attack,” The young woman replied, her eyes filling with concern as they moved towards the younger brother,  
“I didn’t mean to pry-“

“No,” Dean interrupted, rising to his feet but still standing close to Sam,  
“No, thank you. I mean it.”

“Is he okay?” She continued, the worry in her voice never leaving. Not receiving an answer from Dean, she shook her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,’  
“I’m sorry, it’s none of my business…”

“Let’s just say that I’m glad he came across someone who didn’t treat him like a piece of trash,” Dean replied, disgust over recent events at the motel leaking into his voice. An uncomfortable silence filled the air before Dean nodded at “hottie” and moved to shut the door to the Impala. Glancing one last time at the woman who was still watching them, he allowed a small smile of thanks to appear on his face, silently ending the conversation as he moved to fill up the gas tank.

Maybe, just maybe, there was hope yet when it came to human beings.

0000

To say he was surprised once they arrived at the address in Kansas and got a look at where their parents had directed them was an understatement. It had taken another couple of hours and another drive long into the night before Dean had finally pulled the Impala up to the odd looking place. Shutting the car off and trying to hold back a yawn of utter exhaustion, Dean forced his eyes to remain open as he squinted in the darkness. It was pretty dark outside, so trying to make out what exactly this place looked like was difficult. He glanced over at his little brother and seeing him fully awake now, Dean smiled wearily and gently squeezed Sam’s shoulder,  
“We’re here, buddy.”

“Where is ‘here’ exactly?” Sam fumbled with his seat belt and reached down to retrieve the shades which were still in his lap,  
“Where are we?”

“Can’t exactly answer that one right now, Sammy,” Dean replied,   
“Wait here.” Climbing out of the Impala and shutting the door, Dean moved to the trunk and pulled out the few bags that were lying there and swinging them over his shoulder. Ignoring the fact that he was practically dead on his feet and needed a nice bed to sleep in for a good 24 hours, the older Winchester moved back to the passenger side and to his brother,  
“Okay, tiger, here we go.” He allowed a small smile to cross his face again as he watched a tiny smile form on Sam’s face at his words. It disappeared almost as soon as it appeared, but it was a smile.

Wrapping an arm around his brother’s waist to help support him on the way to the side door of the building, Dean gave him a small squeeze in support as he reached for the door handle and finding it unlocked. Here went nothing.

0000

TBC


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

“Careful there, Sammy, watch your step,” Dean urged as he guided his brother through the door, Sam’s arm draped over his shoulder as they walked. Stopping as they came to a balcony, the entire room pitch black around them, the older brother moved out from under Sam’s arm and released him,  
“Wait here.” With his brother’s nod, Dean moved around until he found a power switch on the wall,  
“Hmm,” He mumbled to himself, lifting each lever one by one until the entire room brightened up. Looking around, his jaw nearly dropped at the sight that he saw in front of him.

The room was huge, it looked like it went on endlessly. From where he stood, Dean took in the main room and what looked like a library connected to it. The entire room appeared completely old-fashioned, like nobody had even set foot in here in years, probably decades. A small smile formed on his lips as he moved back over to his brother who was still standing in the same spot he left him,  
“Huh…”

“What is it?”

Dean moved his little brother’s arm back over his shoulders and gripped Sam around the waist once more as he began moving them towards the staircase which led to the main floor,  
“We’re coming to a staircase, Sam, so be careful,” He softly guided, patiently guiding his brother until they finally reached the landing,  
“I dunno what this place is, but…I think we might have found a batcave, Sammy.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/imagesCAK079IG_zps2b79ea05.jpg.html)

A small, short laugh escaped Sam at his brother’s words as he felt Dean come to a halt,  
“Where are we?”

“We’re back in Kansas, Sam, but I don’t know...” Dean stopped as he continued to look around what appeared to be a massive library. Books lined every inch of the walls and a large desk sat in the middle of the room with a fireplace on the other side,  
“Mom and dad directed us here, but I honestly don’t know what ‘here’ means…”

Sam frowned slightly, wishing more then anything that his sight was back, so that he could at least for once take in what his brother was explaining to him. It was all so confusing, how did their deceased family know to bring them here, and more importantly, was it even safe?

Before either brother could even comprehend what was going on, the lights began to flicker around them and Dean growled under his breath,  
“Son of a bitch, not now…”

Sam was about to question what exactly was happening, when suddenly that same blackness that he had seen that previous night when he had come in contact with the ghosts once more came upon him. A harsh gasp escaped his lips as he moved his arm from Dean,  
“What the hell is going on…?” Ignoring his brother calling his name, Sam looked around him and once again, felt his eyes underneath his eyelids and he blinked rapidly,  
“Dean…” He moved his head to the left to look his brother directly in the eye,  
“I can see you…”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat as he ignored the fact that all the lights in the building went out just then. None of that mattered right now, it didn’t matter that this was probably going to be because of another ghostly appearance; all that mattered was that for the time being, his little brother was able to see him for the first time in over a year. Blinking back tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, Dean moved his hands and reached up to cup Sam’s face,  
“You can see me right now?” He watched as Sam nodded his head jerkily, an unexplained expression forming on his face. Not sure of what else to do, as he knew this was not going to last long, the older brother reached forward and pulled his brother close, his arms folding around Sam tightly. No words were spoken between the two for a few minutes as Dean gently rocked his brother back and forth until another voice suddenly came from behind them. Another familiar voice.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/Samshassoul_zpscf412339.jpg.html)

“Sam. Dean.”

Sam hesitantly pulled back from his brother and wiped a hand over his face to smear away the tears that had started falling against his will. His heart thudded rapidly in his chest as he lifted his head and saw the same three ghostly figures of their loved ones standing off to the side,  
“This is only temporary, isn’t it?” He whispered, wanting to take advantage of this final opportunity to see his brother again. To see all four of them again. This was not something that happened on a regular basis, in fact, he couldn’t remember a time when this had ever happened. 

“Unfortunately, it is, boy,” Bobby replied, looking between both of his idjits,  
“But we needed you to see us, to see your brother, one more time. What we have to say to you two is important, Sam.” He nodded over to Mary Winchester and watched as she stepped towards their boys.

“We’ve sent you two here because it’s the safest place on earth,” She spoke softly, lifting her hand and stretching out her palm to hand something to Dean,  
“We made sure this place was unlocked when you arrived, but from here on out, this is the only way anyone, supernatural or not, can get in here.”

Sam glanced down at what his mother handed to Dean and saw a strange looking key now resting in his brother’s hand,  
“What is this place, mom?” 

“It’s a bunker, more specifically it’s the Men of Letters bunker. It’s a safe place that has been passed down from my family and your father’s family, one that has been inherited to you boys,” Mary replied, turning towards John as he stepped forward.

“It’s also a place for you two to heal,” John replied in a tone neither brother could remember him using before. It was a soft tone, much different from the gruffness he had always used with them,  
“To take care of each other.” He met his eldest son’s eyes right then as he moved closer,  
“Take care of your brother, Dean, but also allow him to take care of you. You both went through hell this last year,” He moved his eyes towards his youngest,  
“This will be the final time you’ll see us, Sammy, so I want you to remember this moment and remember everything that we told you.”

Sam found himself unable to speak, unable to even open his mouth. This was all happening so fast, that taking it all in at once would cause him to have yet another breakdown. So instead, the youngest Winchester just nodded his head mutely, watching as Bobby now stepped closer to them.

“We know this is a lot to take in, boys, but you’ll be safe here,” He nodded down to the key in Dean’s hand,  
“And keep that key on a safe place, it’s the only way to get in and out of here.” His eyes softened as he looked in between the brothers,  
“Remember that you have family watching over you, but you also have friends nearby who care about you, so you’re never alone in this.”

“Garth and Jody,” Sam finally found his voice as he looked over at his brother, trying his damndest to remember his brother’s face once this was all over with. The last time he had literally seen his brother’s face was when he been zapped to Purgatory and now…now that he could finally see him again, he didn’t want to forget it.

“You won’t forget what he looks like, Sam,” Mary whispered, reaching forward and caressing her youngest son’s cheek,  
“I promise.” She moved her other hand towards Dean and laid a hand on his cheek,  
“We love you boys so much, don’t ever forget that.”

“We won’t, mom,” Dean choked out and just as soon as he felt the hand on his face, the feather like touch was gone and the three figures had disappeared. He looked around him and sucked in a sharp breath as he saw that the lights to the bunker had flickered back on; it was like nothing had ever happened. He looked in between the key that was nestled in the palm of his hand and back to his brother. The sunglasses were still clenched in Sam’s hand, nearly crushing them with his strength, and just like before, his brother was once again blind.

Laying a careful hand on Sam’s arm to let him know he was still there, Dean uttered wearily,  
“Sammy?”

Sam’s heart rate started to slow down some at his brother’s voice, it was thudding so loudly in his ears anymore. He turned his head to where he remembered his brother was and gulped,  
“We’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I think we will, Sammy.”

0000

If there was one thing Dean was sure of, even though he knew that they were completely safe where they were, it was that he was not going to allow his brother to have his own room just yet. The size of the bunker they were staying in was relatively large and there was countless amounts of bedrooms, but most of them were pretty far apart, and with his brother’s condition the way it was, he wasn’t going to allow his little brother to be far away from him just yet. 

So although he was practically dead on his feet with exhaustion, Dean had found the strength within him to maneuver two beds into one room, to make sure there was enough room for the both of them. Sam didn’t seem to mind any of this; in fact he even seemed relieved at the idea. So hours later, as the older Winchester lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling of their new room and attempting to fall asleep, it came as a silent comfort to hear his brother in the bed beside him.

“Dean?”

Turning his head in time to see Sam sit up in his own bed, Dean rose up on his elbows and wiped his hand over his face tiredly,  
“Yeah, kiddo?”

He watched as his baby brother appeared to be going over something in his mind, as if he was debating with himself, before he finally reached a hand down to his shirt and pulled the amulet that he was still wearing out from underneath. Dean continued staring as Sam fingered the necklace in his fingers silently before he pulled it up and over his head,  
“Sam, what are you doing?”

“I want you to have it back,” Sam finally spoke, still fingering the amulet in his hands before he reached across the space between them,  
“I want you to take it…:”

Dean was speechless as he stared at the amulet in his brother’s fingers, debating with himself to even take it back. Sam had had that in his possession the entire time he had been caged by Missy Bender and even during the abuse; and he had not once taken it off ever since Dean had placed it back around his neck at the hospital, it was like it was his own silent comfort that Dean was nearby, so who was he to take that from him now?

“Sammy-“

“Please,” Sam pleaded with him, still holding the amulet out to him,  
“It’s yours, so I want you to have it back.”

Dean silently went over it in his mind, before he finally came to the conclusion that his brother really and truly wanted him to take it back,  
“Why, Sam?” He hesitantly reached out and took back the amulet, staring down at it in the palm of his hand.

“Dad said to take care of each other,” Sam whispered back, leaning back down until his head hit the pillow,  
“And that includes you, Dean…” Silence then filled the room as the youngest Winchester finally allowed sleep to overtake him. Dean’s eyes travelled back and forth between the treasured necklace and back to his brother, taking in those last words Sam had spoken.

Letting out a quiet sigh, Dean nodded his head in acceptance and unraveled the amulet to place it back around his neck where it belonged.

0000

TBC


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

It was a long, drawn out two days in the Men of Letters bunker for both brothers; one that on a regular basis would’ve most likely have been labeled as a “boring” couple of days. That is, if it had been a year ago. Back then, Dean knew that if it was any other day, he and Sam would have been on another hunt or just doing research for their next hunt.

But not anymore.

Things had changed so drastically in their lives, in Sam’s life, that doing any of that type of thing anymore was out of the question. Now, their lives consisted of helping each other heal and not out saving the world or looking for the next big son of a bitch. 

On this particular day, Dean was more then relieved to find out that there was a nearby hospital, one that was even walking distance from the bunker. It had given him such a relief to know that his little brother would still be able to have that medical care, that treatment he needed, even with where they were at. When he had brought it up to Sam however, his brother hadn’t reacted as he had expected.

Dean frowned as he recalled the last two days, ever since their parents and Bobby had disappeared, never to be seen again. It was almost like that ever since the ghostly greetings from their family, Sam had expected more from himself; he was trying to do more on his own without Dean’s help and much to the older brother’s worry, he even appeared to be holding back any left over emotions that were still inside of him. Dean had decided to just let his brother be for the time being; things were changing so much around them and so quickly, too, that taking it all in would give them headaches.

But the older Winchester couldn’t get rid of that nagging feeling that Sam was holding back on something. Something that he hadn’t told him about in the time he was held prisoner by Missy Bender. Maybe it was the older brother instinct or the fact that he knew Sam so well, but that feeling wouldn’t go away and Dean could only wonder when and how those pent up emotions were going to come to a head and burst open. He was able to see the building anger coming over Sam’s face ever time he needed help now, every time Dean reached over to help support him in any way. Even with the cane the older brother had went out and bought for him, Dean still noticed how Sam was still having difficulty getting around, he was still tripping and falling over various objects around the bunker.

Yet, every time it happened, Sam never said a word about it; his face had turned beat red and he had shoved down all the embarrassment and frustration and just allowed his older brother to help him.

Now, silence filled the Chevy Impala as it cruised slowly down the road on the way back from the hospital. Dean would’ve expected his brother to be at least a little more upbeat over the fact that he was indeed healing nicely…on the physical level, that is. He was even surprised at the fact that it looked like Sam was even starting to consider the option of getting the prosthetics. That in itself had brought a huge smile to Dean’s face, but it had soon faded at the look on Sam’s face as he spoke.

“I’ll consider it,” He remembered Sam saying in a monotone,  
“I don’t know if I’ll do it, but I’ll think about it…” Dean had watched as unexpected tears started falling down his brother’s face as the doctor had turned his back; he had never said anything about it, the tears or about why he was still hesitant.

Pulling up beside the entrance to the bunker, Dean put the Impala into park and turned the car off before facing Sam again, his eyes travelling from the cane resting beside his leg to his brother’s face. Noticing that Sam didn’t make a move to get out, Dean took advantage of this opportunity and broke the silence,  
“You’re hiding something from me, Sam.”

Startled out of his thoughts, Sam jumped slightly in his seat and turned to his left at the sound of his brother’s voice,  
“What are you talking about?”

“I think you know, Sammy,” Dean replied, not willing to play dumb with this,  
“You’ve been on edge ever since we got here, you’re holding something in. Did dad say something when he made his ghostly appearance that made you think you can’t ask for help anymore? Because if he did, you know I’ll bring him back down here just so that I can kill him-“

“Dean,” Sam interrupted, a slight edge to his voice,  
“No. I’m fine.”

“That’s the same thing you said back in the hospital, Sam,” Dean reminded his brother, reaching a hand out and grasping onto Sam’s arm,  
“And you weren’t fine. I can tell you’re healing, physically and all…I mean hell, you have to be feeling at least a little bit better to give me back the amulet, but-“

“But what?” The younger Winchester’s brow furrowed as he turned his face away from Dean,  
“You think I’m lying?”

“No, I just happen to know you, that’s all, Sammy,” Dean shook his head,  
“Why do you really not want the prosthetics? Do you think you don’t deserve to feel better? Is that it?” Before Sam could reply, Dean continued, keeping his voice gentle but also serious,  
“Every time you need help now, you seem so embarrassed by it; like you shouldn’t ask for it. Do you really think that low of yourself?”

“No!” Sam snapped a little too quickly, grabbing the cane and fumbling for the door handle,  
“No, Dean, I’m fine…” Before Dean could stop him, Sam stepped out onto the curb and slowly started to make his way towards the door. Cane first, then step. Cane, step, cane, step.

Unable to stop himself, Dean hurried around to the other side to his brother and got to the door, key in hand,  
“This conversation’s not over, Sam.”

Ignoring his older brother, Sam allowed Dean to slowly guide him through the door and to the balcony. Shrugging out of his brother’s hesitant touch, Sam lifted his chin and continued to put one foot in front of the other, cane still in hand. He counted silently to himself as he tried to remember where the stairs were and, once more not paying any attention to his brother, Sam continued forward. 

Stubbornness on his part won out as he put the cane forward, feeling a dip in the floor and he knew he had reached the destination. But he was barely past the first step before the younger brother felt his foot slip underneath him and a cry escaped his lips as he felt himself falling hard on the steps, the cane clattering all the way down to the main floor.

Dean was unable to take it anymore as he rushed forwards towards his little brother, not once commenting on the few tears that were staining his cheeks,  
“God, Sammy, I told you to wait for me!” He grasped Sam under the arms and just as he attempted to help pull him to his feet, he was taken aback as he felt Sam’s hands push him away.

“Get off of me! I don’t need any help!” 

His eyebrows rising a notch, Dean placed his hands on his brother’s shoulders and gently stopped him from rising back to his feet,  
“Calm down, Sam-“

“Calm down? You want me to calm down? Do you have any idea what this is like, Dean?” Sam demanded, attempting to shrug out of his brother’s grasp again but not succeeding in that area. Giving up on not being stronger then Dean for the time being, Sam continued, his voice rising,  
“Needing help with almost every day to day task? Taking care of myself, going down the stairs, I can’t even walk without tripping over my own two feet! Hell, I can’t even drive anymore! You try having that happen to you and get told to calm down!”

Knowing his little brother needed to get this off his chest and out in the open, as he knew that Sam had been holding this anger in for too long, Dean just gently squeezed his brother’s shoulder and remained silent. He was not about to interrupt him now. After all, he knew Sam wasn’t angry at him; he wasn’t angry at anything Dean had done. So taking this personally was out of the question.

“I just want to be able to live my goddamned life again, Dean; what kind of life is this? Tell me, what kind of life has this become?! I’ve taken everything away from you! We can’t even hunt anymore! I’ve done nothing but take things away from you my whole life and now this? You wanted to know whether I thought that low of myself, well there’s your answer, Dean!”

Dean’s heart broke all over again as he let his brother rant right there on the steps, Sam’s breaths coming out in harsh gasps now and he feared Sam was going to have a full blown panic attack before too long. A tense silence once again filled the room, the only sound being made was that of Sam’s breathing. Minutes ticked by before Dean watched as Sam lowered his head now and shook it.

Running a trembling hand through his long hair, he mumbled,  
“Oh my God…”

“Don’t apologize for that.”

“I’m so sorry, Dean-“

“What did I just say?” Dean moved his hands from Sam’s shoulders to cup his face in his own hands,  
“Don’t apologize for that.”

“I’m not mad at you, Dean,” Sam pleaded, his heart now filled with sorrow as he recalled every harsh word that had just come out of his mouth. Heaven help him, he was in no way shape or form angry at his brother, Dean had done nothing wrong. All he had done was be there for him, help him, comfort him and listen to him and now…Now being on the receiving end of that temper tantrum? How in the world could his brother not want him to apologize?  
“You have to believe me, I’m not angry at you-“

“You kept all that in, Sammy,” Dean gently interrupted, his hands still cradling Sam’s face,  
“And you had to get it out one way or the other. It’s all part of the healing process, kid. I know you’re not angry at me, alright?” He waited as Sam appeared to be hesitating,  
“Feeling like you can manage things on your own and being more independent is one thing when all this shit has happened to you; but letting me help you and not always thinking that you’re a burden is another. Because listen to me, Sam: You’re NOT a burden.”

Sam silently nodded his head in reluctance and let out a shaky sigh, listening as his brother continued.

“But you’re still not telling me something, are you?” Dean arched an eyebrow,  
“I’m willing to allow you to bite my head off again…” He allowed a small smile to form on his face as Sam let out a sad chuckle before sighing again.

“You’re right,” He finally accepted,  
“There’s one thing I never told you, but…I don’t know if I can bring myself to tell you…”

“Then I’ll wait for you to tell me,” Dean nodded his head as pulled his brother’s head onto his shoulder and felt some of the tension start to leave,  
“But don’t hold it in too long or all that anger will explode, you hear me?” He waited until Sam had nodded his head against his shoulder, but was startled as his brother spoke up.

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

Sam fell silent for a moment before answering,  
“Purgatory…”

Dean sucked in a sharp breath at the very mention of Purgatory, but shook his head as he released his brother from his hold to help him to his feet,  
“Later.”

0000  
TBC


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

“How’s he doing?”

Dean sighed softly as he glanced over and took in the sleeping form of his brother in the bed beside his. It was later that night and the older Winchester was wide awake yet again, deep in a conversation that he wasn’t that thrilled about having,  
“Just when I think he’s starting to get better, Jody, something happens and it feels like we’re back at square one. He’s healing, but he’s hiding something from me and he won’t tell me…” He kept his voice quiet as he spoke, his green eyes never leaving his little brother,  
“You wouldn’t happen to know what that is, would you?” He heard a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

“That’s not my place to tell you something that happened to him this last year,” She replied softly, a little too softly,  
“I’m not sure what it is he’s already told you, and to tell you the truth, it’s none of my business. That’s between you and Sam, Dean, so…”

Dean sighed loudly and turned his eyes to the ceiling and stared at it as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. It had been an extremely long night, he was unable to fall asleep yet again, so he was taken by total surprise when his cell phone had gone off at half past midnight and lo and behold, Sheriff Jody Mills was on the other end of the line. It appeared that she had been unable to sleep too and although she knew it was late, wanted to call and check in, so here Dean was, sitting on his bed and talking for the past half hour.

“No,” He disagreed right then,  
“It is your business, you were the one that was with Sammy the whole time so you know full well what those sons of bitches did to him, too.” Silence greeted him over the phone,  
“He’s still not entirely sure about the prosthetics, for some reason they scare him; it’s as if he thinks he doesn’t deserve to feel better.”

“I’m sure he’ll come around, Dean,” Sheriff Mills replied quietly,  
“Give him some time,” The tone in her voice grew distant right then, as if she herself was thinking things over; as if she was thinking about something Dean didn’t know about,  
“I’d like to visit, if that’s alright with you?”

Dean leaned his head back against the pillow and continued looking at the ceiling, every now and then his eyes drifting back over to Sam. Pleased that his brother wasn’t tossing and turning this time around, he went back to the conversation,  
“Look, I know you’re worried about my brother, Sheriff-“

“I’d just like to see him, to let him know he’s got friends who care about him, Dean. And I know he has you,” She added before Dean had a chance to even object to that,  
“But I was with him the whole year, I’m just concerned, that’s all.”

Taking it all in, Dean licked his lips and closed his eyes. He and Sam had known Jody ever since before Bobby had passed away; heck, Bobby himself even had the hots for the cop it seemed. And she was right, she had been with his little brother the entire time he was in that cage, she had looked out for him when he couldn’t, and although Sam was damaged in a way that he had a hard time wrapping his mind around, Jody was there for him as a friend and as a listening ear,  
“Alright,” He finally agreed, deciding that if there was anybody he and Sammy could really trust besides each other, it was Jody.

A few minutes later after giving directions to where they were currently staying, Dean shut off his phone and laid his head back against the pillow, deciding to try and get at least a few hours of sleep before Sam woke up.

0000

Dean wasn’t asleep for any longer then an hour before he woke up suddenly, his big brother instincts starting to kick in again. Rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, he turned his head and was surprised to see Sam awake, his back resting up against the headboard of his bed and his arms wrapped around his knees which were pulled up to his chest.

“Sammy?” He uttered tiredly, unable to hold back a yawn,  
“Go back to sleep, man…”

“Jody was right, you know,” Sam whispered, his voice barely audible to the human ear,  
“She does know what I’m keeping from you…”

Frowning, Dean pushed himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed,  
“You were awake while I was on the phone?” Seeing his brother nod his head slowly, Dean sighed and shook his head,  
“Sam-“

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want you to know I could hear you,” Sam apologized, resting his chin on his arms,  
“I woke up when your phone rang…I just thought it’d be better if you thought I was still asleep.”

Deciding to let that matter drop for the time being, Dean rolled his eyes and then hung his head,  
“So are you gonna tell me, Sammy? You admitted yourself you haven’t told me everything and I’m not going to push you, kiddo, but I think I deserve to know the full truth, you know?”

“You do deserve to know.”

“So why don’t you tell me? You know I won’t get angry, so why won’t you trust me with this?”

Sam fell silent as he heard the squeak of Dean’s bed and his feet hitting the floor,  
“Don’t…Just-Just stay where you are right now, Dean, alright? Please?”

Surprised that his brother could tell he was about to get up and move towards his own bed, Dean’s brow furrowed with worry as he moved to sat back on his own bed,  
“What’s going on, Sam?”

Sam’s voice started to tremble as he began in an all too quiet tone,  
“It’s not that I don’t trust you; I already told you it’s not even you I’m angry at…You know I trust you with my whole life, Dean.” He tightened his arms around his legs, his fingers digging into his sweatpants,  
“I’m just so scared to even talk about it, even with you, Dean.”

Dean flinched and for once was relieved his brother couldn’t see how those few simple words effected him and even hurt. But he knew Sam didn’t mean it personally; none of that anger and pain that Sam was trying to so hard to ignore was even remotely directed at him,  
“What do you need for me to do that would make it easier, Sammy?” The older brother was surprised at how willing he was these days for his little brother to talk about his emotions and to get it out; hell, just a year ago, he never even wanted to talk about stuff like this.

Sam licked his lips and ran a trembling hand through his long hair. Dean noticed his familiar gesture, it was something Sam always did ever since his rescue that clearly said he was nervous, but also that he was going to talk about it. Deciding it wouldn’t hurt to do it, the older brother rose to his feet again and moved the few steps over to Sam’s bed. Relieved that he didn’t object this time as he sat beside him, Dean sat shoulder to shoulder beside his brother and stared at him silently. He knew that his brother felt the slight dip in the bed as he sat and that his silence was a sign for him to continue. 

A few awkward minutes passed between the brothers, Sam continuing to run his fingers through his hair endlessly and running a hand down his face, as if he was trying to mentally prepare himself. All the while, Dean waited patiently, finally placing a careful hand on Sam’s shoulder and squeezing without saying anything.

“There’s a reason why…There’s a reason why I’m so scared and have been doubting so much of what you’ve told me.”

“Which part, Sam?”

“About how you feel about me. Me being born. About how everything is my fault, including you going to Purgatory and me going blind…”

Dean frowned again, his hand still resting on Sam’s shoulder,  
“You told me it was the Leviathans, Sam.”

Sam nodded in agreement at that comment,  
“It was, but…”

Starting to get scared now, Dean’s hand never left his brother’s shoulder as he gently pushed,  
“There was more to it.”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded again, his lower lip starting to tremble with emotion as his mind flashed back to that time,  
“It was the Leviathans that whispered all that to me, but there was a reason why I believed them, Dean.”

0000

It wasn’t until the second month when Sam, in pain emotionally and physically, wearily awoke to the most unexpected site. He opened his eyes to the feel of Jody’s hand on his and after a quick look at her through the bars of their cages and seeing the sheer terror on her face, Sam turned and nearly shit his pants. 

There, standing right in front of him on the other side of the bars, stood Dean…or was it Dean? He was leaning back against a pillar, his arms crossed across his chest and the usual smirk on his face. He was staring at Sam as if he was the most interesting thing he laid eyes on since sliced bread. Lunging towards the bars, Sam grabbed a hold of them and looked up into Dean’s eyes,  
“Dean!”

The smirk grew wider on Dean’s face as he moved from the pillar he was leaning against and stepped closer to Sam’s cage,  
“Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, what are we going to do with you?”

Gulping, Sam’s trembling hands only tightened around the bars as he felt a bead of sweat forming on his forehead,  
“Not Dean…” Forcing himself to shake his head and clear this image away, this image of his brother, who really was NOT his brother, Sam backed up until his back hit the other side of the cage. He felt Jody silently reaching for his hand again and he took a hold of desperately,  
“Stay the hell away from me.” 

“Sam, I’m shocked!” LeviathanDean smiled as he moved towards the cage door and looked inside,  
“You wanted to see your brother, didn’t you? Well, here he is-“

“You’re not my brother.”

Shrugging, the Leviathan rolled his eyes,  
“Maybe not, but I can tell you everything Dean would say right now; everything he’s feeling towards you…well, that is, if he’s even alive-“

“Shut up!” Sam snapped back, trying to put as much heat into his voice as he could,  
“Just SHUT. UP.”

Ignoring Sam’s demand, LeviathanDean narrowed his eyes down at Sam and continued,  
“I’ll bet you anything that even if your brother isn’t dead, Sam, that he wishes he was just so that he wouldn’t have to see your ugly face again-“

“Don’t listen to him, Sam,” Jody pleaded, gripping Sam’s hand tightly in hers,  
“It’s all lies-“

“You know your brother hates you. You caused him all that grief ever since you were a baby, you know that?” The Leviathan reached out and looped his arms around the bars of the cage and leaned closer,  
“Your poor mommy, your son of a bitch father, Ruby, Lucifer, the demon blood, you coming back without a soul. I mean, the list can go on forever, Sammy; when will it end? And now, do you know why your brother hasn’t come and rescued you?” Not waiting for Sam’s reply, the Leviathan smirked, his expression so much like Dean it made Sam feel physically ill,  
“I’m sure you know why, Sammy, why don’t you answer the question?” 

“Fuck off,” Sam growled, pushing back any tears that threatened to fall.

Sighing, LeviathanDean shook his head in mock sadness,  
“Oh Sam, I’m so sorry, did that hurt you? I’m only telling you the truth now, it’s what your precious Dean would say. I mean, he still holds that grudge against you for coming back without a soul, so why in the world would he waste his time to search for his pathetic excuse for a little brother when you couldn’t even save him from Hell?”

The tears that Sam was trying so damn hard to hold back, to not let fall in front of this monster who looked just like his older brother, Sam shook his head and closed his hazel eyes miserably,  
“You’re a shitty liar…”

“Am I?” The monster cocked his head to the side and as Sam opened his eyes, the Leviathan changed forms right in front of his very eyes back to his original form, his voice changing along with it,  
“Too bad because it’s the truth.”

Sam felt himself hyperventilating as the Leviathan moved away from the cage and towards the barn door, calling back over his shoulder,  
“I’ll be back when you lose the attitude a little, Sammy.” He shot a wink over his shoulder at Sam and soon disappeared behind the barn door, closing it behind him with a loud bang.

Not sure of what to say or think, his thoughts and emotions now all jumbled up, Sam soon felt an arm awkwardly going around his shoulder and squeezing. Sam closed his teary eyes again and turned towards the gentle touch, resting his head against the cage’s bars.

“It’s not true, sweetie,” Jody soothed as gently as possible, feeling her own eyes well up with tears,  
“It’s not true.”

0000

“…He appeared as you almost every day since then,” Sam finished, his head still lowered to his knees and his brother’s hand still resting on his left shoulder,  
“I didn’t believe what he was saying at first, I really didn’t…It hurt like hell, but I listened to Jody instead,” He gulped and continued quietly,  
“But he continued to do it for months and every time he did, it got harder and harder seeing your face, but knowing it wasn’t you and hearing those words…” He waited for his brother to reply and when he didn’t, Sam lifted his head finally, allowing the few tears to roll down his cheeks,  
“Every time, he would always transform back into his regular body before he…” He stopped, unable to say the words, but guessing Dean knew what he wanted to say, he said instead,  
“The same words were spoken into my ear on a daily basis, but when it became your voice…and when I finally went blind…it just got worse…”

Feeling sickened at this piece of news all over again, Dean moved his arm until is was draped over his little brother’s shoulder and pulled him to his chest,  
“What else, Sammy?”

“When I went blind, most of the time, I would wake up to your voice,” Sam drew in a shuddering breath, not moving his head from his brother’s chest as he tightened his arms around his legs,  
“Every single time, I would get my hopes up…” He tried to calm himself down as much as possible as he wiped a hand across his face,  
“He never…never did…THAT as you…” He listened as Dean let out a huge sigh of relief as he rested his chin on the top of his head,  
“But the words he said in your voice were as bad…if not worse…then that…”

“So that’s why you’re so scared,” Dean whispered, more to himself then to his brother,  
“That’s why you don’t think you deserve the prosthetics, friends, and healing.”

Sam silently nodded his head, shame washing over him like a tidal wave. He didn’t know what else to say; he had finally told his big brother all that he had been holding back, what he had been hiding, what was he going to do now? 

0000

TBC


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

“I’m glad you could visit,” Dean led the way back inside the bunker, Jody behind him as she followed,  
“I think Sam will be happy to see you.” The two walked down the staircase and the older Winchester turned back around to face, concern written all over his features,  
“How are you doing, by the way?”

Sheriff Mills wrapped her arms around herself as she took in the large library they were currently standing in before turning back around to face Dean,  
“I’m doing alright, Dean. There’s been some rough patches here and there, but I’m getting on with my life,” She looked into Dean’s green eyes, her own concern evident on her face,  
“And you?” With Dean’s shrug of his shoulders, Jody knew she wasn’t going to be getting much of answer so she asked the question she was sure Dean would reply to,  
“Sam?”

“He’s still sleeping,” Dean sighed,  
“He’s been doing a lot of that lately, to tell you the truth.” It had been two days since his little brother had confided in him the last piece of information about his capture at the hands of Missy Bender and the Leviathans and since then, although his brother was trying his damndest to put on a brave face for his sake, he could tell that all Sam really wanted to do was drown out the rest of the world and sleep until he couldn’t sleep anymore,  
“Really, Jody, things are pretty depressing around here, so you’re pretty brave to set foot in this joint.”

Jody frowned as she tilted her head and continued to stare into Dean’s face,  
“You’re Bobby’s boys, Dean; what kind of friend would that make me if, after everything that’s happened, I just let you and Sam drop out of my life? Seriously, Dean, I’ve heard dumb things in my life, but that…”

Dean was unable to hold back a small chuckle and shook his head,  
“I know,” He replied, glancing over his shoulder towards the long hallway that lead to his and Sam’s room,  
“He told me…” His smile faded from his face as he looked down at his feet, not wanting his friend to see the look of despair he knew was written plainly there,  
“You know…That damn Leviathan taking my form and saying all that stuff to him.”

Jody was unable to hold back a few tears at the sadness on Dean’s face, but she refused to let them fall in front of him. The older brother needed her to be brave; just like Sam needed Dean to be brave for him, Jody was more then willing to do the same for them both,  
“He still loves you, you know.” The words were out of her mouth before she had time to even think of what she was saying. It was when Dean’s head shut up to look at her and his own eyes widened that she continued,  
“The Leviathan may had taken your form, Dean, but Sam knew it wasn’t YOU,” She reached out and grasped the younger boy’s hands in her own and squeezed gently,  
“Even after he went blind…All he had was his hearing, true; but did you know that every night, even though he had been beaten down by those monsters, he would talk in his sleep? Every single night, he’d be saying your name in his sleep and it was you that he was always thinking of whenever I did something that reminded him of you,” She smiled sadly,  
“They took so much away from him, but what they didn’t take was his love for his big brother. So any doubt that’s in your head that’s saying that Sam doesn’t love you like he used to because of this, get rid of it. Because it’s not true. You understand me?”

Dean cleared his through, not trusting himself to speak as he took in everything Jody was saying,  
“I’ll go wake him up.”

“Before you do that, I wanted to ask you something, Dean,” Jody stopped him before he could head down the hallway,  
“Sam’s condition…Have you considered any other ways for communication, like Brail and stuff like that?”

The older Winchester smiled slightly again as he turned back towards his friend,  
“Actually, yeah, I found a few Brail books in this library-a little more then I had expected, really. It’s almost like whoever stayed here before us was also blind.” He shrugged his shoulders as he made his way towards one of the tables and picked up a thick book resting there,  
“But really, there’s no ‘how-to’ guide on learning Brail and I wasn’t going to bring it up to Sammy until I knew what I was getting myself into. I mean, if Sam’s going to be learning this stuff, so will I.” He arched an eyebrow as he saw the smile on Jody’s face,  
“What?”

“I might have a solution to that, Dean,” She reached across and took the offered book from Dean’s hand and flipped through it,  
“This is some pretty heavy stuff.”

“What kind of solution?”

The smile grew wider on Jody’s face, something extremely rare these days,  
“I’ll get back to you on that. It’s best if I show you, so give me a few days, alright?” Seeing Dean nodded his head, she continued and set the book back down on the table, leaning against it,  
“Have you also considered something like…I don’t know, a guide dog maybe?”

“A DOG?” Dean arched an eyebrow, trying to decide if Sheriff Mills was serious on this or joking with him,  
“A dog? Come on, Jody-“

“A GUIDE dog, Dean,” Jody rolled her eyes to the ceiling,  
“It’s not a regular dog, they are trained animals who help people with Sam’s condition. They’re trained specifically for that person and their needs; in other words, they act as that person’s eyes.” Her tone grew more serious as she spoke,  
“A cane for him works for the moment, as he’s still getting used to this idea I’m sure, but for the future, have you considered something like that? I can tell you’re not a dog lover-“

Dean guffawed and it was his turn to roll his eyes now, but soon sighed and turned serious himself for the moment,  
“It’s not something I’ve really considered, Sheriff; I mean, getting settled in and getting Sammy to heal properly has been my main goal lately.”

“As it should be,” Jody agreed,  
“How ‘bout this, Dean? What would Bobby tell you?”

The older brother closed his eyes tightly at the mere mention of the older hunter’s name, remembering the last time he saw him and his parents in their ghostly form in this very room,  
“He’d tell me I’m a moron and to think of everything possible that would help Sam. Course, I already know that…”

A tiny smile of encouragement crossed Jody’s face as she replied,  
“It’s only a suggestion, Dean, but if you consider it…I know some people who train these types of animals-“

“Jody, you’re already doing so much with just the Brail stuff-“

“Let me finish,” She interrupted, holding her hand up,  
“I know people who train them, Dean, and I’d be more then happy to refer you to them.” She lowered her hand,  
“I care about you boys, is it really that difficult to understand?”

Dean forced back the few tears that threatened his eyes and looked Jody straight in the eye,  
“No, I guess not…I just want what’s best for Sammy, Jody. I’m worried sick about him and I don’t like asking for help in taking care of my little brother…”

“I’m not going to be taking your spot as caretaker and big brother,” Jody assured with a firm shake of her head,  
“I would never and could never do that. I just want to help, if you’ll let me.”

0000

“Sam, I need you to wake up for me,” Dean gently shook his brother’s shoulder, hearing a soft moan escape Sam’s lips as he curled his arms tighter around his pillow,  
“C’mon, Sammy, you’ve got a visitor and she’s travelled far to come and see you.”

Hearing his brother’s words in the far back corners of his mind, Sam tried with everything in him to wake himself up. He felt Dean shake his shoulder again and he brought a hand up and lightly swatted it away,  
“I’m awake, Dean…”

Jody watched from the doorway, waiting for Dean’s cue that it was alright to enter and as the older brother nodded his head in confirmation, she stepped into the room, careful not to startle Sam in any way,  
“Hey, sweetie,” She greeted, doing her best not to let her full emotions of Sam’s current condition in her voice.

Sam sat up on his elbows, Dean’s hand now resting on his shoulder and he turned towards the familiar voice,  
“Sheriff Mills?”

Sighing at the formality again, Jody shook her head and took a seat on his bed now facing him,  
“Enough with the formal greetings, Sam. It’s Jody.” She smiled gently as she watched Sam’s face flush slightly.

“I’ll be in the library, Sammy,” Dean squeezed his little brother’s shoulder before heading towards the doorway, wanting to give Sam and Jody some privacy.

“You know what a library is, Dean?” Sam attempted to make a joke at the mere mention of that,  
“Last time I checked, you didn’t even know what one was.”

Pleased beyond words that his brother was able to joke with him right then, even if only for a few seconds, Dean smirked and shot back,  
“Watch it, Sammy. I might not know what a kitchen is, but I do know what a library is and that’s where I’m gonna park myself…doing…whatever it is you do in a library.” He grinned over at his little brother even though he knew Sam couldn’t see it, but hoped he could at least hear the gentle teasing in his voice.

“I didn’t know you were coming by, Jody,” Sam finally spoke up, leaning his back up against the headboard,  
“It’s good to see-I mean…I’m glad you’re here…”

“How are you feeling, big guy?” She chose not to comment on the “seeing” remark and instead scooted closer and took Sam’s hands carefully in her own. She waited to make sure he wouldn’t pull away before squeezing them,  
“You’re looking good.”

Snorting, Sam answered back before he had time to think,  
“Yeah, good for someone who has no eyeballs. Nice, tell me the truth, Jody.”

Jody’s face turned red as she shook her head in embarrassment,  
“Sam, don’t say that-“

“Why?” He interrupted, anger leaking into his voice,  
“Why shouldn’t I say it?”

“Because you’re getting better, Sam; you’re healing, even if you don’t know it yet,” She answered back softly,  
“Give yourself some credit, honey, you went through hell this last year; you went through more then I even remotely did and you’re still alive. You’re still breathing and you’re brother is here with you. You’ve confided in him about every ugly little detail that happened in that barn and Dean still loves you. You’ve got a right to be angry and scared, Sam; it’s only natural for somebody in your condition-“

“All I want is my old life back,” Sam shook his head, pain filling his voice as he spoke,  
“I know that sounds childish of me, I know it does, but I want to be able to help my brother for a change, Jody, you know? He was in Purgatory that year and once again, I couldn’t help him and I can’t help him now-“

“No, you’re wrong, Sam,” Jody gently admonished with a shake of her head,  
“You can help him, but he wants to help you first. You know your brother better then anyone, honey; you’ve both got that stubborn streaks a mile wide and Lord only knows that Dean won’t allow himself to be helped until you’re better.” When Sam didn’t reply, the sheriff continued,  
“Tell me why you don’t want the prosthetics, sweetie.”

“I’m sure Dean already told you.”

“I want to hear it from you,” She answered back, unwilling to drop the subject matter before it was even discussed,  
“Will you tell me?”

Sam sucked in a sharp breath,  
“I don’t deserve it, Jody…”

“And why is that?”

Jody thought Sam wasn’t going to reply at first, but just as she was about to speak again, he replied quietly,  
“I just don’t. I know Dean thinks I deserve it; I understand why he would think that, but why can’t I get the Leviathan’s words out of my head? It’s like they’re imprinted in my brain, no matter how much I don’t want to believe them, I do.”

“But why would that have anything to do with getting a pair of eyes back, Sam?”

“You were there, Jody,” Sam’s voice grew even more quiet as he spoke,  
“He had even more fun using Dean’s form after I went blind; he had more fun twisting what Dean really thought about me and turned it upside down. All I could hear from him, over and over again, was that I was a failure to my brother, that I didn’t deserve to be happy, that I didn’t deserve to live and that my own brother hated me…”

Jody’s heart shattered as she watched Sam’s face crumple in shame and guilt and tears started streaking down his cheeks. Without hesitation, she let go of his hands and gathered him close to her chest, running a careful hand through his much too long hair,  
“Shhh…” she soothed, just allowing Sam to cry against her for a few minutes before she pulled back and cupped his face in her palms,  
“Take it easy, Sam, alright?” He nodded his head and gathered himself together as much as he could be she began,  
“This is why Dean won’t allow you to help him right now, Sam. Those lies that were inserted into your head were just that. Lies. Bullshit. And then some…Tell me something, Sam.”

“Yeah?”

“Do you believe that your brother loves you?”

“Of course I do,” Sam replied instantly without a second thought.

“Do you believe that he would do anything to help you? To make you feel safe again?” She waited as Sam seemed to take longer to answer that before he nodded his head in her hands,  
“Do you trust your brother, Sam?”

“With my life.” Those three little words came out with such conviction in Sam’s voice that Jody had to smile despite the heaviness in her heart.

“More importantly now, do you trust him with how he feels about you and keeping you protected?”

“Why are you asking me that?” Sam frowned, his brow furrowing in concentration.

“Do you?”

“I guess so…”

“That’s not a real answer, Sam,” Jody never removed her hands from Sam’s face as she brushed her thumb over the younger boy’s cheek,  
“If you trust him, do you trust him with you?”

“Yes…”

“Then trust him now, trust me now, when we say that you deserve to be happy again, to feel better again. And getting these prosthetics won’t give you your sight back, sweetie, but it’s a huge step in healing. I’m not telling you what to do, but I think you’re punishing yourself more then you realize. You’re taking everything that’s happened this last year and putting it all on your shoulders, as if you could’ve prevented it and stopped it from happening. But we can’t turn back time, Sam, but we can go forward. YOU can go forward and heal”

0000

It was later that night, hours after Jody had left the bunker, when Dean looked up from the book of Brail that he was trying to understand at the sound of his brother coming down the hall. He scooted his chair back and rushed around to the other side of the table just as Sam and his cane came into the library. Cane, step, cane, step. 

“Need any help there, bro?” He carefully asked, standing nearby just in case. The last thing he wanted right now was for his brother to feel bombarded. But that didn’t stop him from placing a hand near Sam’s elbow just in case,  
“You got it?”

“I got it this time, Dean,” Sam replied, sensing his brother right beside him even as he lowered himself into the chair at the table,  
“I’m not going down stairs right now…”

“That’s good, that’s good,” Dean pulled up a chair beside his little brother and took a seat again, ignoring the Brail book in front of him,  
“I’m surprised you’re up; I thought you were sleeping…”

“I was,” Sam replied, leaning down carefully to set his cane on the floor with a clatter,  
“But I wanted to come out and talk with you real quick, you did say you would be in the library, didn’t you?”

“I did, Sammy, and I am,” He reached across the table and pulled the book back in front of him,  
“What’s on your mind, kiddo? You didn’t talk once Jody left; you went right back to sleep.”

“I just wanted to apologize for being so grouchy and angry lately,” Sam began, turning his head to where he suspected his brother was sitting,  
“I know I keep saying it, but it’s true, and I want you to know it.” He spoke again before he let Dean say anything,  
“This is hard as hell, Dean…It’s like I don’t know how to function anymore and…I’m just sorry.”

“Sammy-“

“Jody spoke with me about a lot of things this afternoon, Dean,” Sam continued quietly, lowering his head to his lap and his long hair falling into his face,  
“I’m still scared as hell, but she made me realize something and-and that was that you need to know that I trust you with this. Despite everything that happened this last year, I still trust you. And…”

“And what, Sammy?” Dean gently prodded, resting a hand on his brother’s upper arm.

“And if that means trusting you that getting the prosthetics will be a step in the right direction, then I think I’ll be willing to take you up on it,” Sam continued. Fear was still ever present in his voice as he never lifted his head,  
“I honestly don’t know if it could make me feel better, it scares the living shit out of me…but I trust you with this, Dean…”

Without saying a single word, Dean moved his arm and wrapped it tightly around his brother’s shoulders and squeezed tightly. Relieved that Sam couldn’t see the relief in his green eyes, he allowed the tears that had been threatening them all day to finally fall.

0000

TBC


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

The next couple of weeks came and went and soon faded with time. As those weeks turned into two months, Dean was finding things slowly starting to get easier for his little brother. Adjusting of course took time and patience, but thankfully the older brother had an endless supply of that patience whenever Sam feared he was going off the deep end or he was getting impatient and angry with himself. Each time, Dean was right there whenever his brother needed him by his side, whether it be physically or just as a listening ear. Every night, the two brothers had seemed to develop their own routine when they went to bed and as the weeks turned into months, Dean found that their little nightly routine was helping his brother way more then Sam even thought; but Dean knew better, he knew his brother better then anyone. If anyone thought of doing something as simple as talking with each other in their own beds nightly until Sam fell asleep, whether it be funny memories or serious conversation, it was Dean. And Dean was more then willing to do just that.

Dean had yet to bring up the topic of the Seeing-Eye dog, after all it did take a little thinking it over to convince himself that this could be the perfect option for Sam. But after talking with Jody some more about it, he realized the perfect opportunity to bring it up. And that would involve a little trip after their latest doctor visit; Dean couldn’t think of a more perfect time then that to do it, his brother absolutely loved dogs and knowing that he could possibly be getting one as well as prosthetics would make it all the more special for his little brother. The older brother had also been in converse with Sheriff Mills over the course of the last few weeks, keeping her up to date on Sam and although they had yet to receive the special something from Jody that would help his brother with Brail, Dean had gotten right on it with the books in the library. Thankfully, his baby brother seemed more then eager to learn it with him; they would learn together and practice together and even though they didn’t have too much to go on, it often sometimes brought some laughter between them that felt practically foreign these days.

Sam had been fitted for the prosthetics a couple of weeks ago, after more thinking on his part and a lot more talks with his brother, until he finally came to the conclusion that he wanted them. If no other reason then to appear normal out in public. Dean was more then happy when his brother appeared to relax a bit when his appointment started; as they talked more and more about it, the older Winchester didn’t even allow himself to think of how in the world they were going to pay for this.

It wasn’t until the end of the appointment and Dean allowed the topic to switch to that, he found himself more then a little floored when the doctor had announced to him and Sam that an anonymous donation came from an unknown source to help pay for the prosthetics that Sam desperately needed. The older brother refused to allow the emotions to show on his face in front of the old geezer who had been examining Sam and he had refused to show it until they were out in the Impala. That was when he had folded his little brother into his arms and just held him for a few minutes as they both took it in.

Now, Dean was sitting next to Sam in the same clinic, his hand resting lightly on his shoulder as they waited for the doc to come in with the very thing that would change his brother’s life hopefully for the better. All he hoped for was that this wasn’t some big mistake, that his reassurances that this was for the better wasn’t just a bunch of crap.

 

“You nervous, Sammy?” Dean broke the silence, his hand still resting on his brother’s shoulder as the two sat side by side on the cushioned couch in the exam room.Sam fidgeted and twirled his hands together,  
“Yeah, a bit…Are you?”

“Nah,” Dean lied through his teeth,  
“I’m good. And so will you when we leave here. You’re getting your exact same eye color that you had before, you’ll feel like you again, Sammy, I know it.”

“I hope so,” Sam whispered, lowering his head and allowing his hair to fall into his face. It wasn’t until this past week that he had finally allowed his brother to take a pair of scissors to his head of hair which had grown ridiculously long that last year; it was only a trim, and Dean promised when he felt more ready and sure of himself, he would give him a real haircut. But not until Sam was ready,  
“I just want to get it over with…”

“Would it feel better I put them in for you?” Dean questioned, wanting more then anything for his little brother to relax, but knew that wouldn’t happen until the doctor was in the room,  
“Instead of the doc?” At Sam’s nod, Dean nodded his own head and replied,  
“Okay then. He won’t be touching you, I promise.” He felt Sam’s shoulders start to relax some at that statement, as if he just knew that his older brother would keep that promise and never break it.

0000

“How do they feel, Sammy?”

Silence had filled the exam room and Dean’s eyes never left his brother’s face as he watched Sam’s facial expressions. He just watched and waited as Sam blinked his eyes for the first time in months, his heart in his throat. The look on Sam’s face changed every couple of seconds from shock and awe, to fear and uncertainty, and then finally for the first time in months, he watched a tiny smile appear on his brother’s face that last more then two seconds.

“Dean…”

“How do they feel, Sam?” Dean repeated, wanting to know for certain that his brother wasn’t in any sort of pain at all, that he wasn’t hiding anything,   
“Are they comfortable?” He turned his eyes to the doctor standing beside him, who’s eyes were also directed on Sam as they waited for a response. From the moment the doc had first entered the room, Dean had made it crystal clear to him that he would be handling Sammy’s prosthetics; he just needed to be shown how to insert them. Maybe it was due to fear of what the older Winchester could very well do to him if he so much as touched his little brother; whatever it was, the doctor had agreed to it, which had led to no problems.

“They…feel comfortable, Dean,” Sam finally answered, blinking his eyes in shock one more time. God, it feel too weird to do that; even though the artificial eyes couldn’t move and he couldn’t see of course, to know that there was actually something underneath his eyelids...the very thought brought a few tears welling up and he allowed them to fall down his cheeks,  
“It’s almost like…they feel real…”

Not giving a rat’s ass that the doctor was in the same room as them and that he was about to bear witness to an all-out chick-flick moment, Dean ignored the man and closed the gap between his brother and himself and pulled him to his chest. Placing his hand on the back of his little brother’s neck, he closed his own eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around Sam, whispering into his ear,  
“And they look real, kiddo; they’re all yours.”

0000

So much had changed in just the time span of one hour that Dean was unable to control the smile that wouldn’t leave his face as he and Sam climbed back into the Impala. After he made sure that his little brother didn’t hit his head on the door as he climbed inside, Dean moved back around to the driver’s side, shutting the door behind him but not starting the car up. As he sat there for a few moments in silence, he then turned back to his brother, his face now turning serious,  
“You sure they feel alright there, kid?”

Still in some sort of trance from the experience in the doctor’s office, the knowing that he actually looked half-way normal again, Sam nodded his head slowly,  
“Yeah…It’s weird and all, but they really do feel…real…” He lifted a trembling hand and brought it up to his face, tentatively touching his eyelids and feeling around,  
“Is this real, Dean?”

Dean’s eyebrows arched a notch,  
“Of course it’s real, Sammy. This is all real, I promise you that.” He watched as Sam lowered his shaking hand back down to his lap and then turned in his seat until he was fully facing his brother,  
“You know you deserve this, little brother. Right?” When he was met with silence, Dean raised an eyebrow at him and continued,  
“You deserve nothing less. Am I right?”

Silence.

“Sammy?”

“I’m trying, Dean,” Sam whispered back, turning his head in Dean’s direction,  
“I really am…”

“That’s why we’re continuing to talk through all of this,” The older Winchester replied back softly yet firmly,  
“Because I won’t just let all this drop. You’re going to get better, Sam, I don’t care how long it takes and you deserve to have this given to you, alright? Just accept it.”

Sam jerkily nodded his head as fiddled with the cane resting against his leg,  
“Now what?”

“Now…I’ve got a little something I want to talk with you about, Sam. Something else that could also help you.”

“Something else?” Sam frowned in confusion,  
“Dean…I just got a pair of eyes back and I’m finally starting to learn how to walk without falling on my face or rolling down the stairs. I’d say that’s a lot of help there, don’t you think?”

“Yes, but I’ve been thinking about this for a while; Jody, actually, was the one who mentioned it to me,” Dean revealed,  
“That day she came by to visit a few months ago?”

“You guys never said anything,” Sam whispered back, going over in his head what his brother and the Sheriff could have possibly come up with. It wasn’t like they could just give him his real eyes back or his vision.

Dean smiled slightly as he rested a hand on his brother’s upper arm,  
“That’s because we wanted it to be a surprise and we still do.” He watched as Sam’s face seemed to form one huge question mark,  
“You’ll find out, Sammy, don’t worry; you won’t have to see it in order to know, I can promise you that.”

“So we’re headed to Jody’s then?”

Dean turned back to the steering wheel and turned the key in the ignition,  
“Something like that, Sam.” Not saying anything else and grinning at the confusion written all over his little brother’s face, Dean backed out of the parking lot of the doctor’s office and started back out onto the highway.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on his little brother’s face when they got there.

0000

TBC


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I am very well aware that I might have facts regarding Seeing-Eye dogs wrong here and that it might take longer to get one for a blind person, but just play along with me here, k? lol. Poor Sammy just really needs some good to happen in his life right now, so I’m willing to let some facts be wrong for Sam’s sake!
> 
> A/N2- This chapter is dedicated to Aecoris (I told you I would do it!). Thank you for the constant support these last few months! *hug*

Chapter 26

“I’m so glad you decided to come,” Jody’s smile was a mile wide as she hugged Sam tightly to herself, moving one hand to rest on the back of his head,  
“So glad.” 

Sam moved one arm to hug his friend back while his other hand held tightly to his cane,  
“Hey, Jody.” Confusion filled the younger Winchester at just where exactly they were, they couldn’t have been too horribly far from the bunker-or as Dean fondly dubbed it, the Batcave; they had only been driving for no longer then two hours before his brother had announced their arrival. Where that was, Sam once again had no clue. But upon hearing Jody’s voice, the younger brother grew even more confused. 

“Let me get a look at you, honey,” Jody released him and placed her hands on both of his shoulders, taking in Sam’s new prosthetics,  
“They look so damn real, nobody would ever know.”

Dean gently nudged his brother in the ribs, grinning,  
“Told you, Sammy.” The older brother was unable to contain the smile on his face; if anybody needed to hear this from someone other then himself, it was Sam. He kept a close eye on his little brother as he allowed Jody to take a hold of Sam’s elbow and help guide him inside of the small house they had pulled up to.

“Where are we?” Sam finally asked as he took a seat on the soft couch, resting his cane on the floor by his feet,  
“Dean wouldn’t tell me anything, just that there was a surprise or something…”

Sheriff Mills arched an eyebrow in Dean’s direction and was rewarded with a look of innocence from the older Winchester and a small shrug as he took a seat beside Sam,  
“So you’ve got no clue why you’re here then?” At Sam’s shake of his head, Jody grinned mischievously and moved towards the door to the kitchen,  
“Wait here, boys.”

“Do we look like we’re going anywhere?” Dean quipped back, keeping one hand resting on his brother’s arm. As Jody disappeared, the older Winchester turned back towards Sam,  
“I told you they looked real, Sam.”

“That’s Jody, though; she knows us, so of course she’d say that-“

“Shut up, you know she wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true,” Dean interrupted,  
“But if you insist on having another opinion, you’ll get another chance here shortly.”

Sam’s eyebrows arched up at those words,  
“There’s somebody else here? Dean, what…?” Panic slowly started to seize the younger brother. What in the world was Dean doing? Being around Jody and the doctors were one thing, but a complete stranger?  
“What the hell are you-“

“Calm down, little brother,” Dean reassured, moving his hand until it was resting on Sam’s left shoulder,  
“I am in no way, shape or form throwing you to a pack of wolves here, Sam. I would not have done this if I didn’t know beforehand that it was a good idea. Just trust me here, Sammy. Remember everything we talked about?”

“I know, Dean, it’s just…” He fiddled with the cane he still clenched in his hand,  
“How many others are there?”

“Only one other person, I swear to you,” Dean promised, squeezing Sam’s shoulder gently,  
“You’ll thank me when this is all over, Sam. Just calm down.” Feeling the slight trembling in his little brother’s shoulder, Dean sighed softly and continued,  
“This person knows Jody. And Garth. You’re in good hands here, Sammy; I’m also with you, so you know you can’t go wrong when your big brother’s here.”

“I know,” Sam nodded, trying to calm his racing heart as he heard footsteps on the other side of the door as well as another slight sound. A soft padding and a slight jingle. He frowned and blinked his eyes, tuning in to the new sounds that were getting closer.

Dean turned his head from his brother back to Jody and the other woman who was right beside her. His eyes drifted down to the much smaller being that was beside them and was unable to stop himself from cringing, if only slightly. This was for Sammy, he was doing this for his little brother and he was not about to let him see the discomfort it was causing him. 

“Dean?” Sam frowned in concern, turning his head towards his left.

“Sammy, we’d like you to meet someone,” Dean rose to his feet and allowed the other woman to make her way towards his brother, but didn’t move too far from him.

“Hello, Sam. My name is Meredith,” The much older woman shot a quick glance in Dean’s direction, asking a silent question and once he gave his nod of approval, she gently reached out towards Sam’s hand that wasn’t holding the cane and let him shake it,  
“It’s so nice to meet you.”

Sam hesitantly shook the older woman’s hand briefly before he set it back in his lap,  
“Hello.” His voice shook slightly, his heart starting to thump all over again.

Meredith knelt down in front of the youngest Winchester, not fazed at all by the hesitance and slight fear she was hearing in Sam’s voice,  
“I take it you and your brother both know my friend, Jody?” 

Sam nodded again, feeling some of the trembling start to lessen at the mention of his friend’s name,  
“Yes. She’s a friend of ours.”

“Damn write I am,” Jody piped up, wanting to at least give Sam some sort of reassurance that both she and her brother were still nearby. This wasn’t going to be easy at first, she knew that already as did Dean; but she had no doubt that once Sam knew what it was he was here for, that smile that had been missed this last year would make its appearance again.

“Sam, I work for an organization that I think would really benefit you, that would help you,” Meredith continued carefully,   
“It’s called The Seeing Eye.” Noticing the confusion spreading over Sam’s face, the older woman smiled again and rose to her feet, taking the offered leash that Jody was holding,  
“Sam, I would like for you to meet Riot.”

“What?” The frown on Sam’s face grew slightly until he felt the soft fur and wet nose against his hand. His hand shook slightly as he lifted it and he heard soft sniffing noises coming from the animal in front of him,  
“A…dog…?”

“It’s a Seeing-Eye dog, Sam,” Meredith explained, holding onto the dog’s leash,  
“He’s a Golden Retriever and he has been trained specifically for people that are in your shoes.” 

“A dog?” Sam repeated, his voice not as shaky this time around as he fully let go of the cane in his right hand and brought both hands out to the dog. Tears slowly started to build up as he felt the rough tongue against his hands,  
“Dean…You knew about this?”

“It was Jody’s idea when she came by a few months ago. Remember that?” Dean kept a safe distance from the dog, but made sure his voice didn’t give away his nervousness around the animal,  
“She suggested it; she said she knew of someone who trained these animals.”

“They’ve been known to change people’s lives for the better, Sam,” Meredith spoke up again, releasing the leash and placing it in one of Sam’s hands,  
“He was raised for this ever since he was a puppy.”

Sam’s tears slowly started to run down his cheeks as he held the leash in his hand and felt the dog place one paw on the other while he licked his face. The younger brother had absolutely no words for this at the moment; he had been wanting a dog for so horribly long, one for his own, one to keep…But his brother had such a strong dislike for dogs, ever since the Hellhounds had dragged him to Hell those years ago. How was there any possible way that they could get one of these animals for him?

“Sammy-“

“We can’t do this,” Sam interrupted, lifting a hand and running his fingers through the dog’s fur and stroking it,  
“I mean…you and dogs…”

“Yes, we can do this, little brother,” Dean interrupted before his brother could finish the sentence,  
“Why do you think I didn’t tell you about it right away? For one, I wanted to surprise you, but you know how I feel about dogs…” Before Sam could speak up, Dean continued,  
“But this is not because of me, Sammy; you know full well what I’m willing to do for you and yes, I’m even willing to do this.” He gestured towards the large dog who had gone back to licking his little brother’s face. He was unable to hold back a smile of his own as he watched a tearful smile appear on Sam’s face and for the first time since he had been kidnapped by Missy Bender and those damn Leviathans, his dimples even popped out. Dean had to blink back his own tears at just the site; his brother was starting to almost feel normal again and being around big old dogs was worth it if it meant his brother was going to smile. He had barely seen a full smile on Sam’s face ever since before he got sent to Purgatory and seeing it now was well worth the wait.

“But how do we pay for all this? I mean-“

“Sam,” Jody interrupted, taking a step closer and kneeling down next to her friend and Riot,  
“Who do you think paid for the prosthetics?” She waited as Sam’s eyes widened in shock at the words and let it all sink in.

“How did you know about that?” Dean uttered, choking on his own voice,  
“Jody…that was YOU?”

“And Meredith,” Sheriff Mills nodded at her friend standing behind her,  
“We pulled all of our funds together and we helped because we wanted to,” She turned her full attention back on Sam, who was still petting the dog’s soft fur even as the animal moved to licking Sam’s hands.

“And we’re going to do the same for the dog here,” Meredith finished, nodding down at Riot,  
“I would like for you to train with him for approximately 4 weeks, Sam, to see how well he works for you. If it turns out he’s not the right one for you, we’ll try another one. But Riot seems to have taken a liking for you, honey, I think you two will work well together. Just give it a shot and come on back down here in about a month we’ll finish any paperwork that needs to be done and he’ll be all yours.”

“The Impala, Dean…a dog in your car?” Sam couldn’t resist a small chuckle at just the thought and wished he could see the expression on his brother’s face as he mentioned this,  
“You might have to clean it later…”

Dean rolled his eyes at just the thought of a Golden Retriever…or better yet, any type of animal, in Baby,  
“With your help, Sam,” 

Sam’s laughter died down slightly as he took in his brother’s words,  
“Really?”

Dean lifted one eyebrow and noticed that his brother was actually serious about this,  
“No, Sammy, I’m not going to make you clean the car because of dog smell.”

“Oh,” Sam’s face took on slight disappointment as he rubbed Riot underneath the ears,  
“I just thought that maybe…I could somehow learn to be slightly normal again, you know?”

“Not yet, kiddo,” Dean seriously replied, not willing to take that giant step yet in willing to allow his brother to do some daily tasks again,  
“Later, alright?”

Sam sighed in silent agreement and went back to rubbing the animal’s ears. He smiled again as he noticed that Riot really seemed to enjoy having his ears rubbed.

“There’s one more thing,” Jody rose to her feet and moved towards her bag which was resting near the front door,  
“Remember how I told you that I might have a solution to learning Brail?”

“Yeah, you said to give you a few days,” Dean narrowed his eyes and folded his arms, his eyes on the Sheriff as she moved back over to the couch and took a seat beside Sam,  
“It’s been over a month, Sheriff, if I may point out…”

“Shut it, you,” Jody quipped back, opening up her bag and pulling out a laptop very similar to Sam’s,  
“It took a lot longer then I had expected, but I think it will be worth it.” She nodded towards Meredith to move the dog away from Sam and once the younger boy’s hands were free, she placed the laptop in his lap.

A sadness crossed over Sam’s face as he ran his hands over the familiar feel of the computer,  
“You know I can’t use a computer, Jody…” He attempted to push it back towards his friend, but was shocked as she shoved it right back.

“I know that, Sam,” Jody firmly said, opening up the laptop and turning it on,  
“Just be patient.” 

A few minutes passed in silence until Sam suddenly jumped as an automated voice suddenly greeted him,  
“Hello, Sam Winchester.”

“…The hell?” Dean finally moved closer and took a seat on Sam’s other side, staring over at the laptop,  
“Jody, what the hell was that?”

Ignoring the question, Jody instead just waited as the automated voice continued,  
“What would you like to do today?”

Poking Sam in the ribs with her elbow, Jody silently urged him to say something and smiled as he opened his mouth and spoke, his voice cracking slightly with emotion,  
“The Internet.”

A quiet jingle noise was heard on the screen and as Dean watched over his brother’s shoulder, his eyes widened in surprise as the main screen for the Internet popped up and the automated voice continued,  
“What would you like to look up?”

His emotions starting to get the better of him, the tears now falling freely down his face, Sam shakily shut the laptop with a snap and allowed Jody to hold him tightly in her arms, her hand running up and down his back,  
“T-Thank you…” He whispered tearfully, burying his face into her shoulder.

“Your welcome, sweetie,” She whispered back, meeting Dean’s eyes over Sam’s shoulder and seeing the mistiness gathering in his own green eyes,  
“And you deserve it. Don’t you?”

Pulling back slightly, Sam brought a hand up and wiped at the wetness gathering on his cheeks,  
“I’ll get back to you on that one.”

“We’re still working on that, Jody,” Dean’s smile was tinged with sadness as he too reached over and took his baby brother into his own arms,  
“But he will know sooner rather then later, I can promise you that.”

0000

TBC


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

“I don’t get it,” Sam was saying a couple hours later as he sat on the floor of the library, his legs spread-eagled as Riot laid in between them, his paws resting on the younger Winchester’s jeans,  
“Dean, you hate dogs; I mean, after the Hellhounds…” He sighed quietly as that memory washed over him and he shook his head,  
“I wouldn’t have blamed you if you chose not to get a dog-“

“See, that’s exactly why I waited to surprise you with it, Sammy,” Dean interrupted, taking a seat beside his brother but also keeping a safe distance from the animal who not once left Sam’s lap since they returned to the Batcave,  
“I knew that all you would be thinking of was my experience with the Hellhounds and now worry about what would be best for you.” He nodded down at Riot, although he knew his little brother couldn’t see it,  
“And it’s a Guide Dog, Sam; it’s specifically for you, to train with you and to help you. It’s not mine. And I’m willing to put up with any discomfort if it means that it’s good for you.”

Sam frowned as his hands rubbed Riot’s ears again,  
“You already did so much for me, Dean, in these last months since…” He stopped before he said the words and shook his head, his hair falling into his eyes,  
“Why can’t you worry about yourself for once?”

“Because taking care of ME isn’t my job, Sam; taking care of you is my job,” Dean replied firmly, leaning up against the wall,  
“So suck it up and accept that we’re freely doing this for you. You’re my little brother, Sammy, and I won’t take ‘No’ for an answer this time,” He lifted an eyebrow at his brother and watched as a small smile appeared on Sam’s face before it disappeared again and he turned slightly in Dean’s direction.

“Are you sure about this though, Dean?” Sam asked, sadness for his brother leaking into his voice,  
“I don’t want to do this to you if you’re not certain…”

“You’re not doing anything to me, Sam,” Dean interrupted again,  
“You like this animal, don’t you?” He watched as Sam nodded his head eagerly and was about to say something, but Dean stopped him,  
“He’s clearly attached to you already and you haven’t even begun training with him yet. What kind of brother would that make me if I took something like that from you?”

“Dean, it’s not that,” Sam broke in as he stopped petting Riot as the dog rose up from the floor and padded around to the younger brother’s right side so that he could stare at both Sam and Dean,  
“Won’t it make you uncomfortable?”

“Nah, I’ll be alright, kid,” Dean flippantly replied, trying his damndest to believe those words that came out of his mouth,  
“Really, Sammy. I promise.” The older Winchester was unable to control a laugh as he watched the classic Sam bitch-face appear on his little brother’s face,  
“You still got the bitch-face down, Sam. I must say, it’s good to see that again.”

“Shut up,” Sam mumbled, his hand still holding onto the dog’s leash,  
“But seriously, Dean…Just say the word if…you know…”

“It won’t happen, Sam,” Dean promised, rising to his feet and keeping his eyes on his brother as he also started to rise, the dog’s leash never leaving his hand,  
“I promise.”

“Then you’ll let me help you clean your car then?” Sam’s voice was laced with eagerness as he spoke. Under normal circumstances, he would’ve just let his brother take care of the Impala. But then again, under normal circumstances, they wouldn’t have gotten a dog and the car wouldn’t have needed a cleaning out of dog smell.

“I told you not yet, Sammy,” Dean sighed, knowing exactly what Sam was getting at. He knew he was being overprotective and he knew that Sam was eventually going to have to try to do things on his own if he was going to gain his independence back, but Dean was just not ready for that yet. If there was one thing he was not willing to see, it was his baby brother getting hurt again,  
“I mean it.”

“Dean, I’m going to have to figure this out sooner then later,” Sam pleaded,  
“It’s not like I’m ever going to get my sight back…” He stopped as he said the few words he never wanted to say and swallowed the lump forming in his throat,  
“So I’m gonna have to make the most of this, you know that. I can’t just sit here learning Brail for the rest of my life…”

“Until I feel you’re ready, you’re gonna be doing just that, Sam,” Dean firmly ordered, not wanting to upset his brother, but clearly set on his opinions,  
“End of story.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the air before Dean finally broke it and stepped closer to his brother and Riot, who was patiently waiting beside Sam’s feet,  
“Now let’s figure out how this animal works for you, alright?” He watched as a look of slight anger appeared on Sam’s face before it was replaced with acceptance and then excitement at the mention of Riot.

“All right.”

0000

“And I thought Brail was supposed to be easy!” Dean grumbled under his breath as he sat at the table with Sam a week later, a thick book splayed out in between them,  
“This stuff is harder then I ever thought!”

Sam chuckled as he moved his fingers over the pages and then back again to the beginning,  
“That’s because you can see, Dean,” He frowned in concentration as his brain worked on trying to figure out what he was reading,  
“I’ll bet you anything that that entire sentence was a spell on how to exorcise a demon.”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/tumblr_mdx70idyOD1qjo7v5o1_400_zps9260fcb1.png.html)

Dean lifted an eyebrow at his little brother’s words and moved the book closer to him,  
“You can actually make that out, Sam?” 

Sam laughed and shook his head,  
“Let’s give it a test then.” He reached to his left and grasped onto the edge of the open laptop that was resting there and pulled it closer to him,  
“I’ll bet you I’m right.”

“I’ll bet you I’m right,” Dean mocked, no anger and heat in the words. Instead, he grinned as he listened to his brother speak clearly into the computer’s specialized voice operated system,  
“I’ll bet you $20 bucks you’re off, kiddo.”

“You sure you wanta do that?” Sam lifted an eyebrow,  
“Brail translation.” He spoke clearly and turned back to Dean,  
“If you really wanta go that route, make it $50. Then you’re on.”

“It’s a deal,” Dean grinned and shook his brother’s offered hand as he leaned over Sam’s shoulder and took in the webpage that had popped up.

“Well?” Sam pressed, pushing the laptop closer to Dean,  
“What does it say?” He waited, listening as Dean mumbled to himself and pages were turned on the book, until finally his brother spoke and he knew instantly what the answer was.

“Son of a bitch…”

“Pay up,” Sam held out an open palm, waiting until his brother slapped the cash into it,  
“Thank you.” He slipped the money into his pocket and turned to his right where he knew his brother sat, arms crossed with a pout on his face. He didn’t have to have vision in order to know that his brother was pouting,  
“Look at it this way, Dean. It’s not like you lost it at hustling pool.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and turned back to the book, taking the laptop and pushing it across the table again,  
“Next time…Make it $100.”

0000

“I know I’m being overprotective, Jody, I do,” Dean whispered from outside the bedroom door the next morning,  
“But he could still get himself hurt if I allow him to do normal activities now.” He sighed and leaned up against the wall, looking up at the ceiling,  
“I know he’s pissed and all, but his safety is more important to me.”

“Dean, it’s not like he’s asking if he can drive the Impala,” Sheriff Mills shot back, her voice firm,  
“He just wants do try something normal for a change, like helping you clean the car of dog smell. Think about it, Dean, he hasn’t had normal in over a year, not since Missy Bender got her claws in him. And normal is what he needs in order for him to completely heal once and for all. And I’m not just talking about being able to use a computer or going for a walk with Riot, I’m talking about helping out around the house or motel; making his own bed; fixing himself something to eat-“

“Don’t you think I know that?” Dean interrupted heatedly, glancing back over his shoulder to make sure Sam was still asleep. He knew it was pretty much impossible these days to know whether or not his little brother was really sleeping or if he was just faking it so that he could eavesdrop on Dean’s phone calls; but he still was not willing to take his eyes off of his brother yet and that was all there was to it,  
“Jody, you saw him for yourself. You were the one who was there with him in that barn when Missy and those sons of bitches did all that shit to him. It’s taken us this long to get us to this place where he’s able to LAUGH again and I’m not willing to see him take any steps backwards.”

Unknowing to the oldest Winchester, inside the bedroom where Sam lay, the younger brother opened his eyes and sat up in bed, yet made sure he was as quiet as possible. The last thing he wanted was for his brother to know that he was awake. He listened in as Dean appeared to be talking on the phone right outside the door to Sheriff Mills and frowned as he took in the words his brother was saying,  
“That’s it…” He whispered to himself just as he felt a slight nudge against his hand and a dip in the bed as Riot jumped up onto the bed,  
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing, Riot…” With a quick scratch behind the dog’s ears, Sam pushed back the covers and climbed out of bed, feeling his way over towards his brother’s bed and grinned as he found that just like always, it was unmade and messy.

Feeling a slight nudge against his foot, Sam squatted down and gently urged the dog back over to his bed,  
“Stay there, Riot.” Hearing the spring of the mattress, the younger Winchester smiled and rose to his feet again,  
“Good boy.” With one final breath as he listened his brother seemed to be moving a little farther away from the bedroom door, Sam took this as his perfect opportunity and reached down to grab onto the sheets that were hanging on the floor,  
“My brother can never make his bed, Riot; that’s why I’m doing it for him,” He continued whispering as he fumbled around and tucked the edges underneath the mattress,  
“Just…like…so…” He smoothed down the sheet and a few minutes later did the same with the rest of the bedding. A smile crept its way onto his face as he moved his hand to smooth the wrinkles down one final time,  
“And there you have it.” He listened closely to see if his brother was getting any closer to the bedroom door and when he wasn’t, Sam moved back to his own bed and took a seat,  
“Riot, up.” He waited until the dog was resting at his feet on the bed before he reached for the laptop that was sitting on the end table beside his bed. He opened it up and prepared himself just as he heard Dean’s phone shut off and soft footsteps getting closer until the bedroom door opened all the way.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/420bb72a-6ba6-4bde-a920-d6f5e28407e5_zps6c87177f.jpg.html)

“Hey, Sammy, I didn’t know you were…” Dean’s gaze travelled over to his bed and his eyebrows rose up to his forehead. He shot a curious look his little brother’s way, watching as he fussed around with his computer and not looking his way at all,  
“…up.” He finished his sentence and then crossed his arms,  
“Sammy, what’s this?”

“What’s what?”

“You know what.”

“Actually, I don’t,” Sam shook his head, his much too long hair falling over his shoulders and into his eyes. Silently cursing at the length it had gotten over the last year he was held prisoner, Sam knew it was going to have to get cut sooner or later, but that was the least of his concerns right now. Right now, his brother was for certain staring at him as if he had suddenly grown horns,  
“I can’t see, remember?”

“Okay, smart aleck,” Dean tossed back with a roll of his eyes,  
“You made the bed, didn’t you?”

“What if I did?” Sam never once looked up from the laptop as he spoke into the operated system,  
“How to do normal things when people are blind.”

“Sam…” 

“Yeah?” Sam looked up innocently as if he was just noticing his brother’s presence in the room.

“You’re trying to tell me something, aren’t you?”

“What if I am?” Sam remarked with a shrug of his shoulders, turning back to his computer resting in his lap,  
“Blind people making beds.”

“Sammy! Seriously!”

Sighing softly, Sam closed the laptop with a click and lifted his head,  
“Okay, I did. You never make your bed, thought I’d do it for you.”

“Did you overhear my phone call?” He stopped as Sam lowered his head again,  
“You did.” He watched as his little brother shrugged his shoulders again and sighed,  
“Sammy, I’m sorry…”

“I know.”

“I just don’t want you hurt again-“

“Dean, I’m not asking to take the Impala out for a joyride,” Sam interrupted gently,  
“Or go back to hunting…” He stopped at the mention of things he knew he would never be able to do again,  
“But there are still things I can do; things I WANT to do,” He reached out for Riot as he climbed onto his now empty lap,  
“I still want and need you close by, Dean…but starting off with little things, like helping you wash your car or even learning how to fix my own meals again…Do you realize how much more normal that would make me?”

Feeling his face flush, Dean once again was relieved at the moment that his brother couldn’t see his reaction. He completely understood what Sam was saying, he really did; but how was he supposed to cut that leash he had Sam on these past couple of months?

“Please just trust me to try it out, Dean,” Sam pleaded, his heart thumping loudly in his ears as he waited for his brother’s reaction,  
“You’ve helped me and have been with me this entire time…Now please just help me with this. I’m asking as your brother.”

Dean closed his green eyes tightly and sucked in a sharp breath, knowing exactly what he had to do. What he needed to do. His brother had to heal completely and Sam had faith in himself that he could at least give this a try. He moved across the room and sat down on the bed across from his baby brother, trying to ignore the dog as it sniffed at his hands.

“All right, Sam,” He gave in with a nod of his head,  
“With my help. Alright?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Dean,” Sam replied, his voice cracking as he felt the dog leap off his lap and back onto the floor,  
“So you’ll let me help clean the car?”

“Yes, you made my bed pretty damn well, so I think you can help clean the car,” He smiled and chuckled as he felt his brother’s arms wrap around his neck in a bone-crushing hug,  
“Right choice, I take it, Sam?”

“Right choice.”

0000

TBC


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

“Just a little more to the right, Sam, that spot right there,” Dean gently moved his brother’s wrist a little bit until the rag he was holding was in the correct area,  
“Just like that; there’s the dog crap…”

Sam shook his head and chuckled as he allowed Dean to move his hand and then let go as he gently scrubbed at the back seat of the Impala,  
“It’s not Riot’s fault he did it back here, you know that, right?” He smirked and was unable to hold back a gentle retort,  
“And you’ve gotta admit, Dean…it has been left like this for over a week now, so it can’t be that bad…”

The older brother huffed humorlessly and went back to turn on the small vacuum to clean up the dog hair on the floor,  
“Who cares who long it’s been, Sam? Animal or not, it should know better to not do THAT in my car!” He ignored the snort of laughter that came from his brother’s nose,  
“My CAR, Sammy! This is supposed to be a Guide dog, he should have been trained to not go to the bathroom in my baby!” Just as he turned on the vacuum however, a furry head poked out from underneath his arm and he nearly dropped the piece of equipment,  
“Shit…Get away from here, can’t you see we’re trying to work?”

“Dean,” Sam interrupted,  
“Riot won’t hurt you and he won’t go to the bathroom again in the wrong place-“

“You bet he won’t,” Dean grumbled, taking a step away from the Golden Retriever as if he was afraid of even touching it.

Sam sighed softly and patted his leg as he straightened up and moved out of the car,  
“Riot, come.” He listened and waited until the dog had moved towards him and he grasped onto his leash,  
“Go over to my brother, boy.” 

“Sammy, what’re you doing?” Dean demanded.

Sam waited until the dog had stopped walking and he knelt down beside him, stroking his soft fur,  
“Tell me the truth, Dean,” He urged, lifting his head to where he suspected his brother was standing,  
“You’re really scared of him, aren’t you?” When the older Winchester didn’t reply, the younger brother’s face took on a look of deep concern,  
“This is different, Dean, he won’t hurt you. You know he won’t. He’s a Seeing-Eye dog, he’s been trained specifically to help me, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t like you, too. Why do you think he keeps getting in your way?”

Dean sighed and took a seat in the front seat of the Impala,  
“We’ve been over this, Sam-“

“And it hasn’t been resolved,” Sam interrupted gently, still keeping one hand on the dog,  
“I can tell you’re still scared because of the Hellhounds, Dean, and you have a right to be. So why did you allow me to get Riot if you were terrified?”

“Because you need him, Sam,” Dean replied instantly with a frown, unable to believe they were still having this conversation,  
“He’s helping you-“

“And I’m not the only one living in the same place with him,” The younger Winchester interjected,  
“What kind of life is that for you if you can’t even be around him? Because if this is how it’s making you feel…” He sucked in a sharp breath, preparing himself for what he was about to say,  
“If this is how you’re feeling, I’m just going to tell Jody and Meredith we can’t keep him.”

“No, Sammy,” Dean sharply ordered,  
“That’s not happening.”

“Then tell me what I can do, because you don’t deserve to be terrified for the rest of your life because of me-“

“It’s not you, Sammy, and you know it.”

“Maybe,” Sam uttered almost as if he was speaking to himself,  
“That’s not my point though, Dean…Just tell me what it is that terrifies you and how can I help?” He felt Riot move away from his hands and Sam held his breath as he listened to the animal pad over to his brother. It was almost as if he understood what they were talking about.

Dean stiffened up but didn’t say a word as he watched the Golden Retriever pad over to him and sniff his hands. He glanced over at his little brother and watched as Sam patiently waited for him to say or do something. The older brother let out a quiet sigh and finally spoke,  
“I’m sorry, Sam-“

“Don’t be.”

“-I just want what’s best for you; all I want is to be able to help you.”

“What do you think you’ve been doing all these months, Dean?” Sam quietly asked, still kneeling on the asphalt beside the Impala,  
“I wouldn’t have…I don’t know if…”

“I know, Sammy,” Dean finished, already knowing exactly what it was his brother was trying to tell him,  
“I know.” He held his breath as he lifted a slightly shaky hand and allowed Riot to sniff it and rub his hand against it,  
“And because you’re my kid brother, I’m gonna work on this…”

“Work on this?” Sam was confused, his brow furrowing as he spoke,  
“Work on what?”

“Trying not to be afraid of a dog,” Dean answered back somewhat gruffly,  
“I mean, it’s just an animal, it’s not a Hellhound; I know that.”

“So you’ll let me help you?”

Dean was taken aback at this question and he raised both eyebrows at his brother,  
“Uh, Sam, that’s my job, remember?” He smirked as Sam gave him the ultimate bitch-face right back.

“Shut up,” He mumbled, patting his leg again and motioning for Riot to return,  
“Riot. Come.” He smiled slightly as he felt the dog rub up against his thigh,  
“So was that a yes or a no?”

“I guess it’s a yes, although I don’t like it,” Dean replied, rising to his feet,  
“I do have one condition, though.”

Worry crossed Sam’s face again as he too rose to his feet and placed a hand on the top of the Impala,  
“What’s that?” He felt another cloth being placed in the palm of his left hand.

“Help me get the dog crap out of the backseat,” Dean grinned, slapping Sam’s back just as he nearly tripped over Riot who was standing at his brother’s feet,  
“And speaking of dogs…don’t you dare go into my baby, Riot; I’m just now getting her cleaned up-“

Before he could finish, he cursed loudly as the dog jumped up and settled himself into the backseat again,  
“Damn dog!” He scowled as he watched his brother throw his head back then and laugh,  
“It’s not funny, Sammy.”

“It is. It really is.”

“You really think so?” He grumbled with a shake of his head, moving over towards the water hose that was resting on the ground,  
“Tell me again how funny it is, little brother.”

“It’s hilarious,” Sam grinned, wishing he could see the expression on his older brother’s face, but his cursing was good enough for him at that moment,  
“At this rate, we’ll never get the car clean.” The dimples in his cheeks popped out as his grin grew. The more he laughed, the more he was slowly starting to realize just how good it felt to do that again, it had been way too long.

“That your final answer, Sam?” Dean turned the water hose on and watched as Sam nodded his head, all the while now holding his stomach from laughter,  
“All right, you asked for it, Sammy.” With that, he turned the water hose onto his brother and couldn’t hold back a laugh as he sprayed it right onto Sam, drenching him,  
“That’s a good look for you, little brother; the drowned rat look-“ His words were cut off just then as he watched Sam suddenly reach down for the bucket of water resting against the back tire of the Impala and splashed it right at him. Spitting the water out of his mouth, Dean released the water hose and turned back to his brother, watching as he smirked in his direction.

“We’re even now,” The younger brother retorted, placing the empty bucket back onto the ground and running his fingers through his drenched hair, pushing it out of his face.

“We’re even,” Dean repeated, suddenly unable to hold back a real smile. The dog, the car…none of that mattered to him right then; all that mattered was that he was seeing his little brother smile and laugh again and it was the most beautiful noise he had heard all year.

0000

“You sure you’re ready for this, kid?” Dean asked from where he sat behind Sam on his brother’s bed, a pair of scissors in his hands,  
“Because this can wait a little bit longer if you’re not ready; you know that.”

Sam clutched tightly to Riot’s collar for moral support and shook his head,  
“It needs to happen one of these days and it’s only going to get harder the longer I put it off. Might as well get it over with, you know?” He sucked in a trembling breath and slowly let it out,  
“After all, it’s just scissors and hair…Who cares if I can’t see it?” He forced a chuckle out even as his entire body shook from nerves.

Dean sighed as well and straightened the towel that he had draped around his brother’s shoulders,  
“Sam, I’m serious-“

“So am I,” He interrupted,   
“Just do it, Dean. I trust you.”

With those three little words, the words that were all Dean needed to hear from Sam, the older Winchester nodded his head in acceptance and got to work on cutting the much too long, wet locks hanging down Sam’s shoulders. As he cut, he spoke softly to his baby brother, trying to calm him down as he took in the still trembling shoulders,  
“Think of it this way, Sammy. This is a fresh start for you, this has not been done in over a year; not since Missy Bender and it’s going to be a clean start. You’re starting over, kiddo.”

Sam remained silent the whole half hour, almost afraid to speak as Dean continued cutting off the final reminders of the past year. He knew his brother was right; it was a fresh start, a clean start for him, and he wanted to get it out of the way. Finally, he felt Dean pat his shoulder and run a careful hand through the shortened hair to smooth it out and remove the towel from his shoulders.

“Finished.”

Sam finally released his hold on Riot’s collar and lifted a hand to feel the back of his head and found that a good portion had been cut off but it still wasn’t as short as it had been back from when he was at Stanford. 

“It’s much better, Sam,” Dean continued, placing his hand on his brother’s shoulder again and squeezing,  
“Still girly and all, but it’s no longer hanging down your back.” He smiled as Sam laughed quietly.

“Thanks,” Sam finally spoke for the first time in that half hour.

“No problem.”

0000

Dean awoke late that night and squinted at the time, confused as to why he had suddenly woken up at this hour. He ran a hand down his face and through his short hair before he glanced over to the bed beside his and found it empty. The older Winchester blinked his eyes a few times and looked around the room, but no Sam.

His big brother instincts kicking in, he pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed, not bothering to grab his robe or slippers. Trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting to startle his brother in case he found him returning from the bathroom or wherever, Dean pushed the door all the way open and walked out into the hall, heading straight towards the library. He stopped suddenly when he heard the familiar voice of his brother coming from the other room, but something was off.

Dean frowned and moved closer but not too close as he slowly started to make out what Sam was saying and who he was talking to. A soft whine coming from Riot also reached his ears and he leaned against the wall out of sight, but peaked around the corner. The sight greeting the older brother nearly broke his heart into a thousand pieces.

There, sitting with his back against the wall, was Sam and the dog was sitting in between his legs, his chin resting on Sam’s shoulder. His little brother’s arms were wrapped tightly around Riot and even in the dark, Dean could just make out the trembling in Sam’s shoulders as quiet sobs shook through him.

Big brother instinct was telling Dean immediately to go to his brother and comfort him like he always did, but another part of him was saying that he needed to leave Sam alone this time. This time, it was just between him and Riot. He didn’t know what had brought his brother out into the dark library this late at night; he didn’t know what had caused it. Was it a nightmare? Some dark memory he was reliving? Whatever it was, Dean knew deep in his gut that this was a private moment between his brother and his dog and intruding was not something he was willing to do.

Instead, the older Winchester continued staring at his little brother as he wept into Riot’s fur and was just able to make out Sam’s words, although barely,  
“I thought the nightmares were over…” His voice was muffled as he spoke and a soft whine escaped Riot as if he understood what Sam was saying,  
“I really thought…I haven’t had any in weeks…” Dean watched as Sam’s arms only tightened around the animals neck even as Riot licked his cheek,  
“It was awful…it was just awful…” His voice broke off as another quiet sob escaped and all was silent once again.

Dean closed his green eyes tightly and clenched his fists. A nightmare. That’s what it was. Another nightmare. His heart ached all over again for his brother; he knew it was bound to happen one of these days, when a sudden nightmare would come during sleep. Despite the fact that his brother was healing really nicely after his year’s worth of Hell on Earth, Dean knew very well that every now and then he was bound to have some sort of breakdown. What he wasn’t expecting was for Riot to be the comfort for his little brother instead of himself. 

He glanced over his shoulder at his brother and watched as Sam lifted a hand and wiped away the tear streaks on his cheeks before going back to hugging the dog tightly to him. If this animal was able to be of some comfort to Sam in a time when he needed it, in a time when he just needed to cry…well, it couldn’t be all that bad, could it?

0000

Sam didn’t see it coming. The last thing he had expected that night was for another nightmare to invade his dreams and mind. It had been weeks since he had dreamed about those 10 months trapped in that cage, being tortured, raped, blinded and worst of all, believing Dean to be dead. He was getting past it, he was healing. Hell, he was finally able to smile and laugh again and truly mean it when he said he was doing better.

But that night, after he had awoken with a start, sweat dripping from his forehead, the first thing he had heard was the sound of the soft whine beside him. Knowing just by instinct that Dean was still asleep and he was not about to wake his brother up because of this, Sam had allowed Riot to lead him out to the library where he just needed time to sort through his thoughts. What he didn’t see coming was the flood of tears that had soon escaped.

Before he knew it, the younger Winchester had just grabbed onto Riot and held on for dear life as if he was drowning. As Sam allowed the tears to come once again, and felt the dog’s head resting on his shoulder, he clenched his fists tightly into Riot’s fur and tried to get a hold of his emotions once more. Would the nightmares ever come to an end?

Really, deep down, he didn’t know if they ever would. It was hard to say at the moment. Did anybody ever find themselves free from nightmares after something like this? Sam found himself surprised that Dean never once woke up from nightmares after his year in Purgatory; his older brother always seemed to sleep peacefully through the night unless his “big brother instincts”- as he liked to call them-woke him up. 

Minutes passed by before Sam finally felt himself calming down some even though his cheeks were still wet with leftover tears. As he felt Riot’s tongue lick his cheek again, the younger Winchester allowed himself to smile slightly.

Maybe, just maybe, even though the nightmares still came and were still vivid every now and again...Maybe he really was healing. It wasn’t happening over night, but Sam remembered how just a few months ago, he couldn’t even get through a single night without a nightmare. He remembered how he was adamant to wear Dean’s amulet as a physical reminder that his brother was still there, that he wasn’t leaving. Hell, he and Dean were even joking and laughing with each other again.

If that didn’t say something, that things were definitely changing for the better despite the occasional nightmare, Sam didn’t know what would.

0000

TBC


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Later that night, it took a couple of hours for Sam to fall back to sleep, Riot nestled safely at his feet. He kept having to remind himself over and over again that there was no guarantee that another nightmare would follow; he was safe here with Dean, he was alive and he wasn’t still trapped in that cage with Missy Bender as his captor. Pulling the blankets up closer to his chest, the younger Winchester felt himself slowly starting to drift off again to the light snores of his brother beside him when Dean’s voice suddenly sounded in the darkness.

“Sammy…Get away…You’re not him…Get away…”

His eyes opening wide at his brother’s pleas, Sam was now fully awake once again and he sat straight up in bed, startling Riot. Ignoring the slight whimpers coming from the dog at having disturbed his own sleep, Sam shoved back his covers and swung his feet over the edge of the bed, his ears trained only on his older brother’s pleas.

This was different. For the few months they had been living here and ever since his rescue, he had never once heard Dean calling out to him in his sleep, much less pleading for someone, or something, to go away. His heart filled with worry now, Sam felt along the night stand in between the beds and moved his hands along until he felt the familiar touch of his brother’s bed and sat down.

“Dean,” He whispered, grasping his brother’s shoulder and gently shaking,  
“Dean, wake up.” 

His brother’s pleas only grew and Sam frowned as his concern grew. He grasped onto Dean’s other shoulder and shook both at the same time,  
“Dean, wake up, damn it. You’re having a nightmare.” He felt his older brother’s hands suddenly swing up and nearly knock him off the bed, but Sam steadied himself and moved his hands now to Dean’s face, cupping his cheeks in both hands,  
“Bro! Wake up!”

He suddenly heard a harsh gasp escape Dean and felt his brother suddenly sit up in bed, almost knocking him onto the floor again,  
“Sammy?” The older Winchester wiped his hands over his face tiredly, confused as to the sudden interruption of sleep. That is until he suddenly remembered…  
“Sam, what’s wrong?”

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/brotherswaking_zpsc22d6e70.jpg.html)

Sam frowned again, his brow creasing with a deep concern,  
“You were having a nightmare, Dean. You were calling out to me in your sleep-“

Dean’s face flushed and he nonchalantly waved his hand in the air,  
“Don’t worry about it, Sammy,” He attempted to push his brother off of his bed and back to his own. The last thing he wanted right now, especially after witnessing his own brother’s breakdown in the library, was to burden Sam with his own problems. His memories were nothing compared to his little brother’s and he was determined not to say anything about it,  
“Go back to sleep, okay?” He was just about to settle back down onto his pillow when Sam’s hand on his arm stopped him.

“What do you mean ‘don’t worry about it’?” Sam demanded,  
“You were obviously distressed about something and I know it had nothing to do with the dog…” When silence greeted him, the younger brother pressed on stubbornly,  
“You were dreaming about Purgatory, weren’t you?”

“Sam.” Dean’s voice held a firm warning, but Sam refused to let it drop.

“How long have you been having these nightmares?” He demanded once again, his hand never leaving Dean’s arm. In fact, his grip only tightened when he felt his brother flinch at the mention of Purgatory,  
“Let me guess. The whole time, ever since you escaped and found me, right? If I know you as well as I think I do, and I do know you, Dean…you’ve been hiding every single nightmare, haven’t you?”

“So, what if I have?” Dean grumbled under his breath, not meeting his brother’s gaze even though he knew Sam couldn’t see it,  
“Your recovery has been top priority, Sammy, you know that by now-“

“What I know is this,” Sam interrupted firmly,  
“Remember when mom, dad and Bobby showed up here? Remember dad telling us to look after EACH OTHER? Did you forget the fact that I care about your well being as much as you do mine?”

Growing uncomfortable where this conversation was going, Dean shook his head and attempted to push his brother away again,  
“Sam, we are not going there. Taking care of you is MY job. Now go back to bed.”

“I won’t,” Sam stubbornly replied, releasing Dean’s arm so that he could get more comfortable on the bed. Gently shoving his older brother over, he ordered,  
“Scoot over, this is gonna take a while.” 

Giving in with a roll of his eyes, Dean moved until his brother got comfortable. He waited until Sam had crossed his legs on his bed and then folded his hands in his lap,  
“Don’t get too comfortable, Sammy, we’re not having this conversation-“

“Then I take it you won’t mind that I sit here for the rest of the night, will you?”

Forcing himself to not grumble under his breath, as he knew that Sam’s hearing had gotten especially sharper ever since he had lost his site,  
“And I thought I was the stubborn one, Sam…” 

Sam shrugged his shoulders and rested his elbows on his knees, not moving from his position,  
“Who do you think I get it from?”

“Sam, go back to bed-“

“I already told you I won’t,” Sam’s tone came out sharper then he had intended and he instantly lowered it,  
“Dean, you’re always helping me. Why won’t you let me help you for once?” Before Dean could reply, as he could just sense it from where he sat, Sam held up a hand and continued,  
“I confided in you for months, let you help me and you never once gave up on me. You never once let me suffer in my own misery. I hate to say it, Dean, but it’s only fair that you tell me what’s going on. There’s only one reason why you would be telling someone, or something, to get away from you and that has to be Purgatory. Am I right?”

Dean’s face flushed a bright red again and he lowered his head, taking in his little brother’s words. The last time he remembered his little brother talking to him this way was back when he had made that demon deal to save Sam’s life and he had pretended that nothing was wrong. That everything was okay and that he wasn’t scared, when the truth was that he was scared as hell, if not more. But that was different, wasn’t it? He had made that deal so that Sam could live. This time, he had been zapped to Purgatory with no warning and his brother had suffered endlessly at the hands of Missy Bender and those Leviathans because he wasn’t there. There was no way he was going to make his situation seem worse then Sam’s.

“Tell me, Dean,” Sam interrupted his thoughts, his voice gentle, yet filled to the brim with concern,  
“Save yourself the trouble and just get it out of you. I can tell it’s eating you up in side, man…I can’t see it, but I know it, because I know you.”

“Damn it, Sammy,” Dean moaned with a shake of his head,  
“You never give up, do you?”

“Not when it comes to my big brother, no,” Sam shook his head.

Dean sighed softly and scooted over more, patting the spot next to him before grasping his little brother’s arm,  
“Then get your ass over here, Sammy…” He waited until Sam had settle himself next to him and was looking in his direction silently before continuing,  
“I don’t wanta do this, Sam, but you’re right; it’s only fair, isn’t it?” He watched as Sam nodded without saying anything,  
“I have been dreaming of Purgatory, I’ve just not been saying anything about it…Every time I wake up, I make sure I’m never waking you up.”

“Didn’t work this time, Dean,” Sam whispered back.

“No, I guess not,” The older Winchester agreed,  
“Remember how you confided in me a few months ago about…well, about the Leviathan that took my form?” He waited anxiously for Sam’s reaction at the mention of that son of a bitch monster. He held his breath as Sam just nodded his head silently,  
“Well, those monsters, and more, not surprisingly were in Purgatory, too. And one of them had a tendency to take your form as well, little brother.”

0000

Dean had only been alone for a couple of hours, the darkness surrounding him on all sides and the continuous noises of every monster he and Sam had ever hunted stalking him in every direction. Thankfully, his hunting knife was still with him even after having been zapped here and it was now held out in front of him as he prepared himself for any sudden attack that would come his way.

His eyes narrowed into slits as he heard a crunch coming in front of him and Dean held his breath, not allowing fear to show on his face, as he mentally prepared for whatever monster he was about to face first in this place. He had faced any and every type of monster in his life; this really should be a piece of cake. But for some reason, now that he had no idea whether he would ever get out of this place alive, or what had happened to Sam, he admitted only to himself that he was scared.

He was scared out of his mind.

Sam was all alone now; the last time he had seen his little brother was right when he had entered that lab with Kevin just in time to see Dick Roman get blown to smithereens and get sent to this very place. Purgatory.

He was in Purgatory.

Might as well make the most of it and hope beyond hope that his brother was safe. That he also didn’t get sent here…

Before Dean could think any more of what could have happened to his little brother, the oldest Winchester glared in front of him as the crunching of footsteps in front of him grew louder and a figure soon emerged out of the darkness. Dean blinked his green eyes a couple of times and squinted in the dark, taking in the familiar form and his breath caught in his throat for just a brief moment,  
“Sammy?”

The figure in front of him had the same build as his brother, his hair was the same length and was even wearing the same clothes Sam had worn the last time he had seen him. But that was all that was similar, the hazel eyes were as cold as stone and a smirk was on the figure’s face.

“Not Sammy,” He growled, preparing to take a swing at the Leviathan-or shape shifter- who had taken Sam’s form, but stopped when the monster spoke up.

“How do you know I’m not your brother?”

“Because I know my little brother, you son a bitch, and you’re not him,” Dean hissed, the knife still held firmly in his hand,  
“And wherever he is, he had better still be alive by the time I get out of here, or so help me God-“

Monster Sam tilted his head back and laughed, long hair falling into his face,  
“God’s not anywhere near here, Dean.” 

Still glaring angrily in his direction, Dean was just about to take a swing when another noise from behind stopped him in mid-swing and he turned. The snarling and growling was all too familiar to him and he knew instantly what was close by.

Hell Hounds. More then one or two of them. And they were close by.

Whirling back around, fear churning in his gut, Dean cursed to himself as he saw that the monster that looked exactly like Sam had disappeared as if he was never there to begin with,  
“God damn it!”

Hearing the growling coming closer and closer and soon seeing the claw marks of more then two Hell Hounds, Dean gripped his knife tightly and without a second thought, took off at a run and didn’t stop. As he ran, he fumbled around in his jacket pocket, hoping against hope that his gun was still there. His fingers finally closed around the familiar feel of the weapon and, hearing the snarling only catching up to him, Dean cocked the trigger and whirled around, taking aim and firing.

0000

“You came across a shifter that looked like me?” Sam softly repeated, his heart going out now more then ever for his big brother,  
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” He stopped right then and shook his head, not giving his brother a chance to answer,  
“I’m sorry, Dean, I should have asked you those types of questions long ago-“

“No, Sammy,” Dean interrupted before Sam could continue,  
“No, he didn’t hurt me and you’ve had enough on your plate to deal with. Besides, how could you have known that son of a bitch would transform into yourself while I was in Purgatory? You didn’t even know I was there…”

“No wonder you’ve still had that fear of Riot,” Sam continued with a soft sigh,  
“I mean, especially after before…” He stopped, not able to say the words, but knowing Dean knew exactly what he was about to say.

“I know.”

“What else happened, Dean?”

0000

“I told you, your little brother is either dead or going to die, and there’s no way out of here,” The shape-shifter Dean currently held by the throat was hissing,  
“You’ll be dead before you manage to get out of this place alive.”

Dean pressed the blade close to the shifter’s throat and got into its face. This thing looked so much like Sam, it was always hard to look into its face without thinking of his little brother, alone somewhere. And Sam was not dead; he would know deep in his gut if his brother was dead and his gut was telling him that he was still alive,  
“You’re lying. I’ll find my way out of here and you’ll only find your head detached from your body. Now tell me what else you know!” He gripped the blade tighter and was tempted to just get this over with and kill this son of a bitch; but if this creature knew anything about Purgatory and where Sam was, he couldn’t kill him just yet.

“That’s not for me to tell you, that’s his job,” The shifter nodded briefly over behind Dean, and he smirked as the older Winchester glanced over his shoulder in time to see another figure walk up to them. But Dean wasn’t stupid, his grip only tightened around the monster’s throat.

[](http://s1298.beta.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/2-PurgatoryDean_zps4e4ef379.jpg.html)

“I should just slice your throat and be done with it,” Dean hissed angrily before releasing his hold on the creature and letting it collapse back to the ground. He wiped a bloody hand through his short hair and turned back towards the figure heading his way, ignoring the fact that the shape-shifter had just ran away,  
“Who are you?” He demanded, watching as the figure in front of him grinned at him and showed his fangs,  
“A vampire, why aren’t I surprised?” 

“You don’t want to kill me,” The tall figure hissed, taking a step closer to the furious Winchester,  
“You know you won’t. Anybody that has news on whether your baby brother is alive or dead, or how to get out Purgatory, you never want to kill. Am I right?” His smile widened even as Dean’s glare hardened.

“Do you know?”

“I’ve been here for hundreds of years, Dean; I don’t know yet how to get out, but I’ve learned a lot.”

“And tell me why in the hell I should believe a word that will come out of your mouth?” Dean stepped closer, slowly lowering his blade but not all the way just to be safe. He had been here for a couple of months now and every single creature he had encountered had deserved a beheading or a silver blade to the heart. This vampire shouldn’t be any different.

The vampire shrugged carelessly and folded his arms across his chest,  
“You have no reason to trust me, and really, I don’t even care if you do or don’t. It’s not like I’m concerned for your brother or anything-“

Forgetting the fact that he was facing a creature who could kill or turn him with just the wrong move, Dean stormed over and grabbed the vampire by the front of the shirt and pushed his knife close to his throat,  
“If you know anything of where the hell my brother is, if he’s even HERE, you had better tell me.”

The creature huffed and rolled his eyes in exasperation,  
“Your brother isn’t here. You Winchesters…I thought you two were joined at the hip, I thought you hunters knew where each of you where at all times. I’ll tell you this, your little brother would never have survived out here, not like you have. Oh yes, I know about his little trip to Hell and about how he carried Lucifer around as a companion for all those months and coming back without a soul…I know all of it.” He showed his fangs as he grinned at the look on Dean’s face, whose face was filled with the utmost hatred,  
“Alright, alright, I’ll stop talking down about your little baby brother, Sammy.” 

“How the hell do you know so much about us?” Dean demanded.

“Word gets around once we get sent here,” The vampire replied nonchalantly,  
“Everybody knows about the famous Winchester brothers, how you slaughtered the great Dick Roman and every single creature that you come across, especially if they threaten Sam. Am I right?” At Dean’s silence, he answered for himself,  
“I thought so. I’ve heard you’ve even killed some humans while you were at it.” 

“Enough with the bullshit!” Dean snapped in anger, his patience growing thin by the second,  
“I was told you knew if there was a way out of here and whether my brother was here or not, and since you said my brother isn’t here and you haven’t found a way out yet, tell me, what good are you?” 

The vampire narrowed his eyes right back and snarled,  
“Because I happen to be the smartest one in this joint, that’s why. I can’t say that you can trust me, but if you want to get out of this place in one piece, I highly recommend you stick close to me.”

Dean growled and pushed himself away from the monster he was currently conversing with and glared heatedly back at him,  
“So I can’t trust you obviously, but you want me to stick with you. You can go to Hell-“

“Do you want to see little Sammy again?”

Just as Dean was about to turn around and stalk away, those few words caused him to stop in his tracks and he turned slowly back around. That’s what it was. His brother. His little brother. If there was any way to get Dean to do the craziest of things, it was mention Sam to him. His green eyes still glaring daggers at the vampire, whom Dean still didn’t know the name of, he looked down at the offered hand that was held his way and he stiffly shook it in agreement.

0000

“Did you ever get his name?”

Dean lifted his head at Sam’s question and sighed in exhaustion,  
“No. Turns out, putting my trust in a vampire like that to get me out of Purgatory was both the best and the worst thing I could’ve done.”

Sam frowned and fiddled with a loose thread on his sweat pants,  
“Why do you say that?”

“Because it nearly got me killed,” Dean answered, watching Sam’s face and his reaction,  
“Because the son of a bitch betrayed me at the last minute and tried to kill me before I got out. If that had happened, I never would have gotten to you in time.”

0000

TBC


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

“What else happened, Dean?” Sam wrapped his arms loosely around his legs and he rested his chin on them, listening closely to every single word his brother was saying,  
“You said he betrayed you…”

Dean let out a long sigh and leaned back against the headboard, keeping his eyes directed on the wall in front of him. This was hard enough explaining this to Sam; watching his reaction wasn’t something he really wanted to see at the moment,  
“In some ways, it’s a Catch 22, Sammy. If I had never agreed to go along with him to escape, who knows what might have happened to you…but then again, he very easily could have succeeded in killing me right before I killed him.”

Sam lifted his head and turned to his left, focusing on Dean’s voice as he spoke,  
“So you did kill him?”

“Yeah.” He stopped and then added, his voice quiet,  
“He had it coming for him…”

0000

Time seemed to pass by much quicker in Purgatory then it did on Earth, and for that, Dean wasn’t sure exactly how he felt. He was stuck 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with this vampire who’s name he never even bothered to get. It wasn’t like it was important to him, he wasn’t planning on letting this son of a bitch live before he escaped along with him. All Dean cared about right now was getting out of this hellhole and finding his brother.

Wherever he was.

A horrible feeling was churning in his gut every time he thought of Sam. He knew for a fact that his little brother was alive, though; he always knew, call it “big brother intuition”, whatever you want, but he knew Sam wasn’t dead. But whether he was hurt or not, lying alone somewhere where nobody was taking care of him…that worried Dean to no end and it made him more determined then ever to stick with this vampire till the end.

He had been here going on an entire year now and Dean had realized that the vampire had been right all along, not only that he was smarter then any other monster here, but also that he wasn’t trustworthy. He had nearly turned Dean himself more then once since they had started working together, but he had stopped himself just in time. He had never tried to actually kill him, though; if he did, Dean knew that would be the end of it and the vampire’s head would be on a stick.

Nobody got in the way of finding Sam and lived to tell about it.

Now, the hunter was running for his life-literally-once again; it was the final stages before Dean was able to make his escape, he just knew it. From what he had been told, a blood sacrifice was going to be needed, and not just from anybody, but from somebody who had been to Hell and Dean immediately knew that he qualified for that. Trying to keep up with the vampire as they were chased through the forest by the Hell Hounds, Dean turned on his heel and drew his gun out again, aiming and firing…and missed.

“Shit!” He cursed just as the vampire in front of him came to a halt and turned around,   
“What the hell are you doing-“ He began as his gun was grabbed out of his hand and the monster aimed, fired and hit the Hell Hounds.

“Not bad,” Dean mumbled, grabbing his gun back and sticking it back into his jacket,  
“We almost there yet, hotshot?”

The vampire smirked his way,  
“Almost. Remember what we have to do and be ready because there’s more Hell Hounds coming.”

Dean rolled his eyes to the dark sky,  
“No shit.” With that, the two took off at a run again through the dark bushes.

0000

“What the hell, Dean?” Sam’s voice was hard as the corners of his mouth turned down into a frown,  
“A blood sacrifice? Don’t tell me you-“

“You bet your ass I did, Sammy,” Dean interrupted, rolling the sleeve of his long sleeve shirt up and exposing the now recovered knife wounds that were zigzagging all across his upper arm. He grasped onto Sam’s hand and brought it down to his arm, letting him feel the wounds. He watched as his little brother flinched and tears welled up, but were pushed back as Sam ran his fingers over the marks,  
“There was nothing I wouldn’t do to get out of there.”

“Dean…” Sam whispered, removing his hand and turning until he was sitting face to face with his brother,  
“Why that? That was suicide-“

“The entire year was suicide, Sam,” Dean corrected, rolling his sleeve back down all the way,  
“Honestly, taking a knife and cutting myself…that was nothing compared to what that son of a bitch did next…”

“You mentioned the Hell Hounds again, Dean,” Sam drew in a deep breath, almost afraid of what his big brother’s reply to this was going to be,  
“He didn’t…I mean, that vampire-whatever his name was…did he betray you by, I don’t know, throw you to those Hell Hounds or something? I mean, with the way that Riot has scared you…”

Dean sucked in a sharp breath at that question. He didn’t want to admit it, but his brother was hitting the nail on the head and he almost forgot for a few moments that he never answered Sam’s question until he felt his little brother’s hand on his shoulder again.

“He did, didn’t he?” 

Dean lifted his head and looked into Sam’s face, watching as a deep anger contorted his features,  
“Yes, Sammy.”

0000

“Hurry up, we haven’t got all day!”

Dean glared daggers at the vampire next to him once they reached the clearing, his knife held tightly in his hand. Yes, he had sliced himself many times before as proof that he was still himself, but now…Now this was a life or death situation, this had to work or else he would never see his brother again. He would never know whether or not Sam was alive or dead…

“I said hurry up, damn it,” The creature growled once again, baring his fangs in Dean’s face.

“You wanta do this?” Dean snapped back,  
“I didn’t think so, now shut the hell up!”

A few seconds passed in tense silence and the hunter gritted his teeth in desperation,  
“You better have that damn spell on you to open this portal or so help me God-“

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re a lying ass, that’s what I think,” Dean growled under his breath, knowing the vampire could very well hear him,  
“Now do you have it or don’t you?” He glared once again up at the creature and breathed a silent sigh of relief as he nodded with a roll of his eyes.

Another few minutes passed in silence until that silence was suddenly broken when the familiar growls appeared behind the duo and Dean’s heart leapt into his throat,  
“God damn it those Hell Hounds…” He tucked the knife back into his back pocket and just as he was about to stand to his full height, the hunter was taken aback when he felt a push from in front of him. Before Dean could even comprehend what was happening, he found himself lying flat on his back and the growling of the Hounds were closer then ever.

“Shit!” He shouted, already sensing them closing in on him and before he could do anything, he felt his jacket torn from his back and ripped to shreds. His green eyes widened in a horror he only remembered feeling when his little brother was in danger or when he was ripped apart by these same Hounds years ago and sent to Hell,  
“Son of a bitch!” He cursed loudly when he reached for his gun but realized it had fallen out of his torn jacket and was now lying closer to the Hell Hounds. 

Just as he was starting to rise to his feet, albeit trembling, his gaze caught the dark smirk of the vampire and his green eyes widened in absolute horror as he watched him pick up the blood sacrifice and the piece of paper that had the spell scrawled on it. Before the hunter could do anything, he felt his flesh tearing on his right arm as one Hound nearly knocked him to the ground,  
“Get away from me, you fuckin’ son of a bitch!” He shouted, his heart racing rapidly as he whipped out his hunting knife.

Not being able to see the Hell Hounds was bad enough, but knowing they were practically on top of him…Dean knew he had to move fast. And move now if he wanted to survive. Gritting his teeth, the older Winchester took another aim and plunged the knife straight into what looked like thin air and heard the satisfying whimper of the Hell Hound. Turning his head, he strained his ears as he was just starting to hear the vampire he had been accompanying start to recite the spell.

“Over my dead body,” Dean hissed in outrage, ignoring the fact that more growling was right behind him. The Hounds were getting closer.

Without a second thought, Dean ran over towards the vampire, relying only on anger and protective big brother instincts, the oldest Winchester reached the knife out and sliced the head off of the vampire, letting it roll right to the ground. Ignoring the body as it dropped to his feet, Dean grasped the blood and the spell and began reciting, his voice trembling madly.

0000

Dean almost forgot that he wasn’t alone in the room, that he was even speaking out loud, retelling this story out loud to his brother. He was so lost in his thoughts that he was taken aback when he felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder again and felt himself being pulled forward into a crushing hug.

“Sammy, I’m fine-“

Sam shook his head, ignoring the tears that were now freely falling down his face and onto Dean’s shoulder. He tightened his grip around his brother’s shoulders as he felt Dean’s arms encircle him in return, his hand rubbing his back,  
“No wonder you’re so scared of Riot,” He whispered,   
“My God, Dean, if I had known…if I had only known what was done to you, what could have happened to you…”

“You couldn’t have known any of it, Sam.”

“I know that,” Sam nodded his head, never releasing his tight hold around his brother. He knew that Dean needed some comfort this time around; Dean had been the one who had continuously held him time and time again since his rescue, holding him after ever nightmare and every hard talk without a second thought.

It was his turn to return that favor.

“It still happened, though,” The younger brother continued,   
“And you’ve kept all of this inside…where you ever planning on telling me?”

“Maybe in a few years time,” Dean tried to joke about it as he patted his little brother on the back,  
“Don’t worry about me-“

“Why not?” Sam finally pulled away,  
“You’re not the only one who worries about his brother, you know? Why do you think I refused to go back to bed after that nightmare?”

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed loudly,  
“Because you’re a stubborn little brother, that’s why.”

“Because you need me as much as I need you.” Sam insisted, knowing he was entering chick-flick moment territory again,  
“I know it. You went through hell, Dean and nearly got yourself killed by a Hell Hound AGAIN to get out of Purgatory and get back to me. Nobody can make it through that and not have scars, you know it-“

“Sammy, I’m really okay-“

“Then why were you having a nightmare?” Sam interrupted, once again taking on the roll of stubborn little brother,  
“It’s bothering you still and you have every right to feel that way.” He listened, waiting for his brother to say something and when he didn’t, Sam continued,  
“What will it take for you to agree that you deserve to have someone listen to you just like you listen to me? That you mean that much to me?” 

Dean’s head shot up and his eyebrows lifted,  
“This is getting awkward here, Sam-“

“It’s true, though,” Sam interrupted again,  
“You can try and deny it, that it doesn’t bother you. That you’re perfectly alright. But believe me, Dean…I know from experience this last year that pretending that I’m alright is not the way to go; it only makes you feel worse.”

“What if I told you I’m not alright with it?” Dean uttered, his voice so low Sam almost had to lean forward to hear it.

“Then you’ll let me be there for you, like I’m doing right now,” Sam answered as if it was the most logical answer,  
“You’ll let me be the one help take care of you for a change…” His voice caught in his throat,  
“Just let me…I might not be able to watch your back while hunting anymore and I might still be re-learning a lot of things that are just normal…but I can still be there for you in a physical manner, Dean. And I’m going to be, and you can’t stop me from doing it.”

Dean blinked his eyes rapidly, taking in everything his baby brother was saying,  
“When did you get so wise, Sam?” He joked.

Sam grinned, reaching over and squeezing Dean’s shoulder,  
“I’ve always been wise; but then again, so have you. So do me a favor and not keep this stuff from me. Let me help you in the areas that I can.”

Dean let out a deep breath and leaned his head back against the headboard again, lifting his eyes up to the ceiling,  
“You know how I feel about letting people help me…”

“I know,” Sam replied,  
“But as I told you before…it’s only fair. This whole helping each other thing we’ve had going since we were kids is a two-way street, Dean.”

Dean closed his green eyes and reluctantly allowed a few tears to leak out of his eyes and onto his face,  
“All right…” He sighed and turned back to his brother,  
“I’ll let you…”

Sam sighed in relief and he shook his head,  
“Thank God,” Without saying another word, he reached back over towards his brother and wrapped him back up in his arms, letting Dean rest his head on his own shoulder for a change this time,  
“You’ll be alright, Dean, I promise.”

0000

TBC


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

“Dishes here, silverware and of course, my best friend of all, the fridge,” Dean moved Sam’s hand around the kitchen that they could proudly call theirs,  
“Just let me know if you ever come across anything to make some pie, okay, Sammy?” He smirked as his brother shook his head with a smirk of his own.

“I thought I was your best friend, Dean,” Sam couldn’t resist teasing right back as he moved his hand further along the kitchen sink and up the cabinets, getting a feel for every single nook and cranny,  
“Now I find out it was the refrigerator all this time?” He huffed and stuck his lower lip out in a pout.

“You come after food, Sam,” Dean joked right back, coming back up behind his little brother and grasping his wrist again,  
“I mean, really; nothing compares to a home cooked meal or a hot pie for desert!”

“Or a pie anytime of the day,” Sam mumbled to himself, but making sure it was loud enough for Dean to hear,  
“If you had it your way, you’d have it for breakfast, lunch AND dinner.”

“Damn straight,” Dean smiled widely before turning slightly serious once again,  
“Okay, I think we’ve gone through the basics of the kitchen…what’s left?”

“If I’m going to be able to make us anything to eat that tastes edible, I think I need to know what food packages feel like,” Sam responded, his eyebrows coming together in concentration,  
“I can’t go and poison you, you’d never let me into the kitchen again!”

“Uh, we’ll get to the cooking part at a later date, Sammy,” Dean chuckled, nervousness about his brother doing THAT leaking into his voice,  
“You need to start simple.” 

Sam sighed softly and nodded, leaning his back against the kitchen counter,  
“Like sandwich simple?”

“Like, don’t poison me when I’m not looking simple,” Dean replied, gently smacking his brother’s arm,  
“For all I know, Sam, you’ll find a way to do that to get back at me for the food comment.”

Sam smirked, his eyebrows rising to his hairline,  
“I might.”

Before Dean could reply, Riot padded quietly into the kitchen and lifted himself up, resting his paws on Sam’s thighs. The younger Winchester smiled as he rubbed the dog’s ears and knelt down beside him just in time to feel him roll over,  
“Looks like somebody wants their tummy rubbed.” He rubbed the fury belly of the dog before lifting his head to where he suspected Dean was standing,  
“He really loves having his tummy rubbed, Dean. Want to give it a try?”

Dean’s first instinct was to reject the offer, like he always did ever since the animal had become part of Sam’s life. It had been a full week since he had poured his heart out onto the table in front of his little brother that night about Purgatory; a full week since he confessed why exactly he was so scared of dogs, even after Hell; a full week and he still had yet to come close enough to Riot so that the dog could lick his hand. He forced back a sigh and knew that if he was going to allow his brother to help him, he had to take some steps in the healing process.

Hell, if Sammy could do it, he could do it.

He knelt down on the other side of the animal, who still lay on his back and soon realized that Sam was still waiting for an answer,  
“Ah, what the hell?”

Sam’s smile was so bright it could almost light up a room and he held out his hand, waiting for Dean to accept it,  
“Gimme your hand.”

Letting his brother take his offered hand, Dean allowed Sam to move his hand to a certain spot on Riot’s tummy and carefully removed it,  
“Just rub it right there; that’s his favorite spot.” 

Dean gulped and did as his brother suggested, rubbing the fur slowly at first,  
“He won’t bit me?”

“He won’t bite you,” Sam answered instantly without a second thought,  
“I promise.” He waited and was pleased in just a few seconds he heard a slight chuckle escape his big brother’s lips,  
“See? He likes you.”

“How do you know, Sam?” Dean whispered back, continuing to rub until he felt the rough tongue of the dog lick the back of his hand,  
“He does that a lot…”

“What?”

“Licking me.”

“As I said,” Sam repeated,  
“It’s because he likes you and just wants to be your friend. Just like he’s my friend.”

“How do you know all that, Sammy?” Dean frowned in concentration, his heart still thumping in his chest from nerves,  
“How can you tell that’s what he wants?”

“Dean, I’ve been around this animal more then I’ve ever been around any animal,” Sam chuckled,  
“I just know. I don’t know how…it’s just a gut instinct, I suppose?”

“Huh,” Dean really didn’t have any words to reply to that. What was he supposed to say? The older Winchester went back to rubbing the dog’s belly with one hand while with the other, he reached out and patted the dog firmly on the back, smiling as he wagged his tail happily,  
“Maybe he does like me.” He patted the dog on the back once again before removing his hand,  
“Course, who wouldn’t?”

Sam grumbled and sat back on his heels,  
“Don’t go and get a big head about it now…” A smile slowly crossed his face again as he heard the one thing that cemented the fact that his brother would be okay.

He laughed.

0000

“You sure you want to do it, Dean?” Sam asked, looking up from his laptop from where he sat on his bed,  
“I mean, it’s not like Riot’s going anywhere…”

Dean chuckled and shook his head, wrapping his robe tighter around his waist,  
“You know, Sammy, just a few weeks ago, I would have been asking you that question, not the other way around.” His voice turned serious just then as he folded his arms across his chest,  
“I’m okay with it, but are YOU?”

“Huh?”

“You haven’t been out in public these last few weeks since we got the dog, except for a few drives and a few short walks,” Dean explained,  
“Are you sure you’re ready?” He moved and took a seat across from his little brother, gently reaching out and closing the laptop,  
“I want to make sure you’re ready before we do this. You’re suggesting really going out in public this time around; it’s your first time since you got the prosthetics-“

“I’m comfortable with them now, though, Dean,” Sam gently interrupted,  
“I wasn’t at first. It’s been taking some getting used to, just like you and Riot,” He nodded over at the dog who was lying on the floor beside his bed,  
“But…” He sucked in a sharp breath and let it out,  
“But I’m good. I’m ready and as long as you are too…you know, being around Riot for a lengthy period of time.”

“It’s just a walk and he won’t hurt anybody,” Dean shrugged his shoulders as he rose to his feet, making his way to the door,  
“I’m just gonna shower and after we get a bite to eat, we’ll head out.”

“Got it.” 

Once Sam heard the shower being turned on from the bathroom across from their room, Sam rose to his feet and urged Riot to come closer,  
“Come here, boy.” He reached back onto the nightstand and grabbed the dog’s leash from the top, hooking it into Riot’s collar when he got closer,  
“Kitchen.”

Sam’s heart thumped loudly in his chest as he walked slowly towards the kitchen, all the while feeling his way around wall and turn he passed on the way there. He was going to surprise his big brother again; it was time. He just hoped that he didn’t screw it all up in the process. Once Riot led him into the large kitchen, Sam kept one hand holding the leash and the other feeling around until he felt the familiar refrigerator beneath his palm,  
“You think my brother wants something healthy this time?” He smirked and laughed as Riot let out a loud bark,  
“That’s what I thought.” He opened the fridge and racked his brain, trying to remember where the loaf of bread and mayonnaise were,  
“Ah-ha!” He smiled to himself as his hand grasped the bread bag and the large jar of mayonnaise. Releasing Riot’s leash for the moment, he ordered,  
“Stay right there, boy.” Hearing the quiet bark coming from the animal, Sam grinned,  
“Good boy.” Setting the bread and mayonnaise down on the counter, Sam reached back inside and soon frowned,  
“Bologna or turkey for my big mouth brother? Turkey, I thought so.” The younger brother concentrated hard as his mind focused on trying to remember what the packages felt like, both for himself and for Dean,  
“I can do this, Riot. Dean won’t know what hit him.”

Almost a half hour later and nearly all the hot water gone after both brother’s showers, Sam heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and the familiar sound of Dean’s feet coming down the hall. Setting the final plate down and ordering Riot to stay beside his chair, Sam listened as the bedroom door opened and Dean’s voice called out,  
“Sammy?”

“In the library,” He called back, waiting until he was sure his brother was close enough before he pulled his chair out, straddling it. Picking up his own sandwich, he smirked and took a bite,  
“Have a seat. Fixed you something to eat.”

“You…fixed…what?” Dean’s brow furrowed and he squinted at the sandwich resting in front of the empty chair beside Sam,  
“Sammy, did you…?”

Sam shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and took another bite, pleasantly surprised to find that it tasted halfway decent,  
“I didn’t poison it, I promise.”

“You sneak,” Dean chuckled, still trying to get over the surprise as he took a seat beside his little brother. He picked up the sandwich and sniffed it,  
“It smells normal…”

Sam snorted loudly,  
“So does mine, you jerk,” He huffed back,  
“Give it a shot. I’m not that bad of a cook after all.”

Dean laughed and shook his head,  
“We’ll see about that, won’t we?” He kept his eyes on Sam’s raised eyebrows as he took his first bite and swallowed.

“So?”

“Not bad, Sam,” Dean’s green eyes widened in pleasant surprise,  
“Not bad at all!” Realizing how much his stomach was growling, he took another bite and savored the taste,  
“Is this going to become some sort of tradition here? You surprising me with doing these kinds of stuff when my back is turned?”

“Who knows?” Sam shrugged again and reached out to pet Riot’s head when he felt it come to rest against his thigh,  
“Things are getting easier around here; I might as well take advantage of it.”

0000

“Still doing alright?”

Sam shook his head and turned to his left where he knew his brother was watching him closely,  
“Dean, I’m fine. I promise.” He stopped walking and reached down to rub Riot’s back briefly before straightening back up,  
“Let’s take a seat though, okay? We’ve been out here for a few hours and Riot could use a little break.”

[](http://s1298.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/new2_zps70b24321.jpg.html)

Motioning to a bench on the sidewalk where they were walking, Dean agreed,  
“There’s a bench to your right, Sammy,”

Nodding in understanding, Sam spoke clearly to the animal leading him,  
“Turn right.” Once the two brothers were seated, Sam twirled the dog’s leash in his hands and soon handed it to Dean,  
“You want to walk him for a little bit?”

Lifting an eyebrow, Dean frowned in concern,  
“And what about you?”

“I’ll just hang onto your elbow, I know I won’t fall flat on my face or fall down a flight of stairs this time,” Sam tried to make light of it for his brother’s sake,  
“I think Riot would like it if you did it once in a while,” He reached out to pat the dog and chuckled as he felt the dog roll over onto his back for a tummy rub.

Before Dean had time to respond, he heard a high-pitched child’s voice getting closer to him and Sam and his guard instantly went up, like a shield between him and his little brother.

“Look, mommy! A doggy!”

“We might end up getting company, Sam. You okay with that?”

Sam sucked in a sharp breath and let it out slowly,  
“It’ll be fine. She’s just a child…”

“A doggy, mommy! Look!” Dean kept his eye on the little girl, who couldn’t be any older then 5, watching as she ran away from her mother and made a beeline towards Riot, who had suddenly moved from lying on his back to standing in front of Sam,  
“Hi, doggy!”

“Sweetheart, don’t touch the dog!” The mother’s voice sounded as she took off after her daughter,  
“That’s a Guide Dog, sweetie!”

Apparently ignoring her mother, or not having a clue what a Guide Dog was, the little girl knelt down in front of Riot and was about to reach out and touch him when Dean couldn’t stop himself and he put his hand out to stop her,  
“Watch it, kid. No touching.”

“My word, I’m sorry about that,” The mother apologized as she grasped her daughter’s hand and pulled her back to her feet. She looked over at Sam and watched as although he smiled, his expression appeared nervous and he didn’t meet her eye,  
“She loves dogs.”

“She can pet him if she wants to,” Sam spoke up, reaching a hand out and waiting until the child grasped his before moving it down to Riot,  
“He loves to have his tummy rubbed.”

Dean watched as excitement filled the little girl’s expression while Sam spoke to Riot,  
“Lie down, boy.” He handed the leash over to Dean,  
“Hold this for a second, okay?” With one hand holding the child’s, Sam moved his other hand down to Riot’s stomach and found the correct spot when he heard his tail wagging on the ground,  
“Rub him right there; that’s where he loves to be rubbed the most.”

The little girl watched Sam’s face and then turned back to the dog as she rubbed where Sam directed,  
“Are you blind?” 

“Melissa!” The mother snapped right then, horror filling her tone,  
“That’s not a polite question to ask!”

Dean waited, hoping that he wouldn’t have to step in; but he knew that if the worst happened and his little brother was going to take a giant step backward at that question, he wouldn’t hesitate to get him away from these two. No questions asked. Surprisingly, he raised his eyebrows as he listened to Sam’s response.

“Yes, I actually am,” He replied, his voice calm and gentle,  
“This is Riot and he helps me get around.” Sam listened as the little girl giggled and he felt Riot bump his head against his knee as his tail continued wagging,  
“You know he likes you, right?”

“He does?” Little Melissa squealed.

“You bet he does,” The younger Winchester responded, his smile widening as his dimples showed in his cheeks,  
“He likes people.”

Dean continued watching in silence as Sam interacted with the mother and daughter and felt his heart fill with more hope then he had felt in so long.

Maybe they really would be okay.

0000

TBC


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- And so it ends. I just want to take the time to thank all the readers and those who continuously reviewed, followed and listed as their “favorite”. I’m just blown away by the response to this story, I truly mean that. So thank you to: Aecoris, SPN Bookworm, judyann, sarah, AshleyMarie84, SPN Mum, murphy9202, Ginnylove9990, mandancie, nupinoop296, Marrow365 and everybody else I didn’t list! The reviews kept me going, kept me writing, these last few months and they all mean so much to me! So without further ado, here’s the final chapter! Enjoy and until next time…which will be coming soon!
> 
> Much Love,  
> Erin

Chapter 32

“Well, if it isn’t the birthday boy!”

Sam’s face flushed a bright red as he felt Sheriff Mills pull him in tightly for a hug as he stood in the doorway of her home in Sioux Falls. Handing Riot’s leash without hesitation to Dean, he wrapped his arms around his friend and returned the hug just as tightly,  
“My birthday isn’t until later this week, Jody-“

“Hush, you,” She interrupted, squeezing him just before she reached over and laid a kiss on his cheek,  
“I haven’t seen you boys in a couple of months, so I think I have the right to wish you a happy birthday.”

“She’s right, Sammy,” Dean chimed in, allowing Jody to hug him as well,  
“You don’t want her using her ‘Mom’ voice on you now, do you?”

“Shut up,” Sam mumbled, although his voice held no heat. He accepted Riot’s leash back and stepped into Jody’s home,  
“She’s already used her ‘Mom’ voice with me more times then I can count.”

Jody stepped aside as the Winchester brothers entered her home and she nodded towards the living room,  
“I didn’t tell you over the phone, but you boys have another visitor waiting for you in there…” She nodded to the figure sitting on her couch as they entered the room.

Dean’s eyebrows arched upward as he watched the familiar figure rise to his feet, almost nervously,  
“Garth.”

[](http://s1298.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/imagesCAROTJK2_zps9ea7489f.jpg.html)

“Garth?” Sam repeated, turning his head towards his brother and back again,  
“I’ll be damned.”

“Sam, Dean,” The scrawny, younger hunter smiled his usual bright smile, but kept a safe distance as he saw the look on Dean’s face,  
“It’s so good to see you guys.” He looked over at Sam and watched as a smile crossed his own face,  
“I hear you’re doing a lot better, Sam.”

“What are you doing here, Garth?” Dean gruffly demanded, not giving Sam a chance to answer the other hunter.

Garth sighed and lowered his head,  
“I heard you two were dropping by and I wanted to come by and apologize to you. Especially to you, Sam.”

“Apologize for what?” Sam broke in before his brother could speak,  
“You didn’t do anything wrong, Garth; you helped save my life…”

“For Michael Harper, that’s what,” The younger hunter replied quickly, wanting to get this over with. He was feeling horrible about what had happened; he had nearly gotten his friends killed,  
“If I had known, Dean, I never would have thrown you to the wolves like that…” Awkward silence filled the room,  
“So I hope you two can forgive me.” He lifted his head and seriousness shone in his eyes,  
“I’m glad you’re doing better, Sam. If it’s my place to say so, you two are more then lucky to have each other.”

“We know,” Dean replied, his voice softer as he glanced over at his little brother in time to see him nod his head,  
“And we are.” He sucked in a deep breath and let it out. The older brother knew that he had been holding a grudge against this kid ever since the Leviathans chose not to leave them alone; he never spoke about it, but he knew that it was there. After all, his brother nearly got himself killed again because of Garth. But the younger hunter didn’t know; he believed he was doing them a favor after all. Besides that, he and Sam never would have found their way to the bunker in the first place if he didn’t happen; they actually had a place they could call “home” now,  
“Apology accepted.” He grinned and soon rolled his eyes to the ceiling as the scrawny hunter soon pounced on him and threw his arms around him in a bone-crushing hug,  
“Okay. Okay, Garth.” He patted his back briefly before pulling away,  
“You can let go now.”

Dean was unable to hold back a smile as he listened to his brother laugh beside him,  
“Oh come on, Dean, you love hugs.” 

“Shut it, Sammy,” Dean groaned and smiled right then as he watched Garth now pounce on his brother, wrapping his arms around Sam just as tightly now,  
“You know the drill just as well as I do. Garth will not allow you to go anywhere without hugging you.”

[](http://s1298.photobucket.com/user/redwingsgirl15/media/Erin/Img_15__zpsafaa1b25.jpg.html)

Sam smiled and shook his head, reaching up with the hand that wasn’t holding onto Riot to hug his friend back,  
“Thanks, Garth.” Feeling the younger hunter release him, he continued,  
“We know it wasn’t your fault.” Before either brother could continue, the sound of a cell phone going off interrupted them and Garth pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking the message he had just received.

“Well, I’ve gotta make this short; looks like I got a vengeful ghost that needs to be taken care of right now,” He tucked his phone back into his pocket and grinned back at the Winchester’s as he headed towards Jody’s front door,  
“Don’t be strangers, you two.” Waving at Jody, who was standing in the doorway to the living room, Garth exited the house and as soon as Dean heard the sound of a car roaring to life, he shook his head.

“I don’t know if I will ever get used to that kid.”

0000

“I’m so happy you two chose to come and visit, even if you’re only staying for the night,” Jody smiled as she took a seat across from Dean at the kitchen table and shoved a bottle of beer his way,  
“Sam’s doing so much better it appears; it looks like the prosthetics and the Guide dog were all a good idea then?”

“More then you realize, Jody,” Dean shook his head in amazement as he opened the bottle and took a swig,  
“Except for the fact that the kid can’t see, he’s basically back to his old self again. Besides the occasional nightmare…” He sighed as he recalled those few times in the last few months when he woke up to his brother tossing and turning; but unlike before, when it would take Sam hours to get past it, it now only took a few minutes, a few tears and he’d fall right back to sleep like it never happened,  
“I never thought I would hear myself say this, but Riot…he’s definitely useful and he’s been a good friend to Sam.”

“But the dog isn’t you, Dean, you know that.”

“I know,” Dean replied with a nod of his head,  
“And I’m not going anywhere. Sammy still needs me, there’s still things he’s learning how to do, but he’s getting there. He’s really getting there. I mean…” He leaned forward in the chair, shooting a glance to the spare room down the hall where Sam was sleeping,  
“Sam would get embarrassed if he heard me talking about him like this; his hearing seems to have sharpened ever since he lost his eyesight,” He chuckled at the thought, that his little brother now had better hearing then him even,  
“But…I’m blown away by how he did a complete 180 ever since he got that dog and those prosthetics. Even the laptop was a miracle if I’ve ever seen one. He grasped onto that new life of his and he rode it out like he’s always done and…I’m proud of that kid, Sheriff; he’s even learning how to cook again. He’s made my bed plenty of times and he has even willingly talked about being blind in front of strangers like it was no big deal.” He took a deep breath, knowing he was pouring his heart out on the table in front of his friend, but knowing he could trust her with this information, he continued,  
“I don’t know if I’d have been able to do that.”

“You went through your own personal experience of Hell, Dean,” Jody jumped in, reaching across the table and placing her hands over the younger man’s,  
“Now, I don’t know what went down when you got sent to Purgatory, I really don’t; that’s between you and Sam. But you’ve put aside all of your own burdens, all your own terrors to take care of that brother of yours in the other room. That right there shows that you would be able to do what Sam has done if you were in his shoes. And I know that Sam would believe it, too.”

“He would.” 

Seeing that the older Winchester was starting to get uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going, Jody released his hands and leaned back in her chair,  
“So what are your plans for his birthday?”

“I’ve got something up my sleeve that I’ve been planning these last couple of months,” Dean winked at her,  
“I got to admit, with the direction our lives have taken…now that we’re not hunting anymore…I’m actually kind of enjoying it; I never thought I would, you know?”

“Well, know that you boys can come to me anytime if you need any help,” Jody replied,  
“Whether it be financially or if Sam needs help with that laptop, I’m here. I may not be Bobby, but-“

“Yeah, I know,” Dean smiled,  
“You were with Sammy that entire year and took care of him as best you could. So because of that, we trust you.” He met his friend’s eyes and his own green eyes turned mischievous,  
“Just tell me one thing though.”

“What’s that?”

“Please tell me you at least have some leftover pie for the ride?”

0000

Nearly thirty-six hours later, with a large box of leftover pie safely in his hand, the two brothers entered their rooms once again at the Men of Letters bunker. Dean took a seat on Sam’s bed and patted the spot beside him, placing the pie box on his other side,  
“Okay, Sammy, I think it’s time we get those prosthetics cleaned up a bit, alright?”

Taking a seat next to his brother and unclipping Riot’s leash, Sam set it on the night table beside him and turned to where his older brother was sitting,  
“I’d like to give it a try this time; you know, taking them out?”

Dean frowned,  
“You sure?”

“I’m sure,” Sam replied with a nod of his head,  
“I remember how you did it.”

“How?”

“I can feel it,” Sam answered,  
“My other senses seemed to have heightened a bit with the loss of sight.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Dean joked back,  
“I can’t even take a piss in the middle of the night without you knowing what kind of dump I was taking!”

Sam sent his brother a full bitch-face in return,  
“Gross.”

Dean shrugged in return and grinned,  
“It’s true, Sam. I mean, you’re hearing seems to have gotten better the longer you have to rely on it,” The older Winchester kept talking even as he watched his little brother turn his back on him for a few moments.

“Hey, Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean shut up for a few moments and watched as Sam turned back towards him, prosthetics in his lap and his hands lifting his eyelids up to reveal nothing there. Cringing slightly, Dean scowled at his brother and shoved his shoulder,  
“Gross, Sam. Enough of that…”

“Now we’re even,” Sam replied with a wicked grin as he handed the hazel prosthetics over to his brother, who grabbed them with a mumble.

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

0000

“Happy birthday, Sammy.”

Sam awoke in surprise, feeling a gentle shake of his shoulder and his brother’s voice in his ear. Sitting up in bed, he ran a hand through his long hair as he felt the dip in the bed as Dean took a seat next to him,  
“Dean…what are you doing? We never celebrate birthdays anymore-“

“We do now, kiddo,” Dean replied with a bright smile as he squeezed Sam’s arm,  
“Things are different now, Sam; and as long as we’re living here, we’re gonna celebrate our birthdays whether you want to or not, so get over it.” 

Sam laughed quietly and ran a hand over his face,  
“That’s new.”

With another squeeze of his little brother’s arm, Dean rose to his feet and headed towards the bedroom door,  
“Get your robe on and meet me in the library, alright?”

“Uh, okay,” Sam raised an eyebrow in confusion and felt Riot nudge his hand as if he was urging him out of bed as well,  
“But I have to ask something first though, Dean.”

“What’s that?”

“Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?”

Dean rolled his green eyes even though he knew Sam couldn’t see it and shook his head, keeping one hand on the door knob,  
“Just do it, Sammy.”

A few minutes later, Dean looked up from where he was sitting at the table at the familiar sound of his brother and the dog coming down the hall. Making sure everything was in place for Sam-including the birthday cake for later and the pie he had made for himself-Dean rose to his feet just as his brother entered the room,  
“C’mon, kiddo, over here.” He hooked his arm through Sam’s and without warning, took Riot’s leash from Sam’s hand,  
“You won’t need that for a while.”

“Dean, what the heck?” Sam was getting more confused by the minute as he allowed his brother to take Riot’s leash and for the first time in months, allowed Dean to be the one to lead him over to the table,  
“You know I can get there myself, right? With the dog?”

“It’s not the dog’s birthday, Sam,” Dean replied as he gently pushed his brother down into the chair beside his,  
“So Riot’s gonna have to live with it today.”

Sam chortled and ran a hand through his tangled hair,  
“What’re you planning? You’ve got something up your sleeve, I can sense it. You don’t act like this on a regular basis,” He sniffed the air and leaned closer,  
“Is that a cake I smell?”

“Yup,” Dean grinned proudly,  
“And pie.”

“Pie?”

“That’s right,” The older Winchester replied, already wanting to chow down on that apple pie, but he knew it would have to wait till later,  
“Oh don’t worry, Sammy, the pie’s for me.”

“I never knew that,” Sam sarcastically retorted with a smirk of his own,  
“Seriously though, what’s up?”

“I have a little something for you,” Dean leaned down and grabbed the bag underneath the table, lifting it up and placing it in Sam’s lap,  
“Happy birthday, Sammy.”

“What is it?” Sam reached into the bag and pulled out a large box. Rattling it, he lifted an eyebrow at his brother,  
“Did you just give me all your Metallica cassette tapes, Dean?”

Dean snorted,  
“You wish!” He then turned serious and pointed back to the bag,  
“No, smart ass. Keep digging.”

Reaching back into the bag, Sam felt along the bottom and soon pulled out what felt like a cassette player,  
“Uh, Dean, what is this?” Feeling a set of earphones attached to the player, Sam placed it on the table and reached back for the box which he had set in his lap,  
“What did you do?” Greeted with silence, Sam opened the box and grabbed the first cassette tape that was resting on top. Immediately feeling his brother’s hand closing around his, Sam allowed Dean to flip the tape over and place it into the player.

“You’re gonna need these, little brother,” Sam could hear the smile in his older brother’s voice as he placed the headphones in his ears and felt around for the Play button.

Silence greeted him for a few moments except for the sounds of static until a familiar voice spoke into his ears.

“Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Damn it, this thing hates me…I can’t believe I’m doing this…” Sam was unable to hold back a laugh at his brother’s confusion on the tape and continued listening.

“Well, Sammy, if you’re listening to this, then it’s the day of your 31st birthday and I’m doing this for you because you deserve it. You deserve to have this part of your life given back to you, so without further ado, I’m about to embarrass myself totally.” The younger Winchester listened as he heard pages being turned in the background and more static sounded in his ears before his brother’s voice came back.

“Before you listen to these, I just wanted to say that I’m going to be reading your entire Harry Potter book series to you; I’m recording it on tape. I’ve snuck behind your back either while you’ve been sleeping or out with the dog, so I know you have no clue this is what I’m doing, little brother. You will find I’m reading all 7 books out loud to you-yes, all 7, Sammy, and stop laughing, damnit!” Sam couldn’t resist a snort of laughter even as he felt tears start to fall down his face as he realized what it was Dean had done for him.

“One more thing, though, before you start listening to the sound of my voice. Make sure you listen to each message at the beginning and end of each tape; there’s something I want to say to you on each tape. I’ll just start by saying, I love you, Sammy. Always have, always will, baby brother.” Sam listened as he heard Dean’s voice slightly crack before the gruffness returned,  
“Okay, enough chick-flick moments; I’ve had enough of those this last year to last me the rest of my life. Chapter One…”

Sam’s cheeks were streaked with tears as he pushed the off button and took the headphones off,  
“Dean, did you really…”

“Yes, Sam,” Dean replied back, watching Sam’s expression,  
“I’ve only done that series so far…Man, I’m telling you, some of those deaths that author described…We so could have kicked ass!” He laughed as he rolled his eyes to the high ceiling,  
“I managed to get a hold of all of the books you always liked to read once we moved into this joint and I’ve been reading through them since. I’ll do your Lord of the Rings series next-“ His words were suddenly cut off as he felt his brother’s arms wrap tightly around his neck,  
“You like it?”

Sam sniffed and nodded his head silently against his brother’s shoulder, unable to find coherent words to speak. Finally pulling away but keeping a hand on Dean’s shoulder, Sam’s face took on a look of utmost relief and seriousness,  
“Dean…thank you.”

“It’s nothing, kiddo-“

“No, Dean,” Sam interrupted with a shake of his head,  
“Thank you.” He squeezed his brother’s shoulder this time and lowered his head,  
“These last few months since you found me…well, they weren’t exactly what you would call easy. They were the hardest times of my life, but…you helped me through it and didn’t give up on me even when I wanted to give up on myself.”

“Sammy…”

“No, Dean,” Sam interrupted again. He needed to say this and his brother needed to hear it,  
“I’m alive because of you. And I’m not just talking about Missy Bender and the Leviathans. I’m talking about afterwards…I’m alive and I’ve healed because of you. I don’t know if you realize what exactly you’ve done for me…what you continue to do for me…”

“You would’ve done the same for me, Sam,” Dean seriously replied, allowing his little brother to have this moment,  
“You have done the same for me…”

“Not in the way you have, Dean,” Sam interjected,  
“You didn’t have to stay up with me all those countless nights. You didn’t have to continue to have patience with me during my spouts of anger. Hell, you could have just sent me away and put me in some home to have them take care of me! But you didn’t. You didn’t and…Well, I almost feel like myself again and now you went and did this for me…? Dean…”

“Your welcome, Sam.”

“Dean…” Sam repeated, sucking in a trembling breath,  
“I love you, too. You should know that. I never repeated it all those months ago because I was too overwhelmed with everything going on; but you need to hear it and believe it, because it’s true.”

Forcing himself to hold back his own tears that were threatening his eyes, Dean nodded his head in silence and grasped the back of his brother’s neck and pulled him back into his arms, wrapping his arms around Sam’s shoulders.

Yes, they really were going to be alright from here on out.

The End


End file.
